S/O how to tell a child their grandparent got divorced again

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Sat, Jan 28 2023, 10:28 pm

I've told them in the past that my parents got divorced and now the remarried spouse is in middle of getting divorced again. My kids loved the new spouse. Was an amazing person and constantly giving gifts when she came. My kids loved her. Their in middle of getting divorced and I feel so sad and heartbroken to break this news to them but my kids ask about her still.. If shell come to a school play or for shabbos.. how do I tell them?

amother

NeonBlue

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:07 am

Before doing anything, check with her as to her plans. She may love your kids and have every intention of remaining a part of their lives.

amother

Apricot

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:23 am

Depending upon their ages I would gather them together in a “family meeting” and say kids I have some sad news to share everyone is ok but so and so and so and so are getting divorced. We do not have many details to share yet what that will mean for us and how that change will look in our lives but wanted to let you know. They won’t be living in the same house anymore. It is between them and has nothing to do with their love for all of you and us. Anytime you have questions feel free to ask me anytime.
Reassure them thst you and your Dh are always staying together. Give them lots of TLC
It is a process not a one time conversation.
Hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Apricot

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:34 am

Also help them channel their sadness productively
They can say a Perek tehilim
They can write cards and pictures

amother

Apricot

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:38 am

Keep it short and follow their lead as to questions and how much info

amother

Apricot

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:39 am

Validate their feelings
It is ok to feel mad sad confused etc
Whatever you are feeling is ok
You may each be feeling differently from each other as well as different feelings at different times
We don’t know why
We just continue to love them

amother

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 8:06 am

Thank you!

amother

Apricot

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 8:10 am

Hugs and hatzlocha
I’m sure it is hard for you as well
And at the same time you have to support your children in their “trauma” too
Wishing you nechama

amother

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 11:56 am

amother Apricot wrote:

Hugs and hatzlocha
I’m sure it is hard for you as well
And at the same time you have to support your children in their “trauma” too
Wishing you nechama

Amen thank you. Means a lot.

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