How do people vacation yearly with kids???

amother

Pearl

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 2:00 pm

I don't know that so many people do this. It's more like a one off thing that's very exciting. usually it's WITH the children. and no I would NOT be ok watching someone else's kid for a week. It's a big favor to ask from someone I'm surprised that a poster doesn't seem to think so. do you reciprocated and watch random friends of your kids for a week?

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 2:17 pm

mizle10 wrote:

I would be very resentful if someone asked me if I can have their child move in for a week so they can go on vacation.

And yes, it is a big deal.

Its a huge deal!!! I would be so annoyed if someone asked me for a full week so they can go on vacation. It's alot to ask of someone.

ynms

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 2:28 pm

mizle10 wrote:

I would be very resentful if someone asked me if I can have their child move in for a week so they can go on vacation.

And yes, it is a big deal.

I agree with you. But just say it won't for me.

amother

Firethorn

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 2:33 pm

We would never go for a whole week, 3-4 days max. And we always make it during a time when school or camp is in session. My parents stay over and basically just see the kids off in the morning and manage them when they get back from school. My cleaning lady stays a couple extra hours to help with dinner and baths. That's how we make it work. I'm grateful my parents are able to facilitate this.

mizle10

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 2:34 pm

ynms wrote:

I agree with you. But just say it won't for me.

I would have no problem saying that, but some other people would and it’s a ridiculous thing to expect of someone in the first place.

amother

Offwhite

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 2:52 pm

amother Lightpink wrote:

Its a huge deal!!! I would be so annoyed if someone asked me for a full week so they can go on vacation. It's alot to ask of someone.

Don't judge other people. You have no clue what else is going on in their lives, or if ch"v their "vacation" is a trip to some hospital, or a break after difficult treatments.
You still don't have to do it if you can't, but oftentimes couples have very legit reasons.

notshanarishona

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 2:59 pm

amother Steelblue wrote:

What’s the big deal? My kids love to go to friends.

They can choose a friend in their class and I get the task of calling their mom.

Am I the only one that doesn’t get the big deal about leaving kids with friends?

Sleepovers are fun for them too.

It might not be a big deal for the kids (depending on their ages and personality) but it’s a huge favor to ask of a casual friend (to be responsible for your kid, feed them, get them to and from school, etc).
It means their kids don’t sleep as well, harder time getting everyone to bed, your kid may or may not like their food thus causing them extra work.

The only time it can really be a pleasure is when it’s a high school age self sufficient friend.

I would not do it for more than a night for someone going on vacation. I have done it when someone was in the hospital or going for a family emergency.

I hope at least you pay people back or pay them for the trouble for this huge favor that you seem to think is nothing.

amother

Wallflower

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 3:08 pm

We rarely go away but there have been once or twice we have been for max 3 days.

My kids are old enough to stay by friends and the family I have in town are not a good fit for them.

I always feel awkward asking people these favours.
But I would also feel awkward offering payment. They are too big ti send to an overnight childminder.

I never really know how to ask.
I never put pressure on other side, but when its just for a night or 2, in my circles, sounds like its normal to ask friends.

I totally understand when people say no and personally, I dont have a problem saying no myself to others, even if they had my kids.

How I wish I had close family that we could swap and switch our kids whenevr we went away.

amother

Steel

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 3:21 pm

I only have 1 small baby but I don’t think I would ever ask a friend to have my kids, I wouldn’t feel comfortable looking after other people’s kids overnight definitely not more than a night or 2.
Maybe I would leave them with my parents or other family but I would still feel uncomfortable putting people out like that.

taketwo

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 3:32 pm

I've gone away for 2 nights while my dh takes over at home. We've also had a friend move into our home for a shabbos when we had a simcha we couldn't bring the kids with to. I was so grateful to her, it's totally out of the realm of normal, but she seemed happy to be able to do it for me.

The saying desperate times call for desperate measures sometimes applies to vacationing too. Obviously only for a short time and not often. Making it an official yearly thing doesn't sound like desperate times though.

mizle10

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 3:50 pm

amother Offwhite wrote:

Sorry, no. If this is the case the appropriate thing to say is “hey, I know this is a huge imposition. Something unavoidable came up and I need to leave town for a few days. Would it be an option for you to watch my child while I’m away?”

It’s a big deal to watch someone else’s kid. Don’t lie about it also.

And the poster who brought this up was clearly saying it’s not a big deal to dump your kids on someone else to go on a pleasure vacation.

ynms

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 3:51 pm

amother Offwhite wrote:

True not judging, but if you do t want to watch s/o else's kids just say no.

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 4:01 pm

amother Offwhite wrote:

I was LITERALLY responding to a comment from someone who said she doesnt see what the big deal is to ask people to watch her kids *so she can go on vacation for a week*.

I obviously am not referring to hypothetical or tragic situations. In fact, if someone is going to the hospital or is in between treatments, even then, I don't think that takes away how much it is to ask of a person to watch their kids for the entire week, and if god forbid I was in a situation like that I still wouldnt ask someone to watch my kids for a week. If I didnt have family, or the budget to hire someone, I wouldnt go away.

amother

Lightpink

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 4:04 pm

amother Wallflower wrote:

You would say no to someone that asked you to have their kids, after they hosted yours? OMG.....

Ema of 5

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 4:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

DH and I would love to go away for a week once a year.
How do people do it while their kids are young? Where do you leave your kids if your siblings never go away and leave their kids with you?
I don't feel comfortable leaving with friends.

We are married over 15 years, and have only gone away for more than a night without the kids one time. We go away sometimes just overnight without the kids, but now that we have a baby I don’t think that will be happening soon. I don’t really like going away without my kids for more than just overnight.

amother

Wallflower

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 4:08 pm

amother Lightpink wrote:

You would say no to someone that asked you to have their kids, after they hosted yours? OMG.....

Yes.
I have my own difficulties at home with challenging children.
One has mild special needs and I cant take on more then I can handle.

I have never left this child before at a friend. only at a relative or paid childminder.

I do find it hard asking for my other kids, but they are old enough and relatively easy in age and behaviour wise. And someti

It doesnt mean that it works for my family dynamics though, I dont ask with the reasoning that one day Il have theirs.
Its a huge favour for me and Im so grateful to them.

Ema of 5

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 4:31 pm

mizle10 wrote:

I would be very resentful if someone asked me if I can have their child move in for a week so they can go on vacation.

And yes, it is a big deal.

I don’t thing I would be resentful, but I for sure wouldn’t be thrilled. Especially if it was a kid I didn’t know. Play dates for a couple of hours are hard enough, I can’t even imagine overnight. I’m talking specifically about kids I don’t know. My kids’ friends is a different story. I would be more open to that, but even so I wouldn’t want to do it for more than a night of two….at least for my younger kids, where I have to actually take care of the child. If it was one of my teens, I think it would be different, because they don’t need me so much.
I agree, it’s a huge deal. Even for one night is a huge deal. The reason we were able to do it the one time we did was because our babysitter at the time was living with us. She wasn’t a live in, she was a friend who was our baby sitter, and she needed a place to live. Had she not been with us, we wouldn’t have had anyone to leave the kids with.

amother

NeonGreen

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 4:39 pm

amother Wallflower wrote:

Knowing this, you shouldn’t send out your other kids when you know you won’t have their kids back.

amother

Wallflower

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 5:06 pm

amother NeonGreen wrote:

Knowing this, you shouldn’t send out your other kids when you know you won’t have their kids back.

No, I dont agree.

Its not tit for tat.

I never think along these lines when someone asks me a favour.
A favour is a favour is a favour.

I dont expect my kids friends to have them over for a playdate, just because they come to ours.
Even if they come a few times in a row.

Its nice, but I dont expect it.

lamplighter

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 5:14 pm

I think it's a huge favor and if you can't reciprocate you should say that when you ask them to take your kids. It's socially accepted that if you send to them they expect for you to have their kids another time. If that is not the case you should say that.