S/O normal amount to have in the bank

amother

Gladiolus

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 3:32 pm

Trademark wrote:

There are a lot of variables. Where you live, how many children you have, if you own a home, if you have debt etc...

If you eat out a lot, pay for child care, buy convenience foods, use a lot of disposables, whether or not you have much in the way of medical expenses, how expensive is your clothing, do you travel, whether you own a car/s and what type...

Most people, if they consulted a financial expert, would find that they could cut expenses in multiple ways, but are not necessarily willing to do so.

The sums of money that young frum moms waste on disposables alone is staggering. The amount of food they waste is equally staggering. For example, I see them giving their toddler a full cup of yogurt or a whole slice of pizza when they know that kid will eat two or three mouthfuls and leave the rest. Why do this? Why not dole out a tiny portion and refill if the kid wants more? Meileh if it's planned that mom or dad will eat what the kids leave over, but this is seldom the case. Usually the leftovers go right in the trash.

Many of you will roll your eyes and think "How's that going to help when we're $20K in debt?" I have news for you: it all adds up, exactly the way eating just 100 calories more than you need every day eventually translates into 30 extra pounds around your middle. Small leaks can sink a budget the way a small leak, if not repaired, can sink an ocean liner.

Use your brains. You can't expect to dress, dine, live and be entertained the same way as someone in identical circumstances who makes triple what you do, and you shouldn't try. Accept that some people have more than you. If that means you have to work harder than they do, have less leisure and fewer material goods than they do, so be it.

Nowhere but on imamother have I seen such keeping up with the Cohens on the part of people who really can't afford to do so.

amother

Peru

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 3:51 pm

amother Gladiolus wrote:

Is this really just a young mother problem??? I’m a young mother, I hate disposables but my mil legitimately doesn’t even own dishes. My toddler actually eats full slices of pizza. I live paycheck to paycheck.

Can you make your point without degrading a literal entire generation? Especially when OP probably isn’t so young if her income is so high

amother

Clear

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 3:55 pm

to the poster who was talking about how it's due to keeping up with the jones, a large percentage of our spending is actually due to mental/medical health stuff. Therapy is expensive- I'm in counseling, marriage counseling, physical therapy, my daughter has physical therapy and the school has been encouraging me to take her to Occupational and mental health counseling which I have done in the past but currently taking a break. I've also taken a different child for pt, speech, vision, and OT at different points in time. our health insurance right now has a 16,000 deductible... you are correct that I could technically cut out all that therapy but lets just say I'm not doing any of this therapy just for fun.

eta: just got a bill from taking my dd to the pediatrician for ear infection. cost 129.51 medical stuff adds up and fast.

Plenty of people also send to schools with high tuitions not necessarily by choice but because that's what is available.

amother

DarkCyan

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 4:09 pm

amother Gladiolus wrote:

Our salary is almost as much as OP (not there yet). My clothes is almost exclusively bought from a used store. My children’s clothing isn’t bought at Jewish expensive stores either. I don’t get manicures and I do my wigs myself. I don’t buy furniture or home decor, just what we have from when we got married many years ago.
And we don’t have enough to put away in savings.

Yes, I can scrimp and save more. Have macaroni and beans for supper. I don’t do that now. I do use disposables.

But I wouldn’t say I’m keeping up with the Joneses.

amother

Amaryllis

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 4:55 pm

[quote="amother Gladiolus"]If you eat out a lot, pay for child care, buy convenience foods, use a lot of disposables, whether or not you have much in the way of medical expenses, how expensive is your clothing, do you travel, whether you own a car/s and what type...

Most people, if they consulted a financial expert, would find that they could cut expenses in multiple ways, but are not necessarily willing to do so.

The sums of money that young frum moms waste on disposables alone is staggering. The amount of food they waste is equally staggering. For example, I see them giving their toddler a full cup of yogurt or a whole slice of pizza when they know that kid will eat two or three mouthfuls and leave the rest. Why do this? Why not dole out a tiny portion and refill if the kid wants more? Meileh if it's planned that mom or dad will eat what the kids leave over, but this is seldom the case. Usually the leftovers go right in the trash.

Many of you will roll your eyes and think "How's that going to help when we're $20K in debt?" I have news for you: it all adds up, exactly the way eating just 100 calories more than you need every day eventually translates into 30 extra pounds around your middle. Small leaks can sink a budget the way a small leak, if not repaired, can sink an ocean liner.

Use your brains. You can't expect to dress, dine, live and be entertained the same way as someone in identical circumstances who makes triple what you do, and you shouldn't try. Accept that some people have more than you. If that means you have to work harder than they do, have less leisure and fewer material goods than they do, so be it.

Nowhere but on imamother have I seen such keeping up with the Cohens on the part of people who really can't afford to do so.

wow ! Totally uncalled for. Im a young mother and let me tell you the amount if sacrificing Ive done since I got married 3 years ago. 1 wig since I got married, I maybe ate out 3 times in 3 years, ive gotten 1 manicure in 3 years, had cleaning help once and went shopping once . You are really ASSUMING and to come for young people and say thats the reason they have no money.. stop it please. you dont know people or their habits

amother

Mocha

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 4:59 pm

amother Viola wrote:

There's nothing wrong with you. Frum life combined with inflation, makes it basically impossible for middle class families to put money towards savings.

Difficult, but not impossible.

My husband and I are making about 210k. We have 5 kids, preschool to highschool.

No cleaning help, very modest clothing, food, vacations, some tuition breaks (with full disclosure re: income, spending). Very little on luxury items, so no lattes, minimal eating out, free entertainment and trips. I'm wearing the same wigs I got married in. We drive really old cars and maintain them maticulously. Bake my own bread. You get the picture.

We're saving about 30k a year. Some is in a Roth IRA that's being matched by my employer, some is earmarked for simchos and house repairs.

It's doable if it's a priority for you.

amother

Amaryllis

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 5:00 pm

And for all you people that want to judge the next person and think you know their spending habits and saying thats the reason why they cant save have it ever occurred to you that just maybe while food and everything else is going up in price most jobs are not paying more to match up to inflation. people are genuinely doing their best and do not have ridiculous lifestyles or not trying to keep up with the Joneses. People are simply trying to survive. Stop thinking you know everything and give some support and a kind word or advice if you can.

amother

Brown

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 8:00 pm

amother Amaryllis wrote:

True but this has been an issue before inflation too… maybe it’s more ppl now. But it’s not only new.