How do your kids feel about you going away?

amother

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:17 pm

The other thread got me thinking....
If you go away overnight, or for a week, how do you think your kids feel about it? The older ones? The younger ones? The ones left in charge of the house?

amother

cornflower

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:21 pm

They're so excited and beg us to go away more often. It's a treat for them to go away for afew nights to family or friends.

amother

Blushpink

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 12:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

The other thread got me thinking....
If you go away overnight, or for a week, how do you think your kids feel about it? The older ones? The younger ones? The ones left in charge of the house?

I think there might be a difference if you leave your kids home alone vs hiring a fun babysitter, sending them to hang out by people they like...
not that we've done it but I know a friend did it and the kids loved the babysitter.

amother

Acacia

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 3:26 pm

I wrote that we only go away for 1 night and my school aged kids go to my in laws. They love it!!!! It's the biggest treat to have a sleepover at Bubby's house. They beg for it all the time.

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 5:10 pm

We really started going away recently when we had big kids stay home. We rarely go for more than one night and my kids are really happy. They had to go out to dinner and I don't make them do anything extra in the house. They're happy to know that we enjoy spending time as a couple as well as with the kids. Unfortunately so many of my older kids have parents that are getting divorced after 20 years so it's reassuring to them that we enjoy each other's company. About a year ago we did two nights for the first time and it was really really nice to have that extra day to relax. And the kids were totally fine and just got extra take out. I just have one that's not a teenager so only one did help to get to bed and get ready and he's pretty independent.

amother

Peony

Sun, Jan 29 2023, 5:30 pm

My kids love love it and always ask why we are back so fast lol! They get to spend time with their favorite cousins! They always stay w family. I bring back presents and they call me every day. My kids are 4-6-8. I go away once a year for vacation 4-7 days. We do some overnights for simchos throughput the year... we take them in the summer for a family vacation. I’m a sahm so I’m home for them when they come home from school.

amother

Mintgreen

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 2:15 am

amother OP wrote:

Ok I'm beginning to feel like an anomaly. My kids can't handle when I'm away.

Same. Wanted to go away overnight, allowed them all to choose places and they had such tantrums!

amother

Mayflower

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 6:13 am

U feel it’s healthy for parents to go away and kids change their comfort zone. I go away once a year for a Shabbos (not even yearly) and take vacation max a week every 3 years my kids don’t mind at all. I let them choose a few places they want to stay etc. my kids stayed home this year w when I went away they were mad they didn’t go to friends lol

amother

Yellow

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 7:26 am

I have a friend whose kids hate when she goes away with her husband.
I haven’t tried it bec I think my 6 and 3 yo would get sad during the night. But maybe next year if we can figure it all out

amother

NeonPurple

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 7:34 am

I work in a preschool. Some kids completely fall apart when their parents are away and with others you would never know.
My children are older now but same deal. Most were fine if we went away for a night or two. They loved the time with grandparents, friends, cousins… where ever they stayed or whoever stayed over. They loved the takeout, the laid back atmosphere. One, however, couldn’t handle it. It’s a personality type. My husband and I rarely went away when that child was growing up even though I had grown children who drove and were totally capable of running the house for more than a day or two.

amother

Iris

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 7:44 am

My husband and I can’t even go out for date night without our bigger kids mooning the babysitter, smack-talking, running outside into the dark suburban streets, and the youngest sobbing herself to sleep before the babysitter even arrives.

We don’t go out much.

amother

Lilac

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 8:01 am

My older one (6) misses me but he’s in good hands by his grandparents who spoil him and DH. The younger one (2) is fine without me. I live far away from my parents so do go to visit them a few days a year without the kids.

We also go away around once a year for 2-3 days and it’s a bit harder for my older one but we FaceTime daily. Bh my in-laws take good care of them.

amother

Mayflower

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 8:14 am

amother Iris wrote:

That I think is a chinuch thing and teaching kids to behave do they do this to the sub in school. When my daughter babysits so I can go out with my husband we promise whoever behave prizes that we put under their pillow I have a stock from the dollar store and they are the happiest. There is no reason you can’t go away and kids should be this rowdy sorry

amother

cornflower

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:24 am

amother OP wrote:

Ok I'm beginning to feel like an anomaly. My kids can't handle when I'm away.

I find that this may have to do with mom's attitude regarding going away. If mom is anxious, worried, hysterical, then that’s how the kids will be. If mom is excited, kids are excited.

amother

Iris

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 9:27 am

amother Mayflower wrote:

I didn’t mention that my kids have invisible special needs (autism spectrum, adhd, anxiety). They are already on medication and in therapy, and hold it together as best they can in school. At night, at home, where they feel “safest” and let it all out is when everything falls apart.

And that is a possibility that you are capable of imagining and being dan me l’kaf zchus.

It’s so easy to think you have all the answers.

amother

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 10:45 am

amother cornflower wrote:

I find that this may have to do with mom's attitude regarding going away. If mom is anxious, worried, hysterical, then that’s how the kids will be. If mom is excited, kids are excited.

Not really but ok

amother

Chicory

Mon, Jan 30 2023, 11:09 am

I didn't go away for awhile, not wanting to leave my kids. One day they were kvetching that they never get to go stay by anyone. Go figure...
When I did go away, they went happily. Was hard for them, but I think it was good for them. Was for an extended weekend. Was a new experience, they loved some parts and didn't other parts. They were very happy to come back home. And so was I!

I remember my mom going away sometimes and me being so excited lol. My older sister watched us. She would experiment in the kitchen because my mom usually wouldn't let that. She let us have nosh and go to sleep late and make us fun charts...