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The Beckman’s - Ami Serial
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amother
Whitewash


 

Post Sat, Apr 08 2023, 9:42 pm
Oh wow how is everyone seeing Esty as the villain here. Her husband is treating her like garbage. Telling her nothing and pretending it's her that's the problem.

I would do exactly the same if I were Esty. Hiding all info from her, treating her as a maid? I cant believe hes twisting this as her fault.

Btw I missed last weeks installment. What did her friend the dayans wife tell her?
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Sat, Apr 08 2023, 9:49 pm
What is wrong with the dayan to discuss such sensitive things in front of others??? If they all daven in the same shul, he must know Eli's brother in law was next to him when he spoke to Eli!
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birdie1




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 1:07 pm
It seems to me that they had a superficial yet drama free marriage till now. Now all this drama is wreaking havoc in their relationship.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 1:49 pm
amother Whitewash wrote:
Oh wow how is everyone seeing Esty as the villain here. Her husband is treating her like garbage. Telling her nothing and pretending it's her that's the problem.

I would do exactly the same if I were Esty. Hiding all info from her, treating her as a maid? I cant believe hes twisting this as her fault.

Btw I missed last weeks installment. What did her friend the dayans wife tell her?


Most people don't think she's the villain. I don't really either. She just drives me crazy. Maybe because I'm married to someone pretty dysfunctional and I've learned what to say and what not to say and I have a decent marriage. I wish she would be smarter. She'd get a lot more accomplished.

Eli, we need to discuss this situation with our rav... from the get-go. That would be a good start.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 1:58 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
Most people don't think she's the villain. I don't really either. She just drives me crazy. Maybe because I'm married to someone pretty dysfunctional and I've learned what to say and what not to say and I have a decent marriage. I wish she would be smarter. She'd get a lot more accomplished.

Eli, we need to discuss this situation with our rav... from the get-go. That would be a good start.


Ok I'll discuss it with the Rav.

(How does that help?)
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 2:01 pm
amother Cerulean wrote:
Ok I'll discuss it with the Rav.

(How does that help?)


With Esti along with him. A good rav obviously.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 2:45 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
With Esti along with him. A good rav obviously.


My husband would say, it's enough for me to discuss it. You don't need to come along.
Or he would come home and say he discussed it already. Not everyone has a good Rav. Especially when the husband would only speak to his Rav and without his wife.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, Apr 09 2023, 2:52 pm
amother Cerulean wrote:
My husband would say, it's enough for me to discuss it. You don't need to come along.
Or he would come home and say he discussed it already. Not everyone has a good Rav. Especially when the husband would only speak to his Rav and without his wife.


Oy. That's sad.

The serial overall just annoys me. Yet I'm still reading. I guess I like that feeling. All the characters are annoying. I don't think there's one that isn't.
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amother
Banana


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 10:38 pm
The author doesn’t know how to write. In the beginning she wrote that the father legally handed the whole business over to Eli. If it’s legally Eli’s business then how can they even go to bais din?

Did the author forget that the wrote this. It’s annoying to read such stories when they don’t even make sense.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 11:15 pm
amother Whitewash wrote:
Oh wow how is everyone seeing Esty as the villain here. Her husband is treating her like garbage. Telling her nothing and pretending it's her that's the problem.

I would do exactly the same if I were Esty. Hiding all info from her, treating her as a maid? I cant believe hes twisting this as her fault.

Btw I missed last weeks installment. What did her friend the dayans wife tell her?

I agree and that’s why I started this thread!
I can’t believe in 2023 this is still normal.
All the money is his?
Maybe all the kids are hers then?
Messed up.

But I also think that Esti’s pain caused her to act stupid and even selfish and money hungry. Instead of caring so much about finances she should care about the way her husband is treating her , like a misbehaving child.
She should stop swallowing that.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 11:21 pm
amother Banana wrote:
The author doesn’t know how to write. In the beginning she wrote that the father legally handed the whole business over to Eli. If it’s legally Eli’s business then how can they even go to bais din?

Did the author forget that the wrote this. It’s annoying to read such stories when they don’t even make sense.

Legally and Halachicly are two separate things.

If the father owed money according to halacha (for example if he promised support to his son in law) then Eli needs to pay up the debts.

What I find weird is that the dayan initiated a phonecall. This wouldn’t happen in real life, Dayans aren’t like police. They deal with issues only if someone asks them to, Esti didn’t ask them to do anything.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 11:23 pm
amother Lilac wrote:
Oy. That's sad.

The serial overall just annoys me. Yet I'm still reading. I guess I like that feeling. All the characters are annoying. I don't think there's one that isn't.

I only like Hadassa , Esti’s sister
She’s cute
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amother
Whitewash


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 11:24 pm
amother OP wrote:
Legally and Halachicly are two separate things.

If the father owed money according to halacha (for example if he promised support to his son in law) then Eli needs to pay up the debts.

What I find weird is that the dayan initiated a phonecall. This wouldn’t happen in real life, Dayans aren’t like police. They deal with issues only if someone asks them to.

I recently went through this so I can tell you - the fact that the father promised support means nothing, unless he has it in writing. Ethically, morally - that's a different story.

I also find it strange that he legally handed over the business to his son. Unless he gave him POA, and that's what she means? People don't generally give away their assets while they're alive; it goes against human nature.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 11:28 pm
amother Cerulean wrote:
My husband would say, it's enough for me to discuss it. You don't need to come along.
Or he would come home and say he discussed it already. Not everyone has a good Rav. Especially when the husband would only speak to his Rav and without his wife.

Why can’t you say that you’d like to come along?

A couple shares their assets, she’s part of things.
I’m pretty sure it says that in the tenaim about sharing finances.
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amother
Banana


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 11:29 pm
amother Whitewash wrote:
I recently went through this so I can tell you - the fact that the father promised support means nothing, unless he has it in writing. Ethically, morally - that's a different story.

I also find it strange that he legally handed over the business to his son. Unless he gave him POA, and that's what she means? People don't generally give away their assets while they're alive; it goes against human nature.


That’s not true many times for tax purposes people
Give their business over to their kids while they are still alive. Also Eli didn’t know about it so that makes sense for financial reasons he legally gave it to Eli but he didn’t tell Eli so that he wouldn’t act on it.

But bais din needs to follow the law of the land so if the business is legally Eli’s then Eli doesn’t have to give an ounce of support unless its legally written down somewhere so this bais din has no authority and the case is pathetic.

It’s sad true author doesn’t know basic halacha and how bais din works
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amother
Pink


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 11:29 pm
amother OP wrote:
I agree and that’s why I started this thread!
I can’t believe in 2023 this is still normal.
All the money is his?
Maybe all the kids are hers then?
Messed up.

But I also think that Esti’s pain caused her to act stupid and even selfish and money hungry. Instead of caring so much about finances she should care about the way her husband is treating her , like a misbehaving child.
She should stop swallowing that.


I am totally relating to Esty. Dh is also enmeshed financially with his family. I am the most giving person but it bothers me.
Her husband is treating her like that because he doesn’t want to disturb the status quo. She is seeing now that he has attachment issues. She feels like she sees the light and he doesn’t. Her husband was probably very nice to her before this crisis. It’s now he feels stuck and he is scared of her even though she wants to help him so it backfires.
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amother
Whitewash


 

Post Sun, Apr 23 2023, 11:33 pm
amother Banana wrote:
That’s not true many times for tax purposes people
Give their business over to their kids while they are still alive. Also Eli didn’t know about it so that makes sense for financial reasons he legally gave it to Eli but he didn’t tell Eli so that he wouldn’t act on it.

But bais din needs to follow the law of the land so if the business is legally Eli’s then Eli doesn’t have to give an ounce of support unless its legally written down somewhere so this bais din has no authority and the case is pathetic.

It’s sad true author doesn’t know basic halacha and how bais din works

For tax purposes people create trusts while they're alive. Generally. I work in a related field and this is very common. Very rarely do they hand their assets over outright.

It's true that if this was the case, Eli is now the complete owner. But why would the father do that, and leave out his wife and daughter? It makes no sense.
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amother
Hawthorn


 

Post Mon, Apr 24 2023, 12:07 am
I find the serial irritating even though the premise is good. Feels choppy and whiny and frustrating to me. Also bizarre that the Dayan would go over to Eli at all let alone in public. Very strange.
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amother
Daylily


 

Post Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:54 pm
Delete
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Apr 27 2023, 3:03 am
amother Daylily wrote:
....

The author isn’t a fictional person and she might even be on this thread.
I happen to enjoy her story even if I don’t like Eli and Dina
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