My 10 year old son wants really expensive sneakers

amother

Anemone

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 5:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

So we were there until this point …
He so so badly wants them I’m trying to work out something with him. At first I told him absolutely not.. I’m so not a spender!m But I realized I should ask around for perspective because I don’t know boys needs as well as I know girls at this stage.

If you ask here you will get a wide range of responses. If you can afford it and think it's important for him to have them, have him earn them and let him realize this is a special treat and they are expensive. No need for him to think it's normal. But I think it's ok to occasionally give kids things that they really want.

I'm just curious where people who think $100+ sneakers is normal live.

amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 5:01 pm

amother Brickred wrote:

Seriously. I've never even spent $40 on my kids shoes. Oldest is $10. My husband's shoes are $75 tops. Mine are usually $25-30.

OP, if you can easily afford them and you want to spend the money, go ahead, but it really sounds insanely expensive and I can't understand how so many think it's normal.

Do your kids care about what their sneakers look like? Not all kids do…. No I can’t easily easily afford them although nothing will happen if I. Make this purchase.. I need to work it out/weigh things out bec he is really really wanting them.

Moonlight

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:26 pm

amother Brickred wrote:

This. Totally

amother

Amethyst

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:38 pm

I wouldn’t spend money you don’t have, especially on shoe’s which a kid can grow out of before they wear out.
The most I have ever spent on shoes is probably in the $50 range but that’s only for me as an adult with very hard to fit feet and only New Balance is wide enough.
For my kids I typically buy Walmart brand in $10-$25 a pair.

amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:42 pm

amother Amethyst wrote:

I can’t get away with Walmart shoes. I need to be realistic… that just wouldn’t fly for this kid..

amother

Tomato

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

I can’t get away with Walmart shoes. I need to be realistic… that just wouldn’t fly for this kid..

There is a balance between $150 shoes and walmart shoes.

amother

Almond

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

I can’t get away with Walmart shoes. I need to be realistic… that just wouldn’t fly for this kid..

So glad you understand your kid. And there are all kinds of needs. I have a kid who couldn't care less about brands, but has ankles that sprain majorly easily. So he needs the top quality sneakers with extra support.

amother

Orchid

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:49 pm

So my take is $150 is a lot
$100 was high but on the more realistic side

Did you shop around
Is this something you can get at a outlet store
If you post the pair and size I can look around for you, on-line

Is there any way you can line him the money and he can slowly pay you back
Pesach is coming soon and he could vacuum and wash cars
Also does he have bday, Chanukah money

amother

Eggplant

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:53 pm

I’m not sure where u live but I live in Lakewood, not super yeshivish, just regular.
My son has Nike sneakers and that’s what he asked for. I spend approx $50. I think most boys in his class wear Nike.
I’m super curious to know the brand your son wants you to buy! Please share

amother

Mistyrose

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 7:53 pm

I get my boys these kind of sneakers, but I will say, they usually hold up very well so it’s money spent well for me. They’re solid supportive shoes for kids running around all day and doing a lot of sports..
The Jewish stores school shoes for the girls and babies are over $100 too.. I only have boys, there is so little they ask for, tiros and nice sneakers.. otherwise they wear the same pair of pants and the same shirt every single day, I’m happy to get them the sneakers they want!

amother

Hyacinth

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 8:15 pm

I would work it out with him. As adults when we really want something we usually find a way to make it work. I would teach him that skill.
Maybe this is more important for him than other things that you get him. Maybe he would forgo other treats that you get him and put it towards this instead.

I remember as a kid wanting certain knapsacks or shoes becasue it was chic or cool and didn't have the guts to ask my mom. Then she would take us out and treat us. For example to ice cream, or a day in Manhattan, or other buy me a necklace. Although very appreciated, I had other ideas where I would have rather have money for. Not that my mom had to give me that choice, I'm just trying to explain the concept...

amother

Brickred

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 8:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

My 10 yo is the only kid who cares so far. I usually pick a few styles within our budget, and let him choose from that. Lately it's been mostly New Balance, Skechers, or Pumas. I also try to buy the next size up if I find a sale.

Maybe he can earn the difference between what you would normally pay and what he wants.

I know it's so hard as they get bigger the shoes get so much more expensive and the kids get pickier. When they were little I could get cheap target shoes because they would outrgrow them before they wore them out, but that doesn't last long.

amother

Junglegreen

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:19 pm

I just bought new balance on zappos for $35. My daughter is 9. Solid sneakers with colors she likes. I wouldn't spend more than 50 on shoes for a growing kid. End of discussion. But I don't know your kid or his needs. My oldest is almost bas mitzva and on the spectrum. If she asked for something I might consider it if it helped her socially. But not to be cool.

amother

Watermelon

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:28 pm

When I was a kid, every August my mother would take me and my siblings from Flatbush to Tescher's in Boro Park for a new pair of school shoes (and I think shabbos shoes). It was crazy crowded. There were long waits to be fitted. I would leave with a pair of solid patent leather shoes, that would last me most or all of the school year, and I was the type of kid who was hard on my shoes.

My best friend had all the cool colorful shoes you saw in the window from Payless. It also seemed like she got a new pair every two months. Lucky her! I used to beg my mother to buy me cool shoes from payless. She refused. Finally one time when I was like in sixth or seventh grade, she let me buy a pair. I put it on. It wasn't comfortable after twenty minutes. It broke within a few weeks. We went back to Teschers. I never asked her again.

The request is kind of reminding me of this. Sometimes it's worth it to pay more one time than to make five shopping trips over the year. (Although not sure how expensive you need to go.)

amother

Iris

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:37 pm

What type of environment is he in? If his whole
Class is wearing it & he’s the only one- that’s not fair to him. But you could
Explain that you are going out of your way because your proud of his accomplishments etc.. another alternative is making sure your other children( if you can’t change his situation) are in environments that don’t require expensive items. It isn’t right to put the child in a situation where they are different & stand out frim the rest….

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:38 pm

amother Aqua wrote:

I spend 170 dollars for mine. I workout and I need good shoes

I spend a lot on my shoes. But I’m not growing and try to walk a lot and the good quality shoes last much longer and are kinder to my feet.