Who stole my baby girl and replaced her with this stranger?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Mon, Feb 06 2023, 11:31 pm

First time parent of a teen here. Overnight she’s gone from sweet, naive and doting to disinterested (in us) and testing boundaries. I don’t like this part of parenting Crying

amother

Peach

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 12:12 am

Welcome to parenthood! Now you're going to see how your kids help u grow up! This is alot about them finding out who they are and in the meantime their friends are more important than we are! Just try not to ride the roller coaster with her. She will have her ups and downs and u and your husband need to try to remain steady. It's a lot of work! Is she rebellious or just testing?

amother

Dimgray

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 12:16 am

amother Peach wrote:

Well said!!!

essie14

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 1:58 am

amother

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 7:45 am

Thanks for the chizuk! She is not rebellious (yet), just testing. But it’s so disconcerting how she went from being a solid, relatively sheltered kid to just free-fall go along with whatever her friends are doing. And not interested in us at home Sad

She’s such a sweet, good kid;
I didn’t think she would go through this horrible stage.

amother

Lime

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 8:02 am

Uh huh. My dd was eerily perfect until she wasn't. Now she gets to go through the process with her own DD. Mwahahaha!

amother

Grape

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 8:04 am

I guess the same person who stole my once adorable baby boy. They thought I would be happy with the angry, rebellious teen they left me instead but I really want my baby boy back…

Eisheschayil123

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 10:05 am

Today it's very challenging for teens and a very confusing world! We have to always reassure them that we are always here to listen and try to connect with them in any way possible even if u might not be interested in their things, it's important to show interest so they feel valued. Never shame them for asking curious questions and tell them there is nothing that will push me away! Always here for u no matter what( even if they ddo things that u aren't comfortable with) they are yours forever. We have to be there as a stable force in their lives. Tell them u love them whenever you can !

amother

Darkblue

Tue, Feb 07 2023, 10:49 am

Always love them even if we don't love what they do. I try to show them that I am big enough to contain them, their feelings, thoughts, and issues. I imagine that if they saw their issues are too large for me to handle, they would be so insecure and feeling so alone, looking for someone else who can contain them.
Also they need to know that they are and will be responsible for their choices and actions. I tell them I will always be there to help them but I cannot always save them from their choices.
The one thing I find so important: they need to have an adult besides their parents who they respect and feel comfortable consulting with. This has saved me many times from being the bad guy saying no, and keeping our relationship positive.

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