Who do I choose, me or my child? Updated

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:53 am

My office is taking us on trip. It was scheduled months in advance. One of my kids is having a performance that day. I only found out about the performance last week. I really want to go to the trip. It is our once a year day of fun. My child said fine but I know secretly wishes I would say, skip the trip and come to the performance.

WWYD?

hodeez

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:54 am

Million percent go to the performance

yiddishmom

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:55 am

Performance!

It's hard tho, I'm sorry you'll miss your fun day.

singleagain

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:56 am

As a kid I remember every single time my parents moved heaven and earth to be at something I was doing or even just bc I wanted.

They even missed the last shabbat before a neighbor moved bc I misunderstood something and wanted them to come to my camp for a shabbat.

amother

Garnet

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:57 am

In this case , your child. Then schedule your own day of fun for yourself , for a different time.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:59 am

Oooh!! This one's a toughie!!
It'll mean the world to your child if you stay behind.
Maybe treat yourself or splurge on something to make up for the trip.

amother

Cyclamen

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:00 am

it’s not a question in my opinion. You choose your child’s performance
But I do want to give you some empathy here.. your a person too and im sure you were looking forward .

tichellady

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:00 am

I don't think there's an obvious answer here. you are allowed to prioritize yourself. you know your needs and your kids needs better than we do.

giftedmom

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:00 am

How much will you even enjoy the trip knowing you’re missing your child’s performance? If you knew you wouldn’t get another chance to do either which would you choose?

octopus

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:01 am

As hard as it is, kid's performance. It's just one of the mom jobs you gotta do.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:02 am

It is awful to give that up but as a child being the only without a parent there is devastating

amother

Floralwhite

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:03 am

The child's performance, 100%. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself knowing that I'm missing a child's performance. It's very painful for a child to perform when her mom isn't there.
It's hard, but part of being a mom.

amother

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:03 am

Does it make a difference if it is for a high schooler and not a younger kid?

amother

Floralwhite

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Does it make a difference if it is for a high schooler and not a younger kid?

Not for me. I would expect mom to be the adult in the situation and not expect her daughter to be the adult. It's very hard, but I think it's the right thing to do.

NotInNJMommy

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:07 am

Can you do both? Ie have someone record or FaceTime /zoom the performance while you’re on the trip?

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:08 am

Go to the performance and enjoy the rest of the day off to yourself.

amother

Cherry

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:08 am

amother OP wrote:

Does it make a difference if it is for a high schooler and not a younger kid?

Even more so! A high school girl will have put more effort and thought into her performance. Please go to the performance! Then take a trip with your husband

amother

Lemon

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:10 am

amother OP wrote:

Does it make a difference if it is for a high schooler and not a younger kid?

Yes, it’s even more important to be there for a teen. Younger kids forget and forgive easier.

amother

Mauve

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:13 am

Go to the performance and then go do something fun with your daughter
If she rather go with friends then treat yourself to a massage mani pedi lunch coffee
Anything at all

Shoshana Rose

Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:14 am

my you can attend major rehersal?

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