Role of chussen mother at wedding

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amother

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 9:37 pm

My son ( first child ) Is iyh getting married in a few weeks. I didnt get to go or listen to any shiurim or anything about my role as chussen mother.
I'm looking for tips what did you daven for? Any special techinos? How about at the wedding? Did you feel like second class next to kalla mother or the same ?
I know what the chussen mother does by a wedding obviously but I never did it and I'm super nervous ( especially suffering from anxiety anyways) I can't beleive I got over the lechaim and tenoyim
We are bh very excited and looking forward but I would like to hear from experienced moms

PinkFridge

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 9:45 pm

Mazel tov! It couldn't be happening without you!
Something fun - being under the chuppah the whole time because you go first Smile

Enjoy! Aneinu probably has techinos. And don't underestimate regular tefillos, like Modim. They take on a whole new dimension at times like this. (And beH, may those dimensions not fade...)

amother

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 9:48 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

Mazel tov! It couldn't be happening without you!
Something fun - being under the chuppah the whole time because you go first Smile

Enjoy! Aneinu probably has techinos. And don't underestimate regular tefillos, like Modim. They take on a whole new dimension at times like this. (And beH, may those dimensions not fade...)

Amen! Thank you! We wont even be home the day of wedding so I need to take along. Also I hate being in the spotlight and the chuppa will probably be a long thing with singing ect ... actually I wont go first cuz we dont do parents walking down

amother

Hyacinth

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 9:55 pm

Following!
I made myself a mental note that since minhag stuff go according to the chussen to be extra nice!
And yeah I hope kallah won’t treat me like second class lol

amother

Burgundy

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 9:59 pm

I was the mother of the kallah, but I felt like the chussen’s mother got equal air time. No one treated her like second class.

amother

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:21 pm

Our wedding is not in our neighborhood so besides family and close friends most guests will be for the kalla side . By the men will probably be many for my husband and son obviously.

amother

Pewter

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:28 pm

Look at every guest in the eye and thank them for joining in your Simcha.

When you’re dancing, be present with the person you’re dancing with, not gazing around to see who to dance with next, that can feel hurtful to the person you’re dancing with!

After the chuppah, I picked up the glass my son stepped on under the chuppah (wrapped in a napkin) and saved it in my luggage to have made into a tray or mezuza holder as a future gift for the couple!

Mazel Tov!

amother

Hotpink

Wed, Jan 04 2023, 10:33 pm

amother Pewter wrote:

When you’re dancing, be present with the person you’re dancing with, not gazing around to see who to dance with next, that can feel hurtful to the person you’re dancing with!

But don't feel bad if you can't do this, it's not easy- it's very overwhelming!

PinkFridge

Thu, Jan 05 2023, 10:17 am

amother OP wrote:

And the kallah's side walks down second so not there the whole time.
Should you find yourself ever doing it (think of Rav Yaakov, zt"l) there are so many people there that really, you shouldn't feel self-conscious.

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