What kind of teen were you?

amother

DarkRed

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 6:00 am

I was a very easy early teen. 16 to 18 I was very moody but you would never guess on the outside. I had this craving for connection. I used to have back aches and felt miserable inside. I felt very unconfident.

Now I feel very confident have a good self image but still crave close connections I bh have a very deep relationship with dh but I still need some close girl friend.

amother

Iris

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 6:04 am

I was nerdy in high school. I was a good student and did well, I wasn't popular, but I had friends - the nerdy clique!
I was an easy teenager though, as far as home and my parents were concerned.
When I came to seminary I started afresh and made a whole new group of friends, and gained tons of confidence - that year built the 'new me' - I think that was the 'real me' - I was just in the wrong high school so didn't flourish socially.

amother

Gold

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 7:45 am

I was very smart, but not “the smartest”. Good memory, broad base of knowledge, really good writing and test-taking skills. I got my only C ever in typing class only because I was such a perfectionist I wouldn’t move on to the next lesson until I got the current one perfectly, and so I didn’t end up finishing all the lessons.

Well liked, but not “popular”. My house was a bit farther from school, so I wasn’t at friends’ houses all the time on Shabbos, and I preferred studying alone to studying with a buddy. But I liked my classmates and worked well in groups. I had a place to sit at lunch and friends remembered to bring a cake for my birthday kind of thing.

I was considered one of the “talented” kids, even if I wasn’t literally the most talented, because I wasn’t an embarrassed or “too cool” to be enthusiastic and throw myself into things whole heartedly. So I was put in leadership positions for various artistic projects because I could also teach and direct others and make them feel good (and not just steal the spotlight).

I never got to do the “cool” chesed projects like Chai Lifeline or driving people etc. But I had several younger siblings and I knew that “chesed begins at home” even if I didn’t get any awards or recognition for it. My mother was happy to let me do my artsy things as my extra curricular, but if I wasn’t at rehearsal, I was at home.

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 9:26 am

amother Iris wrote:

I think I was similar to this. I also grew into myself socially during seminary and even in early years of marriage. I was probably a little more geeky as a teen.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 9:28 am

I was cute, pretty and smart, but had no friends.
Till today, I still can't figure out why.
Although I am now in my early 30's, I have lots of friends & I'm happily married.
Whenever my thoughts travel back to those high school years my heart still sears with pain and I cry. a lot.
There was a girl that would bully me and sat things to me like "I dont understand, who's your best friend, I can't figure it out."
I still remember the shame till today.
At the time, I didnt think of it as bullying, I would beat myself up with her words.

Chayalle

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 9:32 am

Babyblue, I think the high school years have an element of turbulence for so many people. I think some people (like myself) grow into their real selves later. And some will really be unkind (and bullying) as they go thru that journey. I also experienced the negative aspect of not-such-nice classmates during high school.

Chickensoupprof

Thu, Jan 12 2023, 11:52 am

I was a dreamer and insecure, smart, and very creative. I was too smart for the school I was in, which later made me rather rebellious. Not that I was sent out of class a lot. I just put on my Dr. Martens, ripped jeans and told my teacher who was Hungarian that I was a communist (and I had a Che Guevara cardigan of course) and she hated that. She then wailed that Caucescu was not nice but it didn't bother me, she found it ok that my stuff was being stolen and destroyed, that my arm got twisted, and that two children called me cancer jew and 'gas' 'gas' 'gas'.
I listened to metal (still do though), and was lovely to the people close to me but was in a way not really satisfied I wanted to have the high school musical life and that everything was OK like the series Glee and that wasn't the case and I hated that. I wanted to have that boyfriend who adored me, the clique of friends who were nice to me instead I was working below my level and then I went to an higher level school where it was better for me, but again I still was like not the person I wanted to be. Still insecure still dreamer, still felt ''less''.