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juggling
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 Thu, Mar 30 2023, 3:28 am
| amother Denim wrote: | True point. The actual reason why older single girls often stay away from frum clothing stores aren't because of salesladies ignoring them, it's because of other customers shopping there who stare, make comments, and just generally make them feel uncomfortable (or people who know them and obviously ignore them because they feel awkward and don't know how to talk to them). Somehow, the pitfalls of unexpected and awkward encounters always seemed more intense than running into other frum stores like groceries or such.
Just a funny anecdote, once I was maybe in my early 30s, and happened to be visiting in another (I'll leave it nameless, but it is quite a large one) frum community in a different state. I had an extra pocket of time and decided to try shopping in a frum ladies store because I figured what were the chances I'd bump into anyone I knew, and I'd just be an anonymous shopper and I could actually look through racks of frum clothing in relative anonymity without worrying about an awkward exchange. OMG, I never experienced such staring in my life. Clearly, I was not from around there, clearly I was not a young unmarried girl, obviously I was an "older single". The women there literally stopped looking through the racks and just stared at me when I came in. You could almost see the wheels turning in their brain, who was I, how old was I, why would I be there, maybe I was visiting to go out with an older guy and if so, who???
(all of the above is why the author needs to do more research) |
How would people know you weren't married? Depends on the community, but if someone obviously over 30 doesn't have her hair covered they probably thought you were modern or not frum. Which would explain the staring (even though of course staring isn't okay) - nothing to do with being married or not, you just looked like you didn't belong.
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Java
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Wed, May 10 2023, 12:25 pm
This serial is moving further and further away from realism
I know it's fiction but it's still starting to get to me
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BusyMama1
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Thu, May 11 2023, 10:30 am
| amother Daphne wrote: | SPOILER ALERT
SPOILER ALERT
I’ve always appreciated the fact that frum dating has us agreeing to marry the person prior to the public proposal, if there is a public proposal. He really entrapped her and it’s awful. She better break the engagement.
SPOILER ALERT
SPOILER ALERT |
Anyone else feel like there's no way they are going to actually get married?
I'm just wondering how the breakup will go.
I think this story is getting stranger and stranger IMO
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Chayalle
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Thu, May 11 2023, 10:41 am
| amother Daphne wrote: | SPOILER ALERT
SPOILER ALERT
I’ve always appreciated the fact that frum dating has us agreeing to marry the person prior to the public proposal, if there is a public proposal. He really entrapped her and it’s awful. She better break the engagement.
SPOILER ALERT
SPOILER ALERT |
Agree. The very public, spontaneous, unexpected proposal is as red a flag as it gets. It puts her on the spot and makes it difficult for her to refuse a proposal she hadn't agreed to yet.
I happen to know someone who was pushed into a proposal by the girl's side! Her family set it up such that he found himself roped into an engagement he hadn't intended. He broke it off.
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juggling
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Sun, May 14 2023, 1:01 am
| BusyMama1 wrote: | Anyone else feel like there's no way they are going to actually get married?
I'm just wondering how the breakup will go.
I think this story is getting stranger and stranger IMO |
There is no way they're going to get married. It just wouldn't work well for the format of the story. There are obvious red flags. If she ignores it and they get married and we don't see what's next, there's no resolution. And it would be too drawn-out to focus on their messy marriage journey, after this whole long dating story. At some point in the next few chapters he will do something awful and she will break it off.
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birdie1
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Sun, May 14 2023, 10:54 am
| juggling wrote: | | There is no way they're going to get married. It just wouldn't work well for the format of the story. There are obvious red flags. If she ignores it and they get married and we don't see what's next, there's no resolution. And it would be too drawn-out to focus on their messy marriage journey, after this whole long dating story. At some point in the next few chapters he will do something awful and she will break it off. |
I'm kind of afraid of what he will do to her reputation if she breaks it off.
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