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NechaMom
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 Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:16 am
| amother OP wrote: | My DH has no practical sense for taking care of a baby at all. I do 99.9% of the childcare. Today I was taking a nap with her and he comes in and wakes me up and says he’s taking the baby to target with him. He also claims she doesn’t need to nap and that every time she’s napping I’m just forcing her to nap because I’m tired. He runs out the door before I fully wake up. I had a bad feeling (because I say her coat still hanging up) so I called to see what she was wearing. He is convinced a wool sweater is better than a coat . Turns out he left without socks on her in 30 degree weather, because he said he is just going from the car to the store. No coat. No socks . I am absolutely livid.
My mother keeps telling me I will lose the baby because someone will report us to CPS . I tell him things all the time but it’s like he doesn’t listen and I can’t trust him with the baby at all. The threats that I am going to lose the baby are making me crazy, I already work full time and do all the parenting. There is literally nothing else I can do, especially as my husband doesn’t listen to me
Rant over |
How old is your baby?
I vote he definitely should’ve put on a coat and socks in 30 degrees weather!
It’s winter out!
Seems like you’re having some contradicting opinions regarding childcare and your mom’s comments are not helping things.
Would you both be open to getting guidance from a parenting expert?
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BrisketBoss
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Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:36 am
| amother Cerulean wrote: | Maybe I'm the exception, but in my marriage my husband and his mother are the overly careful ones and I'm not. They think I'm nuts that I let babies climb, allow them to self feed as soon as they start eating solids, and let them play in the dirt and eat a lot of it too. I've even occasionally woken up babies in order to run errands or visit people. I'm sure lots of women would say that I'm neglectful and maybe I actually have made mistakes that would have been avoided if I was more cautious like them. That doesn't mean that I'm not to be trusted.
I wish my husband and mil would understand that there's not one perfect way to parent and that I know what I'm doing. There are also real drawbacks to being overly cautious. |
Yup I was also never the cautious first time mother.
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BrisketBoss
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Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:01 pm
| amother Cantaloupe wrote: | Whats wrong with some of the replies here?? Yes you and your mother have every right to be concerned. Your poor baby DOES need a coat and socks going out in the winter! The baby cant put one on by herself, major neglect in my opinion. And whats up with waking the baby to take her shopping??
I would drag him to a therapy session together. |
Meh. It sounds like the baby was wearing a wool sweater, was being held, and was only out in the cold for like a minute. In 30 degrees. Really not a big deal, whether a mom or a dad does it.
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Hashem_Yaazor
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Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:02 pm
A wool sweater in a heated car and heated store is just fine instead of a coat. I don't use coats for babies in car seats.
Socks I would have done but it's not the end of the world... Baby came home safe and sound. It was a minor health risk, not a major safety issue or negligence.
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BrisketBoss
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Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:15 pm
| amother Banana wrote: | | I’m one of those paranoid moms but in the car I don’t wear a coat as long as we keep the heat running. I definitely do put it on when leaving the car and would also be very upset if my husband would do this. The question though is why did he wake up a baby for this? Also the op said he is never around to do childcare so it seems part of the resentment stems from that. |
Yes, the concerning part for me also is waking up the baby, not helping, and making weird comments about normal things OP does (naps for baby!). Not a great dynamic.
Babies, in particular newborns, have less mature circulation but I am sure this kiddo was not in mortal danger from the epic Trip To Car Without Socks.
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Phoebe31
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Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:17 pm
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Baby should not be wearing a coat in the car anyways, quick in and out of the store a sweater is plenty
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writinggirl
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Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:19 pm
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Everyone here is getting so hung up on this one story, but it seems from the post that this is not an isolated incident. OP, has your husband done other impulsive things with the baby against your will?
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