Has ADHD medication been helpful?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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curlyhead

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 1:00 am

Had ADHD medication been helpful for your child?
How long it takes to get the right dosage?
What side effects did your child get?
Did the benifits outweigh the side effects?
Did you feel putting your kids on medication was just to make the school happy.
I would love to hear from parents who have kids with more mild ADHD who are ok at home but can't sit still in school.

amother

Peachpuff

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 1:02 am

curlyhead wrote:

Yes. YES! YEEESSSS!!! Medication has been extremely helpful for their behavior.
Tremendous change!
They are different people on medication!
They are like two different personalities, before and after they take it!!!
Side effect can be losing weight (which I supplemented with a small vitamin to increase their appetite).
Didn't just do it 'for the school', I did it to help my kids be their best version of themselves and to be able to control themselves, focus better and be more in control.
I have kids from mild ADHD to severe. All are/were on some kind of med, to help them.
It can be weaned off as they get older and learn how to control their impulsivity.

curlyhead

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 2:34 am

amother Peachpuff wrote:

What if I am happy with their personality and do not feel the need to change it. Why would I want my kids personalities to be changed?

amother

Pear

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 3:10 am

YES!!!!!!!!
I am so happy!!!!!
We did not do it for the school. His teacher was actually against the idea. My son was just 6 when he started and now he is 8.
He had so many issues and got so much negative feedback. From age 3 I realized something was up and had begun taking him to different therapies.
The meds helped him sit in school but also lowered his anxiety because he felt more in control of himself and the situations he is in. Socially he is doing so much better as well.
At my son's first pta meeting when he was 6 the teacher told us he didn't know what to do with my son. He said he is always bored and disturbing. He was sent out of class alot. At our second pta meeting the teacher did not yet know that we were giving him meds and kept saying that my son is amazing and it's such a miracle how well he is doing in all aspects and he is in the top of the class.
At home as well things are so much calmer when he takes his medication. Mybother kids feel calmer and safer and so does he. He isn't getting constant backlash for hus behavior. Even if the behavior is not the childs failt he still ends up feeling so much negativity towards him.
The doctor first prescribed long lasting ritalin which was great for his symptoms but caused him to have terrible tics. He then started Adderall which was terrible for him. He became super moody. He would cry like a baby and then bacome angry and had out of control outbursts. He has now been on Vyvance for over a year and he feels great. He does occasionally have minor tics.
Therapy has also been very beneficial. Working on parts of his brain thatvare weak and strengthening it.

amother

Azalea

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 7:02 am

I would recommend you read the book finally focused and do vitamins in addition to meds.

I am in between meds with my kid now so no advice but I saw the vitamins helped a lot of with the side effects.

Be careful not to up the dosage too quickly. Give it time. Make sure it is still working after a few weeks. Some ppls bodies get used to it and you need to keep upping it. That's not a good med then. That's been my experience now.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 7:17 am

YES
With one of my sons,the school didn't recommend, I felt that he was getting himself a name for being the hyper meshugane. We knew ADHD was a possibility. The first medication we tried worked immediately. The only side effect is that he falls asleep at 10 instead of 8. We've never looked back.
My second son, is ADD not hyperactive, it took nearly two years to find the right medication and he became very depressed with some of them, anxious, ticks, it has been a long journey but bH now, he asks for it himself.

Both of them insist on taking it even on Shabbos because they feel so much better on it.

amother

Cerulean

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 7:18 am

curlyhead wrote:

What if I am happy with their personality and do not feel the need to change it. Why would I want my kids personalities to be changed?

I don't feel it changed their personalities at all. My very hyper son is still a smiley bouncy person, it's just that his energy is focused instead of being all over the place. I feel that the medication gives them place to be themselves instead of the ADHD controlling them.

amother

Pear

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 8:41 am

My son's personality didn't change either. He only became more confident and happier. If a child's personality changes from meds then there is a problem with the med or dosage.

amother

Peachpuff

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 9:30 am

curlyhead wrote:

What if I am happy with their personality and do not feel the need to change it. Why would I want my kids personalities to be changed?

Sorry, I phrased it wrong. The meds did not change their personalities.
I meant that without the medication they are hyper and uncontrollable . And being super mature and happy when on the medication.

amother

Celeste

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 9:36 am

My daughter cannot control herself at all without medication. Imagine how painful that is. To be so impulsive and regret it after all day. Even with medication she has impulse control issues but it's kept to a minimum. She can have a conversation without jumbled thoughts. She can try to make friends. She can sit long enough to eat. Before medication she was underweight. She can learn the basics. I don't think she will go to college or take the regents but she can get a hs diploma and learn skills. I support medication for anyone who struggles with every day life. It took almost no time to figure out her dose but we don't do stimulants. They now give other medications that are easier to work with. We have tried stimulants. Not worth the side effects. We use guanfacine (tenex).

bwaybabe85

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:30 am

Medication is life changing. It allows the kids to be their best selves. It can take a few months to figure out which medication (or combo of medications) works, and you may need to change medications as the kids get older too.

amother

Tealblue

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:36 am

I have two kids currently on meds.

One was miserable beforehand. We had tried therapy and lots of parenting techniques and even fish oil pills and vitamins and changing his diet. He was in second grade and thought the world was out to get him. His siblings were terrified of him. I was at my wit's end when it came to parenting him. We medicated him and had a different child. All of his positive traits, which had been hidden for so long, came out. He couldn't get over how people suddenly LIKED him and were nice. He thought the world was mean because he was always getting yelled at or called out for doing things. And that included by his friends, siblings, and yes, parents too...He's a teenager now and when he doesn't take his meds by accident one morning, he comes home from yeshiva in a huge funk complaining about how awful everyone is. When on meds, he's friendly and likeable and happy. The first med we tried worked for him. We've upped the dose once, maybe twice, in all these years.

The other was totally fine at home. Happy kid, got along with his siblings and easy to parent. But had issues in school. Not with paying attention or academics, but with behavior. We worked with him for several years, lots of behavior charts, discussions, tried therapy again (but she told us there was no reason to continue, he was "fine" just impulsive). He would just do these impulsive things in school that would bother other kids and disrupt the class/recess/whatever they were doing. In fourth grade he finally got to the point that his friends were starting to avoid him and he was getting the reputation as "the kid who bothers other kids." That's when we started him on meds. The first one we tried (same as his brother) worked, B"H. Very low dose. We did have to raise it once towards the beginning as his body started metabolizing it faster, but it's still pretty low.

My older one had some side effects in terms of eating, sleeping...but those went away after a little while. My younger one hasn't had any. So yes, in their case, it has been very helpful and not very harmful.

Would I do it if my kid was happy? No, I'd try other options first. But if those didn't work, and it got to the point that my kid was getting a reputation, or starting to feel rejected, or whatever, then yes, I would try meds to see if they would help.

amother

Snow

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 11:57 am

YES YES YES-x3 for my 3 kids on meds!
Tremendous improvement in school. The good feeling carries over to after school as well. We got the correct dose quickly and there are no side effects that have effected them negatively.

amother

Sapphire

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:15 pm

Started my dd recently on gaufacine, it did not change her personality shes still the same bubbly outgoing child but it has helped drastically with her Impulse control, conversations and emotional regulation. She's a lot calmer and is more receptive

amother

Pansy

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:18 pm

My son is B'H now functioning on meds (off meds he really couldn't function well in school)
He's still struggling in the afternoon by English so we hired a private teacher to work one on one with him (he's struggling behaviorally, not academically)
But meds has been a life changer for us and allows him to function in school..
he's still his bubbly, loud and creative and cuckoo personality!! that didn't change!!
but he's much less impulsive and much more in control of himself so he can function in the world..

amother

Beige

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:25 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

Which Med are they on?

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:33 pm

My son was on meds for a little while. It helped him concentrate. We def did it to a little appease the yeshiva but he also felt much better being a full participant in the classroom.

The next year We put him in a different yeshiva, took him off his meds. And he’s did very well. Depending on the child , some kids just zone out in larger classrooms, get distracted easily. I remember feeling lonely when I was a child and purposely forced myself to daydream to get through the day.

It takes some time to adjust. He was very moody when it waning. Weight loss is a concern (for a thinner kid). They tend to lose weight on it.

If you think your child needs it, don’t get scared of stigma etc. you do for your child what you need to do. And vice versa. If you don’t think he needs it, don’t do it to appease the school.

A big pro for my son was that he got out of his shell a little and that carried over when he wasnf taking it.

If you put him on meds ask him every day in the beginning how he felt that day. I was very careful that he wasn’t feeling weird. At some points he preferred to take it. Felt good about himself. Then he stopped liking it. I am not sure what changed.

amother

Mintgreen

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:35 pm

One kid has more mild ADHD. He had trouble sitting still, finishing worksheets etc even though he is very smart. Like reading books several years beyond what his class is. He knew the math but just couldn't focus to finish it.
We are on the first med we tried but we did have to switch dosages a little. Now is doing amazingly...

My other kid we are we still figuring things out.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:50 pm

We put our son on the meds just for school.
He takes a break from them on Shabbos, summer, and vacation.

amother

NeonYellow

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 12:58 pm

curlyhead wrote:

What if I am happy with their personality and do not feel the need to change it. Why would I want my kids personalities to be changed?

That's quite an outdated concern.

adhd meds have come a long way.

They no longer "change personality" or make a child into a zombie.

It just helps them be a better version of their own selves.

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