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Part time for a mother is full time
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:13 pm
If someone asks me whether or not I work PT or FT I say PT (it’s 10-2 plus 40 min commute each way) but inside I’m protesting.

For a mom, this is full time.

My second job begins at 3 when the kid begin coming home.

My third job begins at 8 when cleanup begins.

Not complaining BH. Life is full, plate is full, bank account not full — yet — but ain’t this the truth?
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amother




Brown
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:15 pm
I completely agree with you
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amother




Ruby
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:17 pm
I work 9-4 and officially it's part time. Not. When I worked 9-3 I agreed that it was part time and yes I knew for me I was squishing 8 hours of work in a 6 hour day (and being paid for 6 hours) and then squishing the same at my job being a mom and housekeeper at home.
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amother




Dimgray
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:20 pm
Ooc what would you call a mother who works full time?
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amother




Kiwi
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:21 pm
amother Dimgray wrote:
Ooc what would you call a mother who works full time?

Exhausted? Very Happy
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:25 pm
amother Dimgray wrote:
Ooc what would you call a mother who works full time?


I’ve been there.

I call you a superhuman deserving of statues in your honor, a page in the Guiness, your name whispered in hushed reverence.
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#BestBubby




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:31 pm
There was a lady pediatrician in BP whose office was in her basement and who had a full time
cook/ housekeeper.

Her kids could drop by her office.

And when she finished work she didn't have to cook, clean, shop or do laundry, just available for family.

Only those earning big bucks can work full time and still have sane life work balance.
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amother




Navy
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:37 pm
amother OP wrote:
I’ve been there.

I call you a superhuman deserving of statues in your honor, a page in the Guiness, your name whispered in hushed reverence.


Op I agree with you. Moms who work full time are working two full time jobs, working overtime !
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:47 pm
I’m newly wed and I don’t have any kids, I’m not trying to be judgmental I only want to understand. Every time I see a post about mothers working cooking and cleaning, I wonder where are the men? I feel like because I’m not in this stage yet everyone understands something I don’t. Are the men out from 9-9?

To me, common sense would indicate that if wife works to bring in money, the housework is shared. This doesn’t seem to be the case, why?
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amother




Kiwi
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:49 pm
amother DarkCyan wrote:
I’m newly wed and I don’t have any kids, I’m not trying to be judgmental I only want to understand. Every time I see a post about mothers working cooking and cleaning, I wonder where are the men? I feel like because I’m not in this stage yet everyone understands something I don’t. Are the men out from 9-9?

To me, common sense would indicate that if wife works to bring in money, the housework is shared. This doesn’t seem to be the case, why?

Oh darling....
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amother




Yarrow
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:52 pm
amother OP wrote:
If someone asks me whether or not I work PT or FT I say PT (it’s 10-2 plus 40 min commute each way) but inside I’m protesting.

For a mom, this is full time.

My second job begins at 3 when the kid begin coming home.

My third job begins at 8 when cleanup begins.

Not complaining BH. Life is full, plate is full, bank account not full — yet — but ain’t this the truth?


You don't work full time. Sorry. 20 hours per week is very part time. Consider yourself blessed that you don't need to work longer.

Imagine working 9-5, and in winter months 9-6 so you can leave work at 1 on Fridays when Shabbos is at 4.
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:52 pm
Am I in denial? Do the men sit on the couch while the women do everything? Are they equally busy?
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amother




Snowflake
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:53 pm
amother DarkCyan wrote:
I’m newly wed and I don’t have any kids, I’m not trying to be judgmental I only want to understand. Every time I see a post about mothers working cooking and cleaning, I wonder where are the men? I feel like because I’m not in this stage yet everyone understands something I don’t. Are the men out from 9-9?

To me, common sense would indicate that if wife works to bring in money, the housework is shared. This doesn’t seem to be the case, why?


Simple - men in our communities aren't taught about the importance of contributing to housework or hands-on child rearing. They're taught to simply learn Torah, and that everything else isn't as important, or is the "woman's job". Some men are lucky enough to grow up in a house where they see their fathers contributing to the housework and raising kids, or their mothers show them how to be responsible homemakers. But many aren't that lucky.
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amother




Yarrow
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:53 pm
amother DarkCyan wrote:
I’m newly wed and I don’t have any kids, I’m not trying to be judgmental I only want to understand. Every time I see a post about mothers working cooking and cleaning, I wonder where are the men? I feel like because I’m not in this stage yet everyone understands something I don’t. Are the men out from 9-9?

To me, common sense would indicate that if wife works to bring in money, the housework is shared. This doesn’t seem to be the case, why?


Honey Bunches. Can't Believe It Can't Believe It

IMYH you'll be blessed to see what everyone here is talking about.
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mha3484




 
 
 
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:54 pm
I work full time 9-5 M-Th and 9- 2 hours before licht on Friday BUT I work 5 minutes from my house. The no commute is a huge deal. I feel like a human when I walk in the door. I think for many women its not the job its the commute. Its soul sucking and you come home exhausted.
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amother




Salmon
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:54 pm
amother Dimgray wrote:
Ooc what would you call a mother who works full time?
Overemployed is a thing. People working multiple full time jobs at the same time.
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amother




Ballota
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:55 pm
amother DarkCyan wrote:
I’m newly wed and I don’t have any kids, I’m not trying to be judgmental I only want to understand. Every time I see a post about mothers working cooking and cleaning, I wonder where are the men? I feel like because I’m not in this stage yet everyone understands something I don’t. Are the men out from 9-9?

To me, common sense would indicate that if wife works to bring in money, the housework is shared. This doesn’t seem to be the case, why?


In my household, it works that way to an extent. I’m still the “manager” who has to dictate and delegate tasks. My husband can go grocery shopping if I give him a list and tell me when/where to go. He’ll drop off the dry cleaning if it’s collected and hanging on the door. Will do laundry if it’s pre sorted, treated, and I make sure that there’s a enough detergent. I’m on default child duty for the most part. Also cooking unless I ask him to make a specific dish. Even if the tasks end up being equal, I carry the mental load
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:55 pm
So this is an ideal for men? Why do the women go along with it? I know that in Halacha a women doesn’t have to if she makes her own money. The way I understand, even in Halacha it’s a shared responsibility
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amother




DarkCyan
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 1:59 pm
amother Ballota wrote:
In my household, it works that way to an extent. I’m still the “manager” who has to dictate and delegate tasks. My husband can go grocery shopping if I give him a list and tell me when/where to go. He’ll drop off the dry cleaning if it’s collected and hanging on the door. Will do laundry if it’s pre sorted, treated, and I make sure that there’s a enough detergent. I’m on default child duty for the most part. Also cooking unless I ask him to make a specific dish. Even if the tasks end up being equal, I carry the mental load


Why? Why don’t you talk to him about it and demand equal responsibility. As far as I know it’s 100% according to Halacha. Why don’t you relinquish responsibility and ask him to do it if he wants it to happen?

Is this old fashioned sexism? I’m really not trying to bash… I just kept on seeing this, and I always wondered…
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amother




OP
 

Post Fri, Jan 13 2023, 2:03 pm
amother DarkCyan wrote:
I’m newly wed and I don’t have any kids, I’m not trying to be judgmental I only want to understand. Every time I see a post about mothers working cooking and cleaning, I wonder where are the men? I feel like because I’m not in this stage yet everyone understands something I don’t. Are the men out from 9-9?

To me, common sense would indicate that if wife works to bring in money, the housework is shared. This doesn’t seem to be the case, why?




Husband does what he can when he gets home from his 9-6 plus 1 hr commute each way.
It’s a long day so when he gets home he does the most he can.

I’m fine with the husband works, wife-keep-house system - even though I work too- because I believe in the old-fashioned values of female capabilities vs. male capabilities + my husband is the main breadwinner in our home. And he really does pitch in when I ask.
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