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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 11:39 am

We live in a development with a lot of kids and there are always little cliques that form and dissolve from day to day. Not really mean yet because they are little but learning how to start excluding and be mean. If I hear a kid say to my dc you stink or you’re stupid or you’re dumb…what is my job to do? Not say anything and take my child away? Stand up for dc? I don’t want them to think their mother isn’t standing up for them when people are making fun of them but I also don’t want to yell at other kids.
The other parents are not around at these times

amother

Denim

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 1:52 pm

Call the mother. Knock on their door.

imasinger

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 2:17 pm

How old is your kid? For some ages, it's worse if you get involved.

amother

Wine

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 2:29 pm

Always a hard balance... Living with many neighbors has it's challanges.

I think for younger kids get involved. Older kids I rather try to work with my own kid how to answer or avoid that kid rather than talking to that kid myself.

amother

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 2:30 pm

5/6 years old

amother

Jetblack

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 2:32 pm

Ask your kid after- are you stupid? And when she says no, tell her that no one can make her feel stupid.. And teach her skills like saying stop, that’s not ok to talk that way. Basically empower her so she can feel confident despite what ppl say, and teach her to stand up for herself. It can really help her if you do this from a young age..

amother

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 2:32 pm

amother Denim wrote:

Call the mother. Knock on their door.

I think where I live that’s considered off to do for minor meanness

amother

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 2:34 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

Thank you

cuffs

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 2:35 pm

I would tell the kid, that’s not a nice thing to say and tell my child you smell delicious

amother

Jean

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 2:36 pm

Oy so hard. I would tell the kid something like 'we only play nicely'

#BestBubby

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 3:20 pm

Yes, I would say to the Child

"You are not allowed to talk that way. It is a big Aveirah"

And then walk away with my child.

amother

Dandelion

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 3:26 pm

If the mother is receptive and you have a good relationship with her reach out to her via text or phone call. Don’t be accusatory just really what happened and ask her to talk to her daughter.

You can also empower your daughter. You can teach her how to answer back properly- that not a nice thing to say.
If it continues you should probably arrange for your daughter to play with other girls or invite girls from her class from time to time, it will give her strength and the other child will see that others like to play with your daughter.

You can try to have your daughter bring out a nosh or a fun toy to play with the others ( sidewalk chalk ball rope etc ) and that can create an feeling on inclusivity for all

behappy2

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 3:37 pm

That age I would tell the kid off and empower my kid at the same time. I wouldn't pull a kid away at that age unless you know it will escalate. I would try to help them both at the same time. Kids need gentle guidance at that age.

imasinger

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 3:38 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Yes, I would say to the Child

"You are not allowed to talk that way. It is a big Aveirah"

And then walk away with my child.

Way more mature than what I remember -- "I'm rubber and you're glue, everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you"!😃

#BestBubby

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 3:43 pm

imasinger wrote:

Way more mature than what I remember -- "I'm rubber and you're glue, everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you"!😃

I would teach my child to say that - then walk away!

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