Wwyd- TV at playgroup?

amother

Cerulean

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 3:19 pm

It’s not about making a big deal. It’s not a deal until you hear from the morah what the facts are.

You can just speak to her and find out and then decide what you want to do, if you want to do anything at all.

amother

Royalblue

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 3:25 pm

I saw this once in a playgroup. The teacher allowed about 15 minutes a day during the transition from lunch to naptime. Some kids would be finishing lunch, some where done and going to the bathroom and the ones that where done with the bathroom going to lay down.

There where two teachers - one had to be helping the kids in the bathroom, and the other was in the classroom cleaning up after the kids lunch, sending them to the teacher in the bathroom, and in charge of the kids laying down.....

It started getting very wild every day bec the teacher in the classroom wasn't able to do everything so they allowed the screen time for the kids who where done lunch and bathroom and where ready to nap....once the teacher in the bathroom was done helping all the kids and came back to the classroom, they shut it off.

amother

NeonBlue

Fri, Feb 03 2023, 3:32 pm

There is someone who runs a playgroup at her house and puts the tv on in the basement on a regular basis. She said she only does this when there are kids staying later, when her kids are home. I personally think this is something thay should be discussed, especially in a community where kids don't necessarily watch those shows at home, or tv at all.

I'm guessing your morah is also trying to get some down time, or maybe is trying to take care of extra stuff at that time. I feel like that alone is worrisome, that she's maybe too busy to deal with the kids and is using the tv to fill in for her. I would mention what your child told you, and just ask if the kids are watching tv there. Then I would ask about time and frequency. I would tell her that you really feel uncomfortable with it, and ask if she can stop. No matter how nice she is, your concern should still be number one for your child. I would also ask and shaila about whether the other parents should be notified.

amother

Seablue

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 12:45 pm

Just ask nicely - "my son mentioned he watched peppa pig, could you tell me how much screen time the kids are getting? We try and limit his total screen time, so if he is getting screen time at playgroup, I would want to factor that in to how much time we give him at home".

Not accusatory, just explanatory. This way, if it seems like really just once in a while, you can decide if you are ok with it, and if it is something regular, you can decide if you want to raise it as an issue but doesn't have to be right then.

essie14

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 12:50 pm

amother Seablue wrote:

I like this. You're not accusing her or saying it angrily. But you're completely right to know how much screen time he's getting in playgroup.

amother

Lightcoral

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 12:56 pm

If it were occasionally a little bit (15 min or so) of TV, not ideal, but I wouldn't make a big deal over it if everything else is good.

If everyday they are watching half an hour or more, or a few days they just watch for hours, that wouldn't ve okay and I'd take kid out.

amother

Stoneblue

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 1:06 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

It's hard for a mother to judge how long they're watching unless she speaks to morah!
I like the idea of asking how long does he watch....
You said it happened a while ago. Was it a one time event?

LovesHashem

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 1:29 pm

amother NeonBlue wrote:

She gets paid for kids who stay later. Can't handle the stress? Don't offer it. I'd also love to get paid to not actually work.

amother

Whitesmoke

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 5:10 pm

I personally wouldn't be okay with any screen time.
I wonder here, if all the younger kids are napping and he is awake and she lets him watch it because he isn't fitting the schedule?

amother

Razzmatazz

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 6:55 pm

dinglehopper wrote:

Honestly, if this was the person I trusted to safely care for my child with allergies, this would not be a big deal at all.

It's not about trusting the morah. It's about why is she shtupping them in front of a screen. She may be the safest morah out there but this is still not ok.

amother

Lotus

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 7:44 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Screen time is bad for kids.

Some mothers feel they need the TV/video babysitter for limited times.

But if you are paying for a babysitter, SHE should be entertaining the kids, and have plenty of
toys for them.

100% this. This is universal and has nothing to do with your hashkofic about screen time in general.

amother

Cognac

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 7:48 pm

I guess there's a variety of us here from different walks of life, but as a yeshivish person, I would be very bothered about my child watching peppa pig. I really limit what my kids watch and how much. Peppa pig is not something I would want my child to watch.
And I would want the morah to be upfront before I started, to say that I do some screentime with the kids. She might have a valid reason, but that should be communicated to me. I would expect for the money I pay that my child is entertained and played with, not sat in front of a screen. I send them out for stimulation, not babysitting in front of the screen.

amother

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 7:53 pm

I have a 5 year old son who went to this morah as well when he was little.
The last 2 years he has been in a regular school. But It has happened on some occasions, if he didn't have school, and the morah did have playgroup, that I would send him to the group to be a "helper".

On shabbos he told me that the morah lets them watch every day. He said he has watched Fireman Sam and Curious George there. He also described to me exactly where the TV is kept.

amother

Ginger

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:05 pm

Since you are sending to a morah that is really dealing with younger age group she may feel the need to turn something on for your son since there is no one his age to play with while she is taking care of younger kids.
Try to find a different morah for him so he will be in an age appropriate environment.

amother

NeonBlue

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:07 pm

amother Ginger wrote:

If there's a problem with age, the morah should bring that up with parents rather than just turning on the tv.

amother

Ginger

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:28 pm

amother NeonBlue wrote:

If there's a problem with age, the morah should bring that up with parents rather than just turning on the tv.

The op herself said that he is the only one that's verbal and is 3, so it's obvious he is in the wrong age group. Op decided that it's better for him to be in this group for other reasons. The morah should have double checked with the parent first, but alot of times if it's someone that you are close with you may think you know their standards and think they'll be fine with watching...

amother

Cognac

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:33 pm

amother NeonBlue wrote:

If there's a problem with age, the morah should bring that up with parents rather than just turning on the tv.

Agree. As a parent, I try and be mindful of the bigger picture and that although it might be easier for me to just give screentime, it's not long term good for my child. I feel like it's a cop-out for the morah to just put on the TV. If you don't know how to look after a child/ren, either do some training or change jobs.
I feel quite strongly about this. If you are a morah, it is your job to look after the children in your care and you are being paid for this. You can't just use screentime instead of playing with the children.
(FTR I do work in education, so I do have experience with educating and looking after children)