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Who do I choose, me or my child? Updated
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:53 am
My office is taking us on trip. It was scheduled months in advance. One of my kids is having a performance that day. I only found out about the performance last week. I really want to go to the trip. It is our once a year day of fun. My child said fine but I know secretly wishes I would say, skip the trip and come to the performance.

WWYD?
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hodeez




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:54 am
Million percent go to the performance
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yiddishmom




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:55 am
Performance!

It's hard tho, I'm sorry you'll miss your fun day.
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singleagain




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:56 am
As a kid I remember every single time my parents moved heaven and earth to be at something I was doing or even just bc I wanted.

They even missed the last shabbat before a neighbor moved bc I misunderstood something and wanted them to come to my camp for a shabbat.
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amother




Garnet
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:57 am
In this case , your child. Then schedule your own day of fun for yourself , for a different time.
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amother




Royalblue
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 10:59 am
Oooh!! This one's a toughie!!
It'll mean the world to your child if you stay behind.
Maybe treat yourself or splurge on something to make up for the trip.
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amother




Cyclamen
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:00 am
it’s not a question in my opinion. You choose your child’s performance
But I do want to give you some empathy here.. your a person too and im sure you were looking forward .
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tichellady




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:00 am
I don't think there's an obvious answer here. you are allowed to prioritize yourself. you know your needs and your kids needs better than we do.
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giftedmom




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:00 am
How much will you even enjoy the trip knowing you’re missing your child’s performance? If you knew you wouldn’t get another chance to do either which would you choose?
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octopus




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:01 am
As hard as it is, kid's performance. It's just one of the mom jobs you gotta do.
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amother




Papaya
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:02 am
It is awful to give that up but as a child being the only without a parent there is devastating
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:03 am
The child's performance, 100%. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself knowing that I'm missing a child's performance. It's very painful for a child to perform when her mom isn't there.
It's hard, but part of being a mom.
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amother




OP
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:03 am
Does it make a difference if it is for a high schooler and not a younger kid?
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amother




Floralwhite
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:05 am
amother OP wrote:
Does it make a difference if it is for a high schooler and not a younger kid?


Not for me. I would expect mom to be the adult in the situation and not expect her daughter to be the adult. It's very hard, but I think it's the right thing to do.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:07 am
Can you do both? Ie have someone record or FaceTime /zoom the performance while you’re on the trip?
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:08 am
Go to the performance and enjoy the rest of the day off to yourself.
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amother




Cherry
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:08 am
amother OP wrote:
Does it make a difference if it is for a high schooler and not a younger kid?


Even more so! A high school girl will have put more effort and thought into her performance. Please go to the performance! Then take a trip with your husband
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amother




Lemon
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:10 am
amother OP wrote:
Does it make a difference if it is for a high schooler and not a younger kid?


Yes, it’s even more important to be there for a teen. Younger kids forget and forgive easier.
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amother




Mauve
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:13 am
Go to the performance and then go do something fun with your daughter
If she rather go with friends then treat yourself to a massage mani pedi lunch coffee
Anything at all
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Shoshana Rose




 
 
 
 

Post Mon, Jan 23 2023, 11:14 am
my you can attend major rehersal?
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