Remember me? Bathroom with Bar Mitzvah funds

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 1:20 pm

I don't remember where my other post was but I had posted here asking for help doing a bathroom remodeling on a very tight budget because we had to redo the bathroom emergency and were using all the bar mitzvah savings.
Now I have both crazy good news and a dilemma.
We redid the bathroom very simply and were able to keep to the budget, doing most things cheapest cheapest. We are at the end of the project and the money.
Tonight is my husband's birthday and this person who my husband learns with and gives advice to called him up to wish him happy birthday and said he heard from the grapevine that we urgently needed to redo a bathroom but he knows we don't have the money. He asked my husband what the contractors quote was and then said thats a good price, I'll pay for it, on condition that my husband gets a nice tub for his bad back.

Neither me or my husband had any idea this man has money. They've known each other from childhood. He was in such shock he mumbled lots of brochos and got off the phone. I'm shaking from shock but here are my questions.
1) do we accept this gift?
2) he didn't realize that we already did most of the work. The bathtub actually cannot be replaced at this point and it's a really basic shallow builders grade tub. What do we do about that?

amother

Dill

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 1:23 pm

Now that he is paying it up, how much would a change order cost? May still add up to work

amother

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 1:29 pm

amother Dill wrote:

Now that he is paying it up, how much would a change order cost? May still add up to work

Everything is finished except the light fixtures and the toilet.

amother

DarkCyan

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 1:33 pm

Wow, what a special gift! It sounds like the offer is genuine and would be a big help for you, I would get back to the man who offered and say "thank you! we'd love to accept but we cannot meet that condition for at this point the tub is already in and can not be replaced" I imagine, his offer will still hold Smile

seeker

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 1:59 pm

Ask the contractor how much it would cost to switch the tub at this point, just so you have all the info available. Has your husband's doctor/therapist recommended baths for his back?

mha3484

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 2:02 pm

If you told him that was your bar mitzvah money would he still give it to you?

amother

Ecru

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 2:03 pm

Can you add something into the tub that will help your husband?

So nice! What hashgacha... Hashem is really taking care of you! Heart

amother

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 2:19 pm

My husband enjoys baths, he says it helps his back. It's not like a doctor's orders kind of thing.
My husband told him about the bar mitzvah fund money and that he was not going into debt for the bathroom.
My husband also feels that redoing the bathtub would be a huge waste of money if it's even possible (I mean anything is technically possible but it would practically mean redoing most of the work).
He really would love a huge bathtub. There isn't room for a huge one but a deeper one would of been really nice.
It sounded to me like the man didn't know that we had already done most of the project. That part makes me a bit uncomfortable.

imasinger

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 2:23 pm

How special!

If it's not practical to replace the tub, can you see what else might help DH and be useful instead? An ergonomic or massaging chair? A few sessions with a masseur?

snailmail

Thu, Jan 19 2023, 2:27 pm

I would tell him the truth. You took the Bar Mitzva savings money (X amount) & spent it on bathroom - which is almost complete with shallow tub, but you are still Y short for bathroom & will need Z for bar mitzva. Let him offer what he wants to do with that. If he says sure I'll pay to rip out bathtub & install a soaking tub, or maybe finances are difficult for him too & he will just gift you remaining expenses.

amother

Fri, Jan 20 2023, 8:00 am

Update:
My husband told him the truth, both that we already almost finished and that the bathtub is standard size. The man said "have them redo it, I'm paying for it and I want it to have a soaking tub for you".
Anyone do something like this? Will the contractor up and run?
I've literally never had anyone pay for anything for us so I'm not used to this idea at all.

seeker

Fri, Jan 20 2023, 8:33 am

Wow. Thanks for the update, I was curious! That's so special of the friend

justforfun87

Fri, Jan 20 2023, 8:55 am

They will gladly take your money! What a special gift for you from Hashem.

justforfun87

Fri, Jan 20 2023, 8:56 am

I would just be a bit worried that he might change his mind so maybe have him deal with contractor directly? Is this man a big talker?

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