Cost of bar mitzvah

amother

DarkGray

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 3:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

Do you recall the cost and if yes how long ago?

It was 2 years ago. I think it was in the $5-6k range for 80-90 people but I don’t recall exactly. It was plus centrepieces, music, benchers…

amother

DarkGray

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 3:39 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

Does anyone know what type of hall ateres malka is considered?

Very very beautiful- I’ve only been to medium-high end events there

amother

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 3:41 pm

amother DarkGray wrote:

It was 2 years ago. I think it was in the $5-6k range for 80-90 people but I don’t recall exactly. It was plus centrepieces, music, benchers…

Meaning you paid extra for music centerpieces and benchers I assume

amother

Pewter

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 3:57 pm

amother Cerise wrote:

Don't chassidim make huge vacht nachts?

Standard under $2k. in parents or grandparents home.
There are businesses that order it all for you and charge $15-$1800 including the food. Mens events only. If doing for women add on some salad and minis for another $100.

There is some trend for nicer ones at the young rich guys.

amother

DarkGray

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 4:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

Meaning you paid extra for music centerpieces and benchers I assume

Yes! Sorry if that wasn’t clear. Cardstock benchers from BP (per table not per person). Flowers I had stored and brought from the Shabbos kiddush the day before (even though usually the bo bayom is bf). I did pictures the morning of the event in a park so didn’t pay the hours for them to sit at the event (had tons of videos and pics from family I compiled from the actual event)

I also don’t include clothes, hat, and tefilin in my cheshbon- just the cost of the actual event.

amother

Skyblue

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 4:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

I thought about doing this but a) I want to give my parents the nachas of everyone being together for a simcha and b) my son should have the pride of his friends coming for his simcha

Our parents would attend (Honestly, the nachas comes from their grandson turning bar mitzvah-it’s about the bar mitzvah boy, its not about making the grandparents happy by overextending oneself by tens of thousands of dollars to make a grand gala family gathering affair). As for the classmates, most ppl make do a party for the classmates, can do the aliyah at school & have the zaidies daven with them etc.

amother

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 4:47 pm

amother Skyblue wrote:

I know both sets of parents would appreciate the ability for all the cousins to get together for a simcha

amother

Maize

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 5:11 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

Does anyone know what type of hall ateres malka is considered?

Ateres malka is nicer than the cheapest hall like bnos bracha or tashbar but it’s in a school so for example the men’s bathroom you need to walk through the hallway with bulletins boards all over the walls and the bathroom is gross, it’s the kids bathroom. Some people spend extra to cover the walls so that’s an added cost you need to consider when renting the hall. Also many people spend on lighting there so you can’t tell it’s a school building.
Also bnos malka if you want to leave space for dancing then you can’t have a lot of tables for guest because the hall isn’t so big.

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 5:58 pm

Baltimore right before covid we spent 10k. Night event for son’s friends, buffet catering and 1 man band, party planner for Friday and shabbos- buffet Friday afternoon, full shabbos with tables chairs custom picked tablecloths, centerpieces, large dessert table, women’s kiddush, men’s kiddush, waiters

Hashem_Yaazor

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 8:15 pm

Before COVID I made bar mitzvos and I think total was around $7000 for tefillin, 1 hat, bo bayom siyum at my house (fruit appetizer, hot dogs and fries, dessert) and catered shabbos meals for about 70 ppl plus community kiddush, both at shul. (Suit and shoes not included since it was part of yt budget just deferred.)
Invitations we didn't mail to everyone, most ppl got an email
Benchers were designed at home and printed at Staples
Hostess gifts were dip dishes with a spoon from a 6 count set at Black Friday prices filled with taffies
No photography or music
Tablecloths were borrowed
Centerpieces my mother in law bought balloons and we used orbeez filled vases
Plastic dishes/silverware I got at bulk prices

I can't wrap my head around these numbers. BH we didn't spend more than we did. There are so many more expenses I'll need to save for iyh!

amother

Orchid

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 9:45 pm

amother DarkYellow wrote:

How much is he (per person)?

$33 pp but this was a little more than a year and a half ago. Right before everything blew up.
This price is lowest level but it’s much more upgraded than other caterers and he presentation was gorgeous. Like the appetizer was pulled beef egg rolls and they put micro greens on top and displayed it really nicely.

I’m super happy with them and will be using them for my next bar mitzvah in a couple of years.

amother

Maize

Tue, Jan 24 2023, 10:25 pm

amother DarkYellow wrote:

How much is he (per person)?

He really does a beautiful job on a budget. For example instead of renting expensive tables he takes regular tables and puts a tablecloth on top then puts a mirror over that tablecloth so it looks like those expensive tables but it isn’t. He does a nice job with flowers in an affordable way. He really helps you
Keep the cost down but at the same
Time when you walk into the room it looks beautiful.

amother

Apricot

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 12:52 am

Maybe it's because I don't have boys yet, but why in the world is it necessary to host a whole big shabbos for them? If their bo bayom is during the week all the family gets together for that and celebrates a nice event!
Why does all family have to come for shabbos? To hear the kid lain??
It seems so unnecessary and expensive.

amother

Maize

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 10:00 am

amother Apricot wrote:

It such a beautiful thing. It makes the boy feel special. We expect so much from a bar mitzvah boy at least make their bar mitzvah special.

It’s also so nice for family to get together.

amother

Jasmine

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 10:27 am

amother Apricot wrote:

It's not necessary. It's a luxury.

Plenty dont have a shobbos.

I make them. It makes tge bar mitzvah boy feel good. It makes my husband and I feel good. It makes my other kids and the grandparents feel good. (the sleepover guests? It depends how much they like me and like to travel). It is great extended family time that we would not have without a simcha. I do lower end $7k. I think it is absolutely money well spent.
Those with bigger budgets spend more. Good for them.

I still have fond memories of family bar mitzvahs growing up.