How do people vacation yearly with kids???

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Forum -> Vacation and Traveling

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amother

Stonewash

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 1:56 am

We often have to travel without our kids.

I have a live in nanny.

My sister in laws sometimes move in.

I hear a post sem girl to move in

Some of my kids sleep at friends house for some or part of the time.

It’s usually a combo of the above.
In my community. Most couples go away alone fairly regularly. Almost always for less than a week.

We just booked to travel for someone’s wedding. We cannot take the kids for logistical reasons. If I had a nursing baby or a baby under 18 months I would take them with me. But I don’t at the moment. So they all staying home.

We will be gone for 3 nights/4 days.
We will drop them off at school on Friday morning. Go to the airport fly to our destination. Kids will be picked up in school by their regular lifts. (I do every other Friday). Some of the kids are sleeping at friends for the weekend. They do this when we are here so it’s nothing unusual.

Shabbos food is prepared.
My nanny will bath the younger kids.
One of my in laws will move in for shabbos. Have a shabbos meal with them. Take them to shul.
Etc.
on Sunday I have another helper coming. Cuz my nanny doesn’t work.

I have arranged for someone to take them to bowling and pizza in the afternoon.

At some point the kids sleeping out will come home.

My nanny will work Sunday night. Which she doesn’t usually. Prepare school snacks and bags.
Make sure everyone is sleeping.
Monday morning I switched carpool around so I don’t do it. The kids will be picked up for school and dropped at home. Dinner is in the freezer. My nanny will put them to bed.
And we will be home that night.

That’s it.

I have kids between 3-14.

amother

Steelblue

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 7:49 am

mizle10 wrote:

I would be very resentful if someone asked me if I can have their child move in for a week so they can go on vacation.

And yes, it is a big deal.

Idk it’s very common in my community.
So I usually end up returning the favor too.

I guess we are easier about doing favors in our community.

amother

Gardenia

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 10:17 am

My kids are big now but we once left three children over four years old for a week to attend a sibling's wedding in the States. I had the logistics all worked out: their familiar babysitter( over twenty years old) agreed to move in and sleep with them. I had arranged for them to go to friends after school, the fridge and freezer was stocked with more food than they would need, my sister who was in E"Y for the year was going to be there as well and take them to a performance one evening and then to my brother family for shabbos.
Well, at the last minute my babysitter cancelled and we were left scrambling because we had nobody to watch them during weeknights . We ended up making alternative arrangements which proved to be less than ideal although my sister and brother did come through for us magnificently. I hindsight, I should have just stayed at home and DH could have attended the wedding alone. B"H, I don't think there was any long term damage but from that point on we said never again until the kids are grown and capable of taking care of themselves. That being said, I have watched nieces and nephews when asked. I do it with pleasure but each time it just reinforces my belief that young children should not be left by their parents barring an emergency. I treat my charges really well but they are definitely not themselves and often get sick and don't sleep well. Even my grandchildren are not themselves when they come and they love it here.( Although they have never been left here for more than a night at a time )

amother

Aconite

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 1:03 pm

When someone takes your kid for several days ( I would never do week for non-emergency. Max 3 days maybe) it's socially acceptable to offer the favor back right then, in a general sense. " I'd be happy to have Sura when you need to go away, don't hesitate to ask.." of course if they ask at a time when you can't you don't have to, but always have the intention to reciprocate. Otherwise you're just taking advantage of people.

amother

Crystal

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 8:47 pm

amother Obsidian wrote:

If its hard everywhere I prefer it to Be hard somewhere interesting or fun. It’s always hard but I’ve never regretted it or wished I’d stayed home instead

Lol!

#BestBubby

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:08 pm

I did 2 grandchildren aged 3 and 4, while my DD took her oldest and the baby to a Bar Mitzvah

out of state.

It was for 3 days, and the kids had a blast!

I also so moved into my DD's house to watch her kids while DD and SIL went on an
overnight trip. (2 days/1 night)

But I am their Bubby, not a "friend" doing a favor.

amother

Electricblue

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:18 pm

It’s extremely normal in my circles to take siblings kids or neighbors when parents go away on vacation. I gladly take most times and they happily offer me in return. My kids are so used to guest and love it. I can honestly say that this set up works very well for my family and sometimes makes it even easier on me cause my kids have built in company. I guess you can guess from my post that we’re chasidish.

amother

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:21 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Lucky them!
Best is to have Grandma watch the kids!
Not everyone is lucky enough to have their mom/in law willing or able to do that.

amother

White

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 11:38 pm

We would never have dreamed of leaving our kids and going away by ourselves. Well, we may have dreamed of it but would never have actually done so. When we went away, it was a family trip. It wasn't a vacation for us, to be sure, because we had to stay in Mama/Papa Bear mode protecting our cubs, but that's what you sign up for when you become a parent. Our parents did more than enough child-minding when we were between caregivers and when I had to run errands when dh wasn't home. We wouldn't think of asking them to look after our kids for more than a few hours. It literally would never have occurred to us to ask, any more than it would occur to me to ask my parents to trade living quarters, giving us their nice house and giving them our tenement-style apartment.

Ask friends to look after my kids while I go off and play? You must be joking.

We took our first "just you and me" vacation for three days and two nights one summer when the constellations all aligned just so and all our kids were away at the same time.

amother

Stoneblue

Thu, Feb 02 2023, 7:54 pm

I guess my husband and I are bad parents and bad community members! Smile

we recently went away for an extended weekend. We left Thursday morning. We made arrangements for our 2 kids still at home to sleep and have playdates,, shabbos seudos, etc at different friends houses. They each slept at the same house all three nights but had different playdates after school, Shabbos afternoon, Sunday am, etc. (our other kids are in dorms).

I gave each of the host mothers a $100 gift card to a nice houseware/gift store, plus sent over whatever I would normally send to those hosting my kids for a shabbos meal. We were back by Sunday at noon.

I think it was really important for my husband and I to spend the time alone together, and I would be very happy to take other people's kids for 3-4 nights so they could spend time together as well.

That being said, it took a lot of planning and coordination. There were so many moving parts. I doubt I could do this yearly!

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