Beautiful tribute in family first - mrs Zlotowitz but

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amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 4:59 am

this sentence bothered me

Asked one time how she was always so upbeat, Mrs. Zlotowitz responded, “Tell Hashem you had such a bad day, and He’ll say, ‘I’ll show you what a bad day really looks like.’ Instead, tell Hashem you had such a good day, and He’ll tell you, ‘I’ll show you what a good day really looks like.’ ”

I am reading so much about connecting to hashem and we should tell him whatever bothers us down to the smallest detail. all our troubles. he wants to hear from us. he is our father.

this has thrown me off now.?

amother

Trillium

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 5:01 am

I felt the exact same way!

amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 5:02 am

amother Trillium wrote:

I felt the exact same way!

thanks!

so my feelings are normal!

amother

Ecru

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 5:07 am

amother OP wrote:

(Did not read article.)

General yesod for life:
This is her approach. It does not mean everyone agrees. If you hear something nice and it resonates, research it further and see if you'd like to incorporate it.
If it does not make sense with what you have heard in the past and does not resonate with you, let it go.
People's views don't need to cause upheaval in your life and hashkofa.

amother

Grape

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 5:54 am

We tend to complain that biographies sanitize the lives of our leaders. But then when a biography shares something that is slightly controversial or a product of its time, we have crises of faith.

Take it as it was meant to be taken: we can learn the power of posivity and how how powerful it is to thank Hashem. Let go of the half sentence that doesn't sit well with you and focus on the second half of the sentence.

taketwo

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 5:57 am

That sentence bothers me too. It sounds like being avoidant and not allowing ourselves to feel our sad emotions. It's not the first time I've seen this kind of inspiration that doesn't sound emotionally healthy. 😕

amother

Kiwi

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 5:58 am

I felt so inspired. I cried through the whole article. She was truly a wonderful woman. I guess I didn't think so much into that line but I thought it was a WOW moment!

amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 6:24 am

taketwo wrote:

I have questions all the time with these types of things and criticise myself why I have to read into
things and be so mixed up all the time...

amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 6:26 am

amother Kiwi wrote:

I felt so inspired. I cried through the whole article. She was truly a wonderful woman. I guess I didn't think so much into that line but I thought it was a WOW moment!

it was an amazing amazing article. thats why I wrote beautiful tribute - didnt want to really criticise it when I came away with so much. I just had a question on this - like is this the right way or what I thought till now. wasnt really condemning it and making it wrong. it bothered me if its true or not.

amother

Carnation

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 6:30 am

So interesting to read your prospective on that sentence, because when I read it, it resonated with me. I thought, ‘nice’.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 6:47 am

amother OP wrote:

Read many posts above.

There is no one right way.

I'll say that again: there is no one right way.

There can be wrong ways, but there is no ONE right way.

This can be true for her without being true for you. What you wrote as your hashkafa seems to be a standard approach so no problems with you. I think you can remain confident in following the path you are on if it works for you.

amother

Stoneblue

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:07 am

I actually love that line! its just bringing out a point how positivity really changes everything. I try to be like that it really really helps!

amother

Acacia

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:12 am

Just so you know you're not alone, I was also taken aback at that line. To me, it came across as portraying G-d to punish you when you dare to complain. It really really didn't resonate with me. But still, it was a nice article and she certainly sounded like a very special person. To each their own. That's what helped her to get through her challenges, but its not what will help me and that's ok.

amother

Burlywood

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:17 am

Mrs zlotowitz was my grandmother and I loved the article. I honestly never heard her say that line but do understand where you are coming from. she was such an amazing person and I miss her so much...

amother

Darkblue

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 11:25 am

That sentence also made me pause.

mammale

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 11:40 am

I think both are true. I don't see a contradiction.
We can and should pour out our hearts to Hashem and ask him to make things better for us. For small things for big things - we should turn to hashem.
At the same time, it is powerful to note the huge impact of positivity. The way we think (whether negstive or positive) really does impact our reality.

amother

Razzmatazz

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 11:52 am

There is such a concept.
When the yidden complained about EY after the meraglim Hashem said “Today you cried for nothing; in the future I'll give you a real reason to cry.” (Talmud - Ta'anit 29a) and that is why tisha b'av has been a sad day ever since.

Think about it if you have a child that is very critical and finds fault with every gift or special thing you do for them you become less inclined to keep giving. You know there will be inevitable complaints anyway.

This doen't mean that we can't talk to Hashem and share our struggles but rather also express your hakaras hatov for all that you do have.

amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 12:00 pm

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

thats why we say hashem is diff.

whereas a human parent gets fed up with critical whining child hashem waits for us to cry to him and loves hen we nudge him again and again. he never gets fed up and even tests us so we cry to him and come closer.

regarding the meraglim.

question has been plaguing me for years

like how do I know if I am crying to hashem for nothing?
people have worse so is it considered nothing?
then we hear and read nothing is too small for hashem
even if people have worse - you according to your level are having it hard where others would envy
but hashem still wants to hear? completely confused...

amother

Blueberry

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 12:05 pm

I didn't have a problem with it. It sounds very much like the sort of line that was said when I was growing up, by teachers & rabbanim.
It was a product of a certain time and it resonated with us or at least didn't turn us off. Nowadays, I don't think it's a line that "goes" but for that time, it was par for the course. We turned out ok Cool

There were other things that teachers said that bothered me at the time, but this type of line didn't. Every generation is a bit different with what speaks to them and what turns them off.

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