My 10 year old son wants really expensive sneakers

Fabulous

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:40 pm

NotInNJMommy wrote:

True!

And what's worse is the couple years they grow out of their size within a couple months! I think in less than two years, my son went from a size 6-7 (which was a super hard size to find tbh) to a size 11.5 mens! (but thankfully, then they are done usually with their feet growing!) I was having to get rid of shoes with barely any wear on them!

Yup my 13 yo ds just had me order new ones- size 11. The ones we ordered after sukkos are too small already. He actually was quite mature about it bec he has expensive taste but even he acknowledges that it’s ridiculous to spend so much when we literally have to buy new ones every 3-6 months. So he searches for something he likes that is under $100.

Fabulous

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:42 pm

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

I life in Lkwd, have never spent more than about $50 on boys sneakers. They wear under armour or adidas usually.

Within those brands there is a range and many kids know and care which ones are the “cooler” ones

amother

Ultramarine

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 9:49 pm

My kid wears out his sneakers every 2-3 months. No way would I get him an $100 pair. Not spending $600/year on sneakers for anybody, let alone a 10 year old.

amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 10:28 pm

Thanks all. We realized throughout our discussions with him today that this felt very very important to him. I found a pair on sale and worked out with him that it was going to be an “upgrade” so he’s contributing in a way we worked out. I also said not to expect this every time he needs sneakers but I’m a hit worrried that this will higher his standards, but I’ll cross that bridge when we get there. He’s a great kid and doesn’t ask for tons but does notice nice things and have a cheishek. I’m trying to keep a balance. Until now we bought underarmour cheaper Nikes just like everyone is suggesting.. I guess

amother

Orchid

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 12:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

Give him a reasonable budget and let him put in the rest.
Let him know this from now so that he knows he needs to save his money.
With inflation and everything about $75 is reasonable, IMHO

Op can you share with us which sneakers they were

amother

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 3:09 pm

amother Orchid wrote:

Yes like I said I explained this was an upgrade.
After thinking it through and discussing with my husband and him we came to a conclusion we all were good with. Thanks to all for your perspectives. Sorry I don’t feel comf saying exactly which sneakers they are.

amother

Freesia

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:41 pm

amother Brickred wrote:

Seriously. I've never even spent $40 on my kids shoes. Oldest is $10. My husband's shoes are $75 tops. Mine are usually $25-30.

OP, if you can easily afford them and you want to spend the money, go ahead, but it really sounds insanely expensive and I can't understand how so many think it's normal.

Bh for good healthy feet! I'd be in a wheelchair with $40 shoes. Quality shoes is not necessarily a luxury.

With kids shoes too, I've never gotten a cheap kids shoe that was worth the cheap price. Either they're not comfortable to wear or they're completely gone in less than a couple of months. & they sweat ( if pleather) or stink ( if fabrick/ mesh).

amother

Freesia

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 7:47 pm

amother Ultramarine wrote:

My kid wears out his sneakers every 2-3 months. No way would I get him an $100 pair. Not spending $600/year on sneakers for anybody, let alone a 10 year old.

It's likely a more expensive brand would last a lot longer & may come out cheaper in the long run

Have you tried geox? They can last up to 9- 10 months or more & are $60-$80.

amother

NeonYellow

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 10:57 am

We buy Saucony and similar stuff in the $50-60 range til they're teens with feet that don't grow as fast and fancier taste. We can afford more but seriously, I would never waste such money.

These are not payless junk shoes and anyone who thinks they need $150 shoes for a child is just wrong. I understand the argument about them expressing themselves with a strict dress code, so if that's the reasoning, go for it if you can afford it. But there's nothing wrong with these for a 10 yr old:

https://www.zappos.com/p/sauco.....D_BwE

amother

Nasturtium

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 11:09 am

It really depends what size a 10 year old can be kids size or even at an adult size. My 13 year old dd wears sneakers and wears though them usually before outgrown. ( now she’s one size not growing) Taking her To Skechers can cost and 75-90 One time there was a sale I bought two pairs so 1 riped we had a second . recently we were at a random sneaker store at a mall and the shoes were brand name but cheaper you might need to look around. My outher daughter got high top vans they were $75 . I don’t know much about boy shoes but find a brand he likes and look around online
I don’t like spending to much on toddlers shoes but big kids are different .

amother

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 10:24 pm

amother NeonYellow wrote:

That’s nice for you to say there’s nothing wrong with these lol. But they would never ever fly for my son in our circles. It’s important to be realistic about where you live and what is accepted. Not saying that means 150$ sneakers every time, there can be a middle ground but like I said anyways.. I was trying to figure out navigating this specific circumstance.

wifeandmore

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 4:49 am

amother Brickred wrote:

This. I've never spent more than 45 (including for a son this age)

I'm wondering where this is the norm.

amother

Vanilla

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 5:25 am

My 12 yo daughter came home asking for adidas sneakers like all her friends, my first knee jerk reaction was to say no because it was unnecessary but then I found a whole bunch of options on amazon for around $20-$30 and realized that it's important to have some of the things to fit in, but not all. I took the opportunity to have a discussion about how it's fun to have some of the "in" things but also important not to be a slave to it and also sometimes good to do your own thing .. we picked out one of the sneakers and she was so happy and thrilled and wears them all the time

DrMom

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 8:30 am

If your son wears adult sizes, then $100 a pair is not unreasonable, but you can probably find less expensive options. If he uses them heavily or plays a sport seriously then it is reasonable.

If he is still in kids' sizes, then I think $100 is excessive.

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 8:39 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm confused by your response. You asked if it's normal . No, it's not normal. I live in Teaneck for reference, if that matters. People do a wide variety of things where I live. But if you're going to spend whatever you need to to fit in to your narrow circle, then there's no point of this thread. Go buy them, even if they cost $200, right?

PinkFridge

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 8:41 am

amother OP wrote:

So we were there until this point …
He so so badly wants them I’m trying to work out something with him. At first I told him absolutely not.. I’m so not a spender!m But I realized I should ask around for perspective because I don’t know boys needs as well as I know girls at this stage.

I've only read page 1.
There's an relevant fiction story in last week's Binah by Sarah Wiederblank.
This is complicated. It's long been conventional wisdom that kids enjoy having what's "in" and that's it's not healthy for them to be nebby. But it used to be possible to get that one much cheaper than now "in" piece a season, or maybe 2, and make a kid happy.
Now, though, if a kid isn't "perfect" people might perceive them as socially off.
This is the time to have some IRL mentorship, who will help you keep it real, raise a healthy, resilient child, but also one who doesn't feel like an iconoclast.
Hatzlacha!

amother

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 9:50 am

amother NeonYellow wrote:

I wasn’t asking if it’s normal bec yeah normal is relative. I was asking for perspectives and would assume if this has zero relevance to you and u have zero concept of boys asking for these things then you wouldn’t have so much to contribute. But of course everyone is welcome to respond.. I just don’t like the absolutes of “these sneakers are totally fine for a ten year old”

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:04 am

Honestly I do think it’s a lot of money, but I don’t think I have ever bought any of my kids a pair of shoes for under $100. Maybe $80 on sale…
It’s crazy, but in my neighborhood, where my peers are wearing $800 shoes, I feel like the odd one out in my $200 Tory Burch shoes. Imagine, those are cheap here🙈

I bH don’t mind, and I have no problem farginning but to put it in perspective, it’s not a lot for shoes, but it is a lot of money. Does that make sense?

camp123

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 12:42 pm

I'm still trying to figure out what kind of kids sneakers cost 200 dollars? Are they made with better technology, do they last longer. Or is this purely a fashion thing?

Imo
if less than 20% in his class have these expensive sneakers you shouldn't buy them bc you are unnecessarily upping the standards. Teanagers need to fit in and so buying them affects your whole society.

If more than 50% of the class has them you should probably buy them.

If more than 75% of the class have them you should definitely buy them.

PinkFridge

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 12:46 pm

camp123 wrote:

Your heart's in the right place, but he's 10. Where is this going to end?
She needs some IRL hadracha.