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amother
Winterberry
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 Sun, Feb 26 2023, 11:37 am
| amother Seafoam wrote: | | Ari's behavior this week was so unhinged... I would hope that Dassi would fall off the shidduch even without the anonymous chavrusah's intervention. |
She keeps trying to make excuses for him, and her mother is encouraging her to pursue the shidduch. At this point the red flags are so obvious.
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amother
NeonYellow
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Sun, Feb 26 2023, 11:38 am
| amother Honey wrote: | | He shouldn't want him to get married, at least not at this point. Right now Ari is not marriage material. Whoever marries him is in for a miserable life. If anon doesn't know about a shidduch he can't stop it. But if he knows, he absolutely should save a girl from a lifetime of misery. |
I agree Ari isn't marriage material but you can't control the world. He's gonna try to stop every shidduch? People marry abusive narcissistic people all the time. Is it fair? No. But what you gonna do? You gonna start to play God and control people's lives? Where does this end?
Also if someone else manipulates this then it'll much harder for Dassy to look at it clearly. Because who's meddling and trying to get involved in my life? Dassy needs to come to this decision on her own that this guy is just not ok.
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amother
Aconite
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Thu, Mar 02 2023, 8:24 pm
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I was so happy this week that Dassi finally came to her senses. I hope Ari doesn't do anything drastic!!!
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werty
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Thu, Mar 02 2023, 8:44 pm
Yes. I just wish they'd write it more subtly , so that people get that manipulation and narcissism isn't always so overt...
Like , this week he says , no! Let's go there! Even though she asked not to.
But I think irl controllers would be more like" but I already planned it, do you not care about the time I invested" type of thing. Guilting, and gaslighting re who's being self centered.
Irl abusers can be much more confusing than it looks in the serial.
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amother
Aconite
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Thu, Mar 02 2023, 8:54 pm
It was scary how he suddenly swerved into the gas station ans said, "You want to go for a walk?? How about right here!!"
I feel like he's gonna leave her there and she will need her friends to come get her
He's unhinged!!!
Maybe he's Bella's younger brother from the Ami Take 2 serial 
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amother
NeonBlue
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Thu, Mar 02 2023, 9:40 pm
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Can I read this on the Mishpacha web?
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amother
Aconite
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Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:03 pm
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birdie1
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Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:12 pm
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Ugh. Who does he think he is? I hope she tells the Shanahan the truth.
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amother
Aconite
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Wed, Mar 08 2023, 1:02 pm
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werty
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Wed, Mar 08 2023, 1:31 pm
Thank you!
Wow she does such a good job of showing what gaslighting looks like
😢😢
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Chayalle
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Wed, Mar 08 2023, 1:32 pm
I thought the part about single vs. beanie getting more sales attention was odd.
If anything, many single girls have savings and want to look good for shidduchim, etc...and have a spending budget that may be more generous than married women who have living expenses (aren't living at home, etc...)
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amother
Seafoam
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Wed, Mar 08 2023, 1:49 pm
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Please don't share this week's chapter details 🙈 I like to read it Friday night
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amother
Winterberry
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Wed, Mar 08 2023, 2:04 pm
| Chayalle wrote: | I thought the part about single vs. beanie getting more sales attention was odd.
If anything, many single girls have savings and want to look good for shidduchim, etc...and have a spending budget that may be more generous than married women who have living expenses (aren't living at home, etc...) |
Yes. Sales ladies pay attention to people they think are going to buy. They don’t care if they’re single or married.
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amother
Denim
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Wed, Mar 08 2023, 7:00 pm
| Chayalle wrote: | I thought the part about single vs. beanie getting more sales attention was odd.
If anything, many single girls have savings and want to look good for shidduchim, etc...and have a spending budget that may be more generous than married women who have living expenses (aren't living at home, etc...) |
True point. The actual reason why older single girls often stay away from frum clothing stores aren't because of salesladies ignoring them, it's because of other customers shopping there who stare, make comments, and just generally make them feel uncomfortable (or people who know them and obviously ignore them because they feel awkward and don't know how to talk to them). Somehow, the pitfalls of unexpected and awkward encounters always seemed more intense than running into other frum stores like groceries or such.
Just a funny anecdote, once I was maybe in my early 30s, and happened to be visiting in another (I'll leave it nameless, but it is quite a large one) frum community in a different state. I had an extra pocket of time and decided to try shopping in a frum ladies store because I figured what were the chances I'd bump into anyone I knew, and I'd just be an anonymous shopper and I could actually look through racks of frum clothing in relative anonymity without worrying about an awkward exchange. OMG, I never experienced such staring in my life. Clearly, I was not from around there, clearly I was not a young unmarried girl, obviously I was an "older single". The women there literally stopped looking through the racks and just stared at me when I came in. You could almost see the wheels turning in their brain, who was I, how old was I, why would I be there, maybe I was visiting to go out with an older guy and if so, who???
(all of the above is why the author needs to do more research)
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amother
Steel
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Sun, Mar 12 2023, 5:16 am
| amother Denim wrote: | True point. The actual reason why older single girls often stay away from frum clothing stores aren't because of salesladies ignoring them, it's because of other customers shopping there who stare, make comments, and just generally make them feel uncomfortable (or people who know them and obviously ignore them because they feel awkward and don't know how to talk to them). Somehow, the pitfalls of unexpected and awkward encounters always seemed more intense than running into other frum stores like groceries or such.
Just a funny anecdote, once I was maybe in my early 30s, and happened to be visiting in another (I'll leave it nameless, but it is quite a large one) frum community in a different state. I had an extra pocket of time and decided to try shopping in a frum ladies store because I figured what were the chances I'd bump into anyone I knew, and I'd just be an anonymous shopper and I could actually look through racks of frum clothing in relative anonymity without worrying about an awkward exchange. OMG, I never experienced such staring in my life. Clearly, I was not from around there, clearly I was not a young unmarried girl, obviously I was an "older single". The women there literally stopped looking through the racks and just stared at me when I came in. You could almost see the wheels turning in their brain, who was I, how old was I, why would I be there, maybe I was visiting to go out with an older guy and if so, who???
(all of the above is why the author needs to do more research) |
That was your experience. I hate it when people think we need to write generic cliched stories, when everyone had different life experiences. If it doesn't ring true for you, so then take a peek into someone else's life. Who said the author isn't an older single herself?
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amother
Daylily
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Sun, Mar 12 2023, 8:33 pm
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I don’t like the where the story is going. He’s getting her all confused. She’s doubting herself and her mother is encouraging it.
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momallhours
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Sun, Mar 12 2023, 9:17 pm
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Confused, what happened to his chavrusa texting the shadchan?
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amother
Aconite
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Sun, Mar 12 2023, 9:21 pm
| momallhours wrote: | | Confused, what happened to his chavrusa texting the shadchan? |
It seems that the author conveniently forgot about that little detail 😂
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momallhours
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Sun, Mar 12 2023, 9:36 pm
| amother Aconite wrote: | | It seems that the author conveniently forgot about that little detail 😂 |
Thought so, was hoping there was a better answer though!
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amother
Aconite
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Tue, Mar 21 2023, 9:21 pm
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