Does your husband give you money

amother

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 10:31 pm

If you are a working woman and contributing to the family expenses does your husband give you money to spend and if yea..how much?

TravelHearter

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 10:35 pm

What does that even mean? Do you have extras at the end of the month to spend on whatever you want? Is that the money you were talking about? I’ve both worked and not worked and it was the same. We have a joint bank account and all finances are joint even though my husband deals with the bills. I make my personal spending decisions based on how we’re doing financially.

amother

Gold

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 10:36 pm

Huh? Why would either of us “give” the other one money? We both have equal access to our bank accounts and try to discuss large purchases before making them but neither one of us gives the other one money!

amother

Seagreen

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 10:37 pm

I never understood the concept of a husband "giving" his wife money. Like an allowance? We both have equal access and debit/credit cards.

amother

Oatmeal

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 10:37 pm

We both have CCs, the same check book, and access to the same cash. We are both responsible, communicate, and spend what we feel is appropriate. DH does not give me money, more does he question my spending.
This was true when I was a SAHM and he worked and now that my kids are older and I work.
The converse is also true. As when he was out of work and I was working, I didn’t question his spending either.

amother

Aconite

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 10:37 pm

we have separate accounts
my husbands paycheck pays for rent, his car, gas, tolls, insurance... theres nothing leftover at the end of the month.my paycheck pays for food, babysitter, shoppinng... I get whatever I want within reason if we have leftover at end of the month

NechaMom

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 10:38 pm

No.
We each have our own debit card from the joint bank account plus credit cards.
If I’m out of cash and can’t get to the bank when I need, I might ask him for some and vice versa.
How about you, op?

amother

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 10:47 pm

No he does not and I'm wondering if that's normal. He pays the rent, food, utilities and his car. I pay for everything else.. My clothing, babysitters, everything for kids etc.
We keep our accounts separate for various reasons. I'm wondering what he is obligated to provide for me in this case.

amother

Smokey

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 10:59 pm

amother OP wrote:

Why do you need him to give you money if you earn your own?

doodlesmom

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 11:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Do you want him to specifically give you from money he earns? Or do you want him to take care of more joint expenses? Who has more money left at the end of the month if any?

NechaMom

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 11:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

That sounds neat if it works for both of you. I don’t think there’s a blanket rule of whose money should go where. Every couple makes their life work according to their means.

amother

Seagreen

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 11:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

The arrangement you have is pretty common.
Min hatorah, He's obligated to provide you with food and clothing. But if you use the money you bring in for clothing, sitters..... then He's providing. Because the money you bring in is considered his according to the torah. So he's providing whatever he's obligated to provide.

NechaMom

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 11:19 pm

amother Clover wrote:

If I need to ask before I spend is that a problem

Does it bother you that you need to ask?
Do you ask about every $2 item you buy?
Why don’t you make a monthly budget of how much you’ll need and then spend as needed without asking every time?
For large unexpected expenses it’s normal to discuss.

amother

Rainbow

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 11:41 pm

We have equal access to the money both of us bring in. I pay the bills. We will check in before purchasing any extras

amother

Clover

Mon, Feb 13 2023, 11:49 pm

NechaMom wrote:

Does it bother you that you need to ask?Do you ask about every $2..
For large unexpected expenses it’s normal to discuss.

We shop together and he could say no to things I think I need
If he spends a big sum he needs to discuss?