When a teen won't get up...

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following Log in

Join Now

| | | | |

Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 7:07 am

And it's not an option for them to stay in bad, what to do?

I'm not talking about when they have school and it's really not ok and they will miss their ride, tests, etc. There are natural consequences and it's not fun, but there you are. But I have a teenage ds who will not get out of bed. And we need to leave my parents house for a six hour drive home from our vacation. Not only do we have no way to get him back if he doesn't get in our car, but my parents are not ok having him stay. No consequences or rewards are having any impact. He stayed up late, against our and even his own will, and here we are. Note- There are actually rewards that might help, but they are exhorbitant. Think a new laptop.

I'm not interested in strategies for how to avoid these things in general. I know those. Sometimes they don't work. And even if they will in the future and just take time, what do I do now?

amother

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 7:29 am

Sigh. No ideas? I appreciate the sympathy, but we have to go. And I need ideas for how.

amother

Snowdrop

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 7:33 am

Physically move him out the door? Threaten something he cares about? Have your parents tell him he needs to leave their house now?

amother

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 7:39 am

amother Snowdrop wrote:

Physically move him out the door? Threaten something he cares about? Have your parents tell him he needs to leave their house now?

Thanks. He's bigger than both of us. He is very upset. We were originally supposed to stay for Shabbos but my parents wanted to be able to spend time with all their grandkids and made plans to have others come today. He said that since he didn't wake up early to actually see his grandfather today (this is the first day he was able to take off work), he will just stay the weekend with everyone else and we will go. This is not happening. My parents have a few more hours for us to stay and are happy for that to happen- my mom has been telling me that for an hour now. But for us to leave today, we have to leave ASAP.

How to use threats in a way that actually works, vs having the kid completely shut down and stop doing anything? With most of my kids, it works. Not this one.

ila

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 7:57 am

Try to show him you understand he is upset and wished things would be different but it’s not in your hand? And maybe plan to do something cool in other place? Ask him what he thing would help him to be able to leave?

abound

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 8:00 am

can he take public transportation home?

Kumphort

Wed, Jan 25 2023, 9:03 pm

Op. What ended up happening? Can relate to this post but didn’t have any good solutions

chocolate moose

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 6:38 pm

we stopped going places as a family at that point. it wasn't working anymore

Page 1 of 1