Single mom. Work part time or buy house?

amother

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 2:36 am

Looking for opinions. I'm a single mom with full custody and no child support. I come from a poor family with no financial support from my parents, and have no savings.

Luckily, I have a degree and can make a middle class income if I work full time. Also, I live in a place with relatively inexpensive housing, and I get free tuition.

I have been working part time for the past few years, getting a small amount of government aid, and have been living decently, I don't feel like my kids or I am missing out, BUT even though real estate is relatively inexpensive in my area, with this part-time income I would never be able to make a down payment for a house.

So my question is, how important is it to buy a house? If I were to work full-time, I could make a down payment in about 5 years, probably a little less. But I'm afraid I'd feel overwhelmed, tired, be a grumpier mom and less available to my kids and enjoy life less. My kids are still little...

Opinions?

amother

Impatiens

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 2:46 am

I'm married close to 2 decades and we still rent. I don't think renting is much shame, and although technically it might be nice to invest in a home we own, this way we also are not on the hook when things break.

In your case, your kids are young - these years won't come back. If you can work more when they're older, great. But I don't think it's worth suffering for years just to own instead of rent, especially when you're so needed.

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 2:50 am

Owning your own home is an investment, but it's also a headache. If something breaks down, it's on your head. You need to maintain it etc etc.
You need to weigh up the different things and see whether the pros outweigh the cons.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 4:27 am

That's such a good question.
It's easy to say: Be available to your kids when they're little. You have a good thing now, stay as you are.
Or it's easy to say: Invest in your future. Sacrifice a bit now for some financial security later. Assuming the price of your house goes up.
When I first read your post I was sure you should work full time to afford a house. I've always worked full time when I was married and then divorced. I also got no child support until maybe a decade later.
But then I thought about it and maybe it wasn't the best thing. I had a masters degree, a good job, paying well and never considered leaving it. Maybe I should have. But I was petrified of not having enough money for basic life. But you say you do.
I only saw my child early mornings and after 6:00. And every other weekend.
Funny, I had enough money for a down payment but hadn't considered buying a house. I didn't want the hassle of maintaining it. I just got to the point of thinking about buying when I met someone and then re-married. We bought a house right away.
Bottom line, think over the pros and cons and see what is most important to you.

Sorry, I guess I wasn't much help. Best of luck to you.

amother

Poinsettia

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 7:06 am

Something to think about:
Do you see the market going up significantly in the next few years?
Buying a house is only an investment if you’re in a market where it will definitely go up.
Where I live, it certainly costs more to maintain my home than the amount of the increase in value, so it’s not an investment but a liability. I’m happy I own a home, but renting would be a much smaller headache.

Now that your kids are small, I’d say, give them all the time you can and hopefully when they’re older you can think about bigger headache stuff.
Hatzlacha in all your matters, especially financially and with your your children.

amother

Mintcream

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 7:46 am

I think these are one of those decisions that need to be revisited every couple of years
For now it doesn’t seem wise for you to own.
It’s a huge financial responsibility.

Meanwhile, are you able to save ANY money, $100 monthly?

Maybe start a mutual fund or a Simcha fund
Later on you can decide to pull that money or use it for something else. Or keep saving it.

It won’t be enough for a down payment, you’ll need to still work full time to put it together in 5 yrs.
But t it might make a nice nest egg one day

amother

Mayflower

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 7:52 am

I also want to add that utilities right now are very very high. I don't know if gas and electric is included in your rent, but by the time we finish paying mortgage, utilities,water taxes..... there is literally nothing left. I mean literally. My husband and I work full time just to pay the bills 9n the house

amother

Dustypink

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 7:54 am

My parents live in a rental apartment and are in their 70’s. They have lived in their apartment for almost 50 years.
We bought a house. 20 years in I am still not really understanding.
People talk about the investment-between property tax, interest on the mortgage, and all the upkeep (from gutter cleaning/landscaping, painting, plumbing, boiler and roof expenses…) I’m not so sure that rent is “throwing away $”.

amother

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 7:56 am

amother Poinsettia wrote:

I don't expect it to skyrocket, but I expect it to slowly go up. But it just bothers me to "waste" all these years rent money on rent and come out empty handed vs if only I had money for a down payment I could spend about the same amount on mortgage payments and come out with a house...

But the only way to get the down payment would be to work full time for a few years. Theoretically, after the down payment, I could go back to part-time work to just make monthly mortgage payments.

amother

Cornsilk

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 8:20 am

I'm a single mom. Do NOT work full time while they're in elementary. I work full time cuz I need the money and get no child support. It is nearly impossible with drop off and pick up times to be there for your kids. Every year I need to find the kids a way to get home at 3:30 since I have to work until 5.

If you wait until they're in middle school you can work full time cuz their school will have longer hours.

Do you need a house? How many kids do you have? If only 2-3 maybe you can buy a condo? It's cheaper and you won't have to pay someone to mow your lawn and do yardwork. Houses are never ending expenses with fixing things.

Your kids are only young once. You can work full time in a few years but now is your only time to be available to them emotionally. It's very very hard for me to stay patient and spend time with them when I'm exhausted after a whole day of work. If you're managing financially, don't let a house be the reason to put this strain on you. I know everyone buys one but it's not worth the stress. You don't want to worry about paying for a plumber or electrician or replacing a roof. An apartment everything is taken care of.

Be there for your kids. Re-evaluate as they get older

amother

Lightpink

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 8:29 am

amother OP wrote:

I wouldn't be so sure you'll be able to go back to part time once you buy the house. Utilities will likely go up, things break all the time, house upkeep, taxes going up, etc.

amother

Banana

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 8:44 am

Keep in mind too that going to full time work will affect you in other ways. It won't be as easy as saving for five years ... You might lose government help, you may end up spending more for help(like take out, child care, cleaning help), and so on. And within the next few years you may have simchas to pay for (bar/bas mitzvah). Working full time might just launch you into the dead end category of very poor middle class.

amother

Burlywood

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 8:58 am

How stable is your current rental situation and how is the rental market in your community in general? Are rentals easy to find in the same area. Your landlord could sell or just choose not to renew your lease.

amother

Bergamot

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 10:42 am

I don't see why you would need a house if your family isn't growing. That being said I do think having some savings is important and if you could work a little more and start saving moderately you would be better off. Invest your money in ibonds that are inflation proof so you can make simchos iyH.

BHYOMYOM1

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 12:08 pm

Stay with the kids.

Consider working full time when they are in HS and:

*they have long hours/extra curricular
*are much more self reliant
*can also pitch in and help
*have outside interests that will occupy them and need their “own space”
*can get around much more on their own...

Then in the future the grandkids can really say: we are going to Bubby’s house”.

For now, no.

Much, much hatzlacha, nachas and yeshuos!

seeker

Thu, Jan 26 2023, 12:47 pm

Another in favor of continuing to rent. Houses are headaches. Sure it's an investment but there are investments you can make without needing a huge down payment all at once and then dealing with upkeep and everything. And for me at least single parenting required me to take full advantage of all the flexibility my part time job could allow.

However there are also so many individual factors. Are you a naturally talented efficient mom in general? I'm not, working more hours would have passed the breaking point of my life skills. And what type of full time job are you looking at? Is it the kind where you could work from home when your kid is home sick, make up hours later while you take off for a school performance, leave the job at the office and come home the same time every day? Or is your profession stressy and draining? How do people in your potential job handle things like school vacations? Even with 2 parents these things can be super tough.

I don't want to discourage you from taking steps that could lead to greater fulfillment and prosperity. I hope I'm not sounding like a downer. It's possible you have great answers to these questions and will be one of those rocking single supermoms. I'm just raising some of the questions to help with the asking part.