Is it weird? | Imamother

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Is it weird?

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amother

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 3:56 am

I went through infertility for a number of years. Hashem in His infinite kindness sent a Jewish NP to be my shliach. She really puts her heart and soul into her job. It’s not like she’s there just for the money, but rather she’s so devoted that it’s obvious that she’s really there because she wants to help. I emailed her a couple of months ago when I gave birth and because my baby was in the nicu I found it to be extremely thoughtful on her end to email me a couple of days later to ask how he’s doing. I found out that she herself just had a baby. Is it weird if I email her Mazel tov? My friends that went through infertility say it is, but I don’t know if they know to what extent her devotion to me is… I’ve had it proven to me a number of times but prefer not to go into detail….

amother

Moonstone

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 4:08 am

If you feel throughout all your interactions that you've developed a personal relationship to any extent (you tell her about other things going on in your life, she maybe shares even basic things about hers with you) then I'd say go for it! If not, and it makes you uncomfortable, then I don't think she'll be offended if you don't reach out. I don't think she'll think it's weird if you do either, I think we tend to think others will think what we did was off when in reality they don't see it that way. I can't imagine being weirded out by someone emailing me a mazal tov even if we weren't close and haven't spoken for a while. But that's just me Smile

singleagain

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 4:51 am

When my PCP had a baby I think I sent a message of congratulations.

amother

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 12:13 pm

Thanks both. Yeh, my husband keeps saying, how weird could it be already to email someone Mazel tov?

amother

Foxglove

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 12:57 pm

I don’t think it’s weird at all. In fact you owe her Hakaras hatov, if I were you I would send a gift as well

amother

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 1:44 pm

amother Foxglove wrote:

I don’t think it’s weird at all. In fact you owe her Hakaras hatov, if I were you I would send a gift as well

I will bez”H buy a gift. I’m just a little tight financially right now, so at least would like to wish her Mazel tov.

amother

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 7:19 pm

Ok, so is this nice?
Dearest _________,
Just want to wish you Mazel tov on your new _______
I hope all is well!
May you see much nachas from him/her and from the rest of your family.
(I didn’t specify gender and I’m hoping to hide identifying details)

singleagain

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 7:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

Sounds perfect

amother

Wed, Feb 08 2023, 8:15 pm

singleagain wrote:

Sounds perfect

Great, thanks a lot!!

amother

Thu, Feb 09 2023, 1:12 am

I’m scheduling the email now to be sent out tomorrow… just thinking, should I write dearest _____ or hi ______,

singleagain

Thu, Feb 09 2023, 5:59 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m scheduling the email now to be sent out tomorrow… just thinking, should I write dearest _____ or hi ______,

However you would normally greet her.in previous comminution

amother

Amber

Thu, Feb 09 2023, 6:06 am

I think it’s kind generous and thoughtful of you
Doesn’t sound like a boundary violation in your case as you describe
Hugs and hatzlocha

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