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amother
Lemonchiffon
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Tue, Jan 03 2023, 7:05 am
To the person above, it is true that people who are shy or introverted come across as aloof or snobby, but unfortunately that just means that we can be pretty lonely.
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amother
Dandelion
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Tue, Jan 03 2023, 8:25 am
amother Lemonchiffon wrote: | To the person above, it is true that people who are shy or introverted come across as aloof or snobby, but unfortunately that just means that we can be pretty lonely. |
Sometimes. If someone is introverted but not shy, they may be perfectly happy with their one or two friends who they may only talk to occasionally. What comes up for girls like this in high school, though, is that they find that they don't get access to the jobs and positions and activities they want to be involved in because of it; either the school specifically picks friend groups so they work well together and she doesn't have one, or there are social connections needed, or heads simply want someone who can be part of a cohesive group and she isn't really talking to people. You can not get summer jobs for the same reason, or get into camp programs.
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Chaya123
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Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:08 am
I'm so happy this topic is being brought up and hashed out. I have a few girls bh with both personalities. One of my daughters is Miss popular charismatic dramatic queen bee with a steady easy stream of friends wherever she goes. Another one is more introverted, content with being at home, keeping up with her few friends from school and camp and that's it. As an extrovert myself somewhere in between, I try to encourage her to get together with friends more but I'm seeing now that if she's happy like this and also at the age where I can't force her to be or do diff than what she wants, I need to just take a step back and let her be.
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sushilover
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Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:40 am
I think it's obvious that Libby's mother crossed a line by using her protektzia against her niece who she admits wasn't doing anything wrong. I think if Libby would know what her mother did, she would be horrified. As in most of these stories, it comes down to communication. If Libby's mother would have been brutally honest to her sister in law about how friendless her daughter is, I think things would have changed.
That being said: to all the Mindy's and mothers of Mindys, know this: with great power comes great responsibility. If you have the gift of charisma, everything you do has a much greater power than when a regular person does it. Don't pretend that your daughter is regular girl. She isn't. It isn't a big deal for a regular girl to not go out of her way to include someone else. But it's a huge deal when the most charismatic girl in the class does the same. Everything she does is being watched and people pick up on the most minute details of how she treats others, and they follow suit.
I wish teachers and mothers would tell this to their popular daughters: You have a gift. You must use it well or you will end up causing pain without meaning to.
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amother
Peony
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Sat, Jan 14 2023, 7:43 pm
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