My 6 year old takes away my space

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amother

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 7:57 pm

I have a new thing that my 6 year old won't fall asleep until I myself go to bed. And she will come out of bed and make tons of noise. I feel like I dont have space for myself and no time to spend with husband. And ofcourse not taking babysitters. it's so so hard for me! I got meletonin but my husband doesnt let me give it to her. (Her doctor told me it's ok to give )

nelliesmellie

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:03 pm

Why not take a babysitter? She’s likely doing this to get your attention, and won’t give a babysitter a problem.

amother

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:06 pm

I had a babysitter one night (tried it out so just went local to pick something up) she came out of bed in the kitchen. As soon I hear shes in kitchen up making noise I cant enjoy myself anymore.

amother

Black

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:16 pm

Do you give her quality time in the day? Do you read her books before bed? Do you lay and chat with her before bed?

Do you think she is craving attention she may be lacking and finding bedtime even more lonely….?

It’ reminds of my kids telling me they’re starving before bed. I think they are so preoccupied playing that it doesn’t hit them until they have to go up and I believe they are hungry so I started offering more and more at dinner time and it’s helped them with not asking for food before going up

amother

Trillium

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:19 pm

amother Black wrote:

I second this.
Children not falling asleep and not sleeping well very very often comes from lack of connection. They need more quality time and they need to feel safe with their mother.

meeze

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:47 pm

amother Trillium wrote:

I second this.
Children not falling asleep and not sleeping well very very often comes from lack of connection. They need more quality time and they need to feel safe with their mother.

100% agree.
Op, had the same issue with my son.
I started a routine where I give him much more of my time before bed to connect with him, telling him stories in bed and of course making sure he isn't hungry before he brushes his teeth.
Also, another thing making sure the time he goes tp bed is really applicable. Example, if he just napped on the bus when coming home I try to wait a little for bedtime cause he's not that tired and still wants more play time.
Then I say shema in bed with him, big hug and kiss and "gitta nacht"
He stopped coming out of bed.
Also, btw, sticker charts helped a lot as well he he stayed in bed. Next day a sticker till a big prize.

amother

Lightgray

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 8:58 pm

It sounds like your dh takes away your space by not allowing melatonin.

amother

Black

Sat, Feb 04 2023, 9:10 pm

amother Lightgray wrote:

It sounds like your dh takes away your space by not allowing melatonin.

Medication isn’t an answer. It’s a numbing agent. If it’s lack of emotional connection. That would benefit the child more than a deep sleep long term. And sleep is very important

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