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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Preschoolers
What age would you allow your child to attend a sleepover?
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11% |
[ 7 ] |
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11% |
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11% |
[ 7 ] |
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24% |
[ 15 ] |
| 10+ |
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40% |
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| Total Votes : 61 |
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amother
OP
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 Tue, Jan 17 2023, 5:30 pm
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My 5 year old won’t stop begging me and I know it’s way to young. I’m just wondering what the average age most people would allow it?
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amother
Chartreuse
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 5:36 pm
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We don't allow sleepovers just because. When we need to go away, our kids stay at relatives or friends we know very well.
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amother
Almond
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 5:39 pm
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Op you’re likely going to get lots of responses that say ‘never’ which will derail this thread so consider changing your title to : I’d you allow sleepovers, what age did you start allowing it?
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amother
DarkCyan
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 5:42 pm
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 5:48 pm
| amother Almond wrote: | | Op you’re likely going to get lots of responses that say ‘never’ which will derail this thread so consider changing your title to : I’d you allow sleepovers, what age did you start allowing it? |
I’m actually interested to hear that side as well. If it’s a hard no what’s the reasoning?
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Highstrung
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 5:51 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I’m actually interested to hear that side as well. If it’s a hard no what’s the reasoning? |
People are concerned about molestation from adults or siblings in the house where the sleepover is taking place.
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amother
Chartreuse
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 5:54 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I’m actually interested to hear that side as well. If it’s a hard no what’s the reasoning? |
I don't trust homes I don't know really well. Spiritually, emotionally, physically.
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amother
Anemone
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 5:58 pm
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I let very rarely. My daughter begged me once and went to someone I knew pretty well and they gave her melatonin without permission among other things. I allow with relatives mostly.
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amother
Leaf
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 6:21 pm
My DD was probably 4 the first time she had a sleepover with her friend.
But it was not a random friend. We are 2 blocks away neighbors, had play dates 2-3x per week since they were 6 months old. The mom and I were both SAHM and did our target runs together, went to the playground together, took Gymboree together, did lunch, covered for each-other, carpooled, and the older sisters were best friends as well. The mom and I were very close. The girls cried when for eachother when we were away for YT, and used to tell their nursery morah that they were twins.
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amother
Foxglove
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 7:35 pm
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Can you invite her friend to you?
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Classicookie
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 7:39 pm
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You can do a pj party at that age let them be in pjs play a game do a craft eat snack and then sleep in there own houses
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amother
Powderblue
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 7:41 pm
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We don't do sleepovers. I didn't grow up with it & don't see the need. We do let kids stay over by friends that we know well when we need to go away (rarely) & have no other choice.
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amother
Snapdragon
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 7:57 pm
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I have 2 girls and they’ve slept over at their grandparents without me once. I’d let them do it again though. DD’s best friend down the block was begging for a sleepover so I agreed to host. She ended up going home to sleep in her own bed. So I usually shut the requests down. I don’t see the point. Maybe when they’re teens?
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amother
Almond
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 8:21 pm
These response are funny. I’d never leave my kids with friends if I were going away. Meaning I wouldn’t do it for my benefit. But I do let them
Go for sleepovers (like for a birthday) when it’s their benefit.
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amother
Brunette
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 8:26 pm
| amother Almond wrote: | These response are funny. I’d never leave my kids with friends if I were going away. Meaning I wouldn’t do it for my benefit. But I do let them
Go for sleepovers (like for a birthday) when it’s their benefit. |
Why wouldn’t you do something for your benefit? Why would it be “funny” to do so?
I’ve arranged sleepovers many times when we had an OOT wedding and would be getting home around 3am. Usually my older kids (around ages 10-12) would prefer a sleepover, rather than having a babysitter from the moment they get home from school until they wake up the next day.
And my younger kids (around age 6-8) don’t want to have a babysitter all evening when their big siblings are having sleepovers.
To answer your question OP, I let around age 6, but it depends upon the maturity of the child. And obviously only with families I feel comfortable hosting my child overnight.
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amother
Almond
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 8:33 pm
| amother Brunette wrote: | Why wouldn’t you do something for your benefit? Why would it be “funny” to do so?
I’ve arranged sleepovers many times when we had an OOT wedding and would be getting home around 3am. Usually my older kids (around ages 10-12) would prefer a sleepover, rather than having a babysitter from the moment they get home from school until they wake up the next day.
And my younger kids (around age 6-8) don’t want to have a babysitter all evening when their big siblings are having sleepovers.
To answer your question OP, I let around age 6, but it depends upon the maturity of the child. And obviously only with families I feel comfortable hosting my child overnight. |
Maybe my life is just organized differently. I don’t have OOT weddings for example. For a shabbos bar mitzvah my kids went to my parents but that’s not a sleepover. Other than that I don’t go away without them; either my parents are with them or we are. My point was that some people seem to say its ok if the parents need to be away, but Not If the purpose were social or recreational. That’s the part I disagree with
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amother
Oxfordblue
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Tue, Jan 17 2023, 8:53 pm
kids under 14
my kids sleep over by close family every time I give birth for 1-2 weeks. when we have a close relative wedding I'll leave my preschoolers sleepover at a neighbor's house.
when going on vacation (once in a few years) I'll send them to family as well .
the kids love it, their sleepover excitement is satisfied, and it's never just because. win-win
we usually 'host', a few times a year, a close family member, or neighbor for the same above-mentioned reasons.
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shabbatiscoming
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Wed, Jan 18 2023, 3:48 am
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My daughter started at 6. I loved sleep overs when I was younger. I would never not allow.
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DustyDiamonds
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Wed, Jan 18 2023, 6:11 am
| amother Almond wrote: | | Maybe my life is just organized differently. I don’t have OOT weddings for example. For a shabbos bar mitzvah my kids went to my parents but that’s not a sleepover. Other than that I don’t go away without them; either my parents are with them or we are. My point was that some people seem to say its ok if the parents need to be away, but Not If the purpose were social or recreational. That’s the part I disagree with |
I can understand that some parents believe that sleepovers are Bedi’eved, and try to allow very few, only when necessary. Just as some parents only allow junk food in moderation, only when “necessary” such as parties etc.
I believe that as frum parents, we tell our kids “no” so often, that a sleepover is wholesome and innocent fun that I allow. It goes without saying, obviously, that I only allow it with families I’m comfortable with, and if my child has a new friend where I don’t know the family well, then I allow the sleepover at my home.
We have loads of OOT simchas that are a few hours away.
My parents don’t speak to me, and even back when they did, I didn’t consider their care to be a safe environment for my kids.
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