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Trademark
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 Mon, Jan 30 2023, 4:03 pm
| shabbatiscoming wrote: | Well this doesnot make any sense. First of all, one child, no matter what, will be the youngest. And they will grow up as well. And what about only children? Do they not grow up as well? Maybe differently, but they do as well.
And your reasons are a bit flowery and not really all that practical. And no always do those above things happen when a new sibling comes in to the mix. Its ideal, yes, but does not always happen at all. It is not a given at all. |
I agree with you, that's a weird line along with most of the post. Hashem gives everyone what they need to grow. For some having younger siblings is what they need and for others it's something else.
We daven very hard for every child to bring only bracha, joy, and nachas. But there are no guarantees.
Also the only hard part is 9 months of waiting? Maybe the hardest part is the colic, or being bullied or maybe even being the bully? Or a difficult diagnosis? I can think of a million things that are harder than waiting nine months.
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Trademark
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Mon, Jan 30 2023, 4:07 pm
| #BestBubby wrote: | Having a new baby, is a little like getting
A puppy, lehavdil.
Can be a lot of fun for older kids, especially if they
Are asking for a new baby. |
Did you just compare having a younger sibling to getting a puppy? What in the world?
A baby is not here to bring fun to the older siblings. Hopefully they are excited and embrace the new baby, but a baby is a person not a puppy.
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Amalia
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Mon, Jan 30 2023, 6:27 pm
| amother Black wrote: | | We ended up waiting 7+ years but worked on healing our children in that time |
Hi “black,”
I am late to this thread so I don’t know whether you’ll see my post.
I also would like to know what modalities/methods you used to heal your children’s nervous systems. (In our case, both my children and myself would greatly benefit.)
Could you pm me also with the info? (I am posting under my username to make it easier and faster for you.)
“Scarlet” amother, in case “black” does not see my post:
Could you perhaps forward me the info from “black” amother? I’d be very grateful.
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amother
Oxfordblue
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Mon, Jan 30 2023, 6:30 pm
| amother Seafoam wrote: |
The baby years are easy.
Its bringing them up that is the hardest.
Id say 0-5 are the easiest years of child raising.
Along with pregancy.
Of course, physically its the most draining though. |
Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm wondering how old your oldest child is?
I believe this is very individual and dependent on the kid's nature. My 14 yo who is my oldest was a very difficult colicky baby, challenging stubborn toddler, and impossibly demanding and still stubborn preschooler (including multiple allergies since outgrown). Elementary got a bit easier, we had one rough patch from about 10.5-12 and now K'ah is such a pleasure.
Honestly I don't think anyone who has had a baby like mine would say that the baby years are the easiest. I was at the verge of a nervous breakdown, my marriage suffered so much that divorce was in the back of my mind. The constant crying does something to you mentally besides of course physically. As this baby grew up, I was able to communicate, talk logically, spend fun times together and so the challenging times aren't nearly as difficult.
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amother
Scarlet
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Tue, Jan 31 2023, 3:39 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | OP here. My takeaway is that from those of you who have been in this situation- you appreciated larger gaps between 4&5 and you don’t regret taking a longer gap either. You’ve seen the bracha from the 5th child. And from those who didn’t have another, you regretted it in hindsight. Anything else you think the takeaway should be from this thread? |
I haven’t read the whole thread, although I did post and delete earlier. We recently added, after a long break. The previous youngest is more than 5 years older than the baby. Said child is having a very difficult time. Behaviors and habits that we worked hard to eliminate have returned. Doing anything, going anywhere, is harder now because I have the baby to consider. If I’m being honest, I’m having a hard time juggling the previous youngest one needs with taking care of the baby. The older kids are great with the baby, when they want to be. Generally it is only NOT when I ask them, but when they take the baby on their own because they want to, not because I need them to. My other kids are closer in age, and that was definitely easier for both me and the no longer youngest. Of course there is bracha and I don’t regret it for a second, but it’s H.A.R.D.
I want to add that we are dealing with more than one child with adhd, diagnosed or not, and/or adhd. My kids are not easy by any stretch. I got cursed at this morning because I woke one kid up to get ready…..I also do most things on my own- wake up, getting ready, taking kids to school, picking them up, homework, dinner, showers, bedtime….and everything in between. There is definitely chaos on an almost daily basis.
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areal
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Wed, Feb 01 2023, 2:15 am
Hi there, Black, Scarlet &/or Amalia- can I get the info as well?  Appreciate…& hatzlocha to all.
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werty
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Wed, Feb 01 2023, 2:38 am
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I personally truly believe that children being brocha and unless you're really not coping , I'd welcome another neshama into your family with loads of gratitude.
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