The socially off things people say and do

amother

Olive

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 8:57 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

When the trash cans weren't taken out or the front door of the building left open, and I'm told something along the lines of - just tell your husband to do this, or that, or other situations - just tell your husband to watch the kids/go to the store/pick that up. When the baby is brought to a late night event and I'm asked - why'd you bring the baby, baby takes bottles why didn't you leave the baby with your husband. Not everyone has the marriage you think they have and this may be a challenging relationship. It's like throwing salt on the wound.

When I tell someone how much it costs to chip in for a gift, and she says “speak to my husband”.

Do you not have shalom bayis or what?

amother

Brickred

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 8:58 pm

someone told me she was expecting and then said "I hope my news doesnt get you down, I know youve been trying awhile" it was a really weird and socially off way of saying it. she could have simply said "I want to let you know were expecting" why make me feel like a nebachy loser?

amother

Tiffanyblue

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 8:58 pm

amother Brickred wrote:

say "nu when are you having another baby?" I usually shut them up by saying weve been trying for 6 months and are going to an RE soon.
People are stupid

Or "anything else you'd like to know about our zex life?"
Eeww ppl can be so hurtful and obnoxious

amother

Mimosa

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 8:58 pm

When I respond to someone asking if I have children, the person says, “At least you do not have to worry about yeshiva tuition like we do.”

amother

Ghostwhite

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 8:59 pm

Is your dd in shidduchim?

Seriously, you know her age. Your lids younger than her are married with a kid already. It should be obvious to you. If you don't have a suggestion don't say anything at all.

amother

Ghostwhite

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:00 pm

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

Or "anything else you'd like to know about our zex life?"
Eeww ppl can be so hurtful and obnoxious

Dh said at work people ask for instructions how to make kids, if someone makes a comment to them about not having more kids.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:03 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

Dh said at work people ask for instructions how to make kids, if someone makes a comment to them about not having more kids.

Ooohhhh I like that!

amother

NeonPink

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:14 pm

amother Olive wrote:

When I tell someone how much it costs to chip in for a gift, and she says “speak to my husband”.

Do you not have shalom bayis or what?

Exactly, maybe she doesn't have shalom bayis. Or maybe they're having financial issues you're not aware of and she feels put on the spot and doesn't know how to answer.

I hope you never make anyone feel bad for answering that.

amother

Beige

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:27 pm

amother Olive wrote:

When I tell someone how much it costs to chip in for a gift, and she says “speak to my husband”.

Do you not have shalom bayis or what?

Maybe they don't? Why should she have to argue this out with him?

amother

Peru

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:30 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

Oh you have 5 girls (or boys)? Are you trying for ______ (opposite gender)?

as if you can put in an order for the gender you want

amother

Beige

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:31 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

This is my life. My neighbor doesn't understand why I don't spend much time schmoozing with her anymore, this is the reason.

amother

Offwhite

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:32 pm

“So what are you doing these days?”
“Enjoying Chanukah, what else?”
“No, I mean, are you still not working? What do you do all day?”

ruby slippers

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:33 pm

My aunt just passed away. She was very sick for three weeks. When I told MIL aunt had passed her response was, sorry to hear, she never stood a chance....
What?!?

amother

Saddlebrown

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:42 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

This

amother

Navyblue

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 9:43 pm

So Tell me about all your children and also who they are married to.

Maybe there is an older single that has been skipped? Maybe there is a divorced one?
Maybe someone OTD who is not looking to marry.

Please don't ask anyone this question. It can be so hurtful to some.

amother

Clematis

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 10:04 pm

Chassidish

Telling me, someone who drives, that a woman who drives is putting herself before her kids, that she's messing up their chances of shidduchim. The person knows I drive but was trying to explain to me why she chose not to drive.

amother

Pearl

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 10:09 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

Yes, in general it's awkward when someone speaks negatively about something that they know applies to you.

L'mashal, my SIL who knows I nurse my toddler told me about how she thinks babies should stop nursing once they can ask for it...whatever that means

amother

Pearl

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 10:10 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

Saying loud in a store how many times a week your teen daughter takes a bath

My FIL says when he goes to the frum grocery store, he gets to hear women's loud phone convos about BC.

amother

Holly

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 10:16 pm

amother Steel wrote:

Have you made a cheshbon hanefesh (I’m going through a lot)
Btw my rav told me I have one kabala Survive.

I love this. I've boiled my yiddishkeit down to this

amother

Olive

Sat, Jan 07 2023, 10:24 pm

amother Beige wrote:

Maybe they don't? Why should she have to argue this out with him?

Why do I have to know that?