What happens if I don't toilet train my kid?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:17 pm

It's my seventh kid.
All of other kids were trained well before age 3. My current baby is now 3 already. I'm 44 yeard old. I'm just tired and have no patience.
I don't think he's gonna walk down to the chuppa in diapers.
If I just leave it alone, won't he train himself at some point?

(He knows how to do it. He asks sometimes to be put on the toilet before getting into the bath and he goes right away. But having him in underwear all day is another story.)

amother

Phlox

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:19 pm

He won't get into school until you deal with it.
Hire someone.

amother

Magenta

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:19 pm

Maybe pay someone or get your husband to help?
If he is not interested then maybe wait a bit longer.

amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:22 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

He won't get into school until you deal with it.
Hire someone.

He is currently in a playgroup and the oldest by far. (I kept him there because he has severe allergies and I wasn't ready to deal with him going to a real school. ) So none of the other kids are toilet trained AFAIK.
What do u mean hire someone? What type of person does this as a job?

amother

Phlox

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

https://www.nycpottytraining.com/

amother

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:27 pm

Hmm. I don't live in NYC or anywhere close.
But maybe I can Google and see if something similar exists in my area.

amother

Rainbow

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:30 pm

Did you try leaving him naked? Maybe he’ll train easily. Leave him naked for 3 days and see what happens. Are your older kids interested in helping him go to the bathroom? You can make it a family project.

amother

Tiffanyblue

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:36 pm

My son had no interest in being trained. When he was 3yr 8mos old, I told him I'm putting him on underwear. He didn't protest so I went ahead with it. I put them on and he basically trained himself that day. He had 1 accident.

amother

Outerspace

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:36 pm

It depends what you mean by ‘at some point.’ My neighbor felt like you did and her child finally showed interest and trained at 4.5.

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:40 pm

When was he 3?

Yes, I beleive they will.

I started training my 3 year old when he was nearly 3 and gave up after 4 days.

He is now just over 3 and he has initiated it.
I havent put u.wear on him yet, just pull ups and I do plan on doing it all the way, but am slowly getting him used to it first.

Now, he has the option to go when he wants, and if he doesnt, he wont have an accident.

I have till Sept, because the school he goes to, you join the september after they turn 3.

But I really beleive a child will get it.
Not saying you dont have to put in any effort at all, but, if you have time, definitely dont pressure yourself to do it all in 1 go.

amother

Butterscotch

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:48 pm

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

Similar. One day I told my kid "tomorrow theres no more diapers. Here are the underwear you'll wear once you make 3 pishes in the potty or toilet." She was potty trained before the next morning.

amother

Zinnia

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:52 pm

amother Rainbow wrote:

I second this. That's the way to go. If you leave him naked for 3 days at home he will train himself. Once he is half trained you can send him to playgroup and they will help you. So you are only busy with it from when he comes home until he goes to sleep. When he comes home keep him naked until he goes to sleep.

amother

Arcticblue

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:55 pm

Please don't leave him naked!! He will feel so open and not comfortable. IMO.

amother

Rainbow

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:56 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Please don't leave him naked!! He will feel so open and not comfortable. IMO.

This is a common training method and works for 99% of kids. Don’t project your insecurities on children.

amother

Zinnia

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 3:58 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Please don't leave him naked!! He will feel so open and not comfortable. IMO.

He can wear a long T shirt to cover himself.
That's more for people around who are watching. The child himself usually doesn't care at that age.

amother

Arcticblue

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 4:00 pm

There's a reason we don't go around outside naked because our privates are meant to be private. Not exposed. Walking around a house naked and exposed does not teach healthy body safety. Don't assume I have body insecurities. Sheesh.

amother

NeonPink

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 4:05 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

Do you have three year olds? Every single toddler I ever knew did not give a hoot about their privates. Obviously you can give them a long tshirt but it’s not because they feel uncomfortable and exposed.

amother

Arcticblue

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 4:06 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

Kids shouldn't be walking around naked. It's the message your teaching them. But you do you.

amother

Rainbow

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 4:07 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

This is laughable. Most kids happily run around naked at home. Unless of course parents yell at them and make them feel terrible for doing it. It’s natural for toddlers to feel inhibited and fine being naked. Unless we break them.

amother

Zinnia

Sun, Jan 22 2023, 4:11 pm

amother Arcticblue wrote:

A kid in diapers usually naturally doesn't make on the floor. They wait until they are wearing the diaper to make. (Besides for when they are newborns.) When you have a kid who already understands the concept of making in the toilet (and that sounds like OPs child) the easiest and fastest way to train is by leaving them naked from bottom down. That's because they just need something to remind them not to make in the diaper out of habit. If they are not wearing anything, they will hold it in even if they are distracted and playing. They will remember much more easily that they need to make in the toilet. It's sort of like muscle memory. If they wear something they automatically make in it because they are used to doing it that way. They are not used to making on the floor so they won't do that so fast.
This method is easier on the mother and the child. Kids this age love running around naked. I don't think it teaches anything negative to the child.

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