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Lakewood, NJ vs. NYC
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 4:55 pm
Long overwhelming story… please help. I adore South Bend. But the problems are stacking up and I can’t minimize them. Schools, services, low Medicaid cap, limited healthcare resources, no busing to the day school (I actually cried today when I found that out 😭), very low chance of remarriage if that ever gets onto my radar (I hope one day it will)…

I’m realizing our best chance is probably Lakewood or NYC. I’m devastated, but not seeing any way out.

What in the world is with NJ Medicaid? Can someone please explain it to me? How does it work, what is it called, I can’t make sense of it and I’m running on fumes. ETA is there a cap on resources? What if I have money I’m trying to use for a down payment eventually but obviously can’t in the tri state because it’s not enough?

Also, is Lakewood one of those places where you need a ton of money to make it? Are there scholarships? Will we even be accepted by the school and/or community? Are there other single parents? I get it that we’d have to stay within the borders of Lakewood township to get the right services. What about medical care? Do schools have buses? Is Lakewood actually diverse nowadays? How diverse? What is rent like? Zip code I should search to start getting an idea?

Same questions for anywhere NYC.

Im sinking into such a pit of despair I can’t even put words to it. Please help me.


Last edited by Kiwi13 on Mon, Feb 06 2023, 4:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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scruffy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 4:57 pm
I think NYC would be a better fit for you than Lakewood, in terms of diversity and services.

In addition, NY Medicaid is better than NJ Medicaid/ "Familycare".
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 4:58 pm
I have to bring up bayswayer again. I know a bunch of us feel it would be a good match. It’s big enough that u have all the nyc benefits but won’t swallow you up like Lakewood may. Also more diverse and I think you would enjoy the low key nice people.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 4:58 pm
scruffy wrote:
I think NYC would be a better fit for you than Lakewood, in terms of diversity and services.

In addition, NY Medicaid is better than NJ Medicaid/ "Familycare".

Agreed but lakewood had excellent schools for children who have special needs/accommodations
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 4:58 pm
scruffy wrote:
I think NYC would be a better fit for you than Lakewood, in terms of diversity and services.

In addition, NY Medicaid is better than NJ Medicaid/ "Familycare".


What is familycare? (This is where I got stuck in my research). Why is NY Medicaid better?
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 4:59 pm
It’s called Jersey care. A single mom with kids and no income should qualify easily. There are some schools that are more diverse. Look into tehilas chaya sara for your daughter. There are many single moms and lots of respirates available for that. I would look into the raintree area in Lakewood. It’s more diverse and less yeshivish and a very warm community. Contact this organization for guidance https://agudah.org/yahalom/
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scruffy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 4:59 pm
Kiwi13 wrote:
What is familycare? (This is where I got stuck in my research). Why is NY Medicaid better?


Medicaid is called Familycare in NJ.

There are better doctors who accept NY Medicaid vs NJ.
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amother
Tomato


 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:00 pm
I think nyc is probably better in terms of services

But I can answer that the zip in Lakewood is 08701

There is definitely more diversity in NYC. Lakewood ranges yeshivish to jpf, plus chasidim.
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:00 pm
amother Royalblue wrote:
I have to bring up bayswayer again. I know a bunch of us feel it would be a good match. It’s big enough that u have all the nyc benefits but won’t swallow you up like Lakewood may. Also more diverse and I think you would enjoy the low key nice people.


Bayswater is less overwhelming than Lakewood?? Remind me, is it on Long Island or in Queens?
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:00 pm
scruffy wrote:
I think NYC would be a better fit for you than Lakewood, in terms of diversity and services.

In addition, NY Medicaid is better than NJ Medicaid/ "Familycare".


Is this a feeling or facts? I was on both and barely saw a difference between the two.
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:02 pm
In bayswater you have access to Kahal, ivdu, kulanu, gesher etc also a new school is opening for kids with learning disabilities next year. Special children’s center is doing amazing things. My extended family for single parent homes. Achiezer will help navigate all insurance processes. Jccrp can help with food stamps etc. better access to good hospitals and drs than in Lakewood
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:02 pm
Also Lakewood is a heavy driving town. Is that an issue for you?
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amother
Royalblue


 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:03 pm
Kiwi13 wrote:
Bayswater is less overwhelming than Lakewood?? Remind me, is it on Long Island or in Queens?

Much much less overwhelming than Lakewood!! It’s in queens technically, but is next to far rock/five towns.
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Sebastian




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:03 pm
NJ has a lower medicaid cap than NY. Schools are rw yeshivish. No vouchers. Less services for autism without private insurance. Local hospitals are okay but not amazing like nyc.

You are really better off in Bkln. I know your stbx is an issue, but if he wants your kids in frum schools, thats your only choice.

Rent in lkwd is not that much cheaper than bklyn either. And you will have access to many many more resourcesl
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keym




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:05 pm
NJ FamilyCare is the NJ Medicaid program + the expanded Medicaid program for children in middle income families. Also known as JerseyCare.

A few issues with Lakewood.
1) very little public transportation

2) the local hospitals- Monmouth Medical Center Southern Campus and Brick Hospital are decent but don't have top doctors. And there's no public transportation to the better NJ hospitals.

3) there is bussing to private schools, but its not a guarantee. Many schools don't end up having their bussing picked up and they end up getting paid aid in lieu.

4) there is SCHI for special needs (cognitive delays) but not enough available for children with behavioral challenges.

5) Lakewood is not really diverse. It's mostly different levels of yeshivishness.
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Sebastian




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:08 pm
And rent in lakewood is pretty much the same as bkln right now. I dont know bayswater.

If you live in lkwd proper and you are 2 mi from school you get bussing. Jackson, toms river etc dont have bussing usually

You are really better off in nyc. The question is if you can convince your stbx.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:11 pm
Majority of schools have busing from out of Lakewood at this point.
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amother
Mistyrose


 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:12 pm
Sebastian wrote:
And rent in lakewood is pretty much the same as bkln right now. I dont know bayswater.

If you live in lkwd proper and you are 2 mi from school you get bussing. Jackson, toms river etc dont have bussing usually

You are really better off in nyc. The question is if you can convince your stbx.


Do you live in Lakewood?
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byisrael




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:15 pm
I Mentioned Twin Riveers NJ in a different post, but may be worth looking into.

Its about 25 minutes from Lakewood, super suburban, cheap, and more of a diverse community.
The biggest issue is that it is a bit of an older community, but I know they are bringing in more families. The rabbi's are great and hands on involved with the communities. Mercer County has really good special needs PS.
School is Shalom Torah Academy in nearby Morganville, which is a dayschool that fits you hashkaficly, or Edison/highland park with more options, or Lakewood. There are carpools or bussing to all these places.

You can purchase a 3 bed townhouse for about 300k.

I grew up there, and it isnt perfect but a LOT better then Lakewood ( where I went to school and visit often) and has the suburban feel you cant find in NYC.

Pm if you want more info
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missknowitall




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 06 2023, 5:17 pm
amother DarkKhaki wrote:
I Mentioned Twin Riveers NJ in a different post, but may be worth looking into.

Its about 25 minutes from Lakewood, super suburban, cheap, and more of a diverse community.
The biggest issue is that it is a bit of an older community, but I know they are bringing in more families. The rabbi's are great and hands on involved with the communities. Mercer County has really good special needs PS.
School is Shalom Torah Academy in nearby Morganville, which is a dayschool that fits you hashkaficly, or Edison/highland park with more options, or Lakewood. There are carpools or bussing to all these places.

You can purchase a 3 bed townhouse for about 300k.

I grew up there, and it isnt perfect but a LOT better then Lakewood ( where I went to school and visit often) and has the suburban feel you cant find in NYC.

Pm if you want more info


For someone to pm you, you need to post under your username. This is anonymous there is no way to send a pm.
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