Do you enjoy the prep for Purim?

gr82no

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:10 pm

I look forward to Purim the whole year. I think of a theme and costumes and how I’m going to make it . I think of a mm that matches the theme.
I do it for myself because I love it. I probably have one more year and then my oldest will have an opinion so I’ll do what he wants.
Am I the only one who really enjoys doing it and does it because I want it? I didn’t grow up with doing a theme and I don’t do it because of peer pressure. I give mm to about five people.

seeker

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:32 pm

I need a third choice for "other." Some things I enjoy, some less so. Some years I have enjoyed more, some less, often depends what else is going on in my life, lately it seems to sneak up on me in a way that feels kind of unsettling...

I think I enjoyed it more when my kids were younger. Now my preparation has to include trying to be the right level of empathetic and validating to teens and preteens who think everything we do is nerdy or not good enough and also want to be everywhere at the same time, and be somewhat present for them while at the same time trying to tune it out because I don't want to absorb the negativity.

I'm pretty chill and not too stressed out but I don't feel like I'm really taking deep joy in it either. I'd like to work on that. This year I was going through some stuff in the last couple of months so I'm settled for being prepared enough technically and not going to stress about the mood too, I pulled myself together enough and I'll try to make the most of it as it comes. Maybe some other year I'll be more into it, I don't know.

amother

NeonOrange

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:39 pm

amother Electricblue wrote:

I look forward to purim- davening and connecting to Hashem and doing the mitzvos hayom, its a real special day with so much opportunity, if only we'd all tune in properly and take advantage

You didn't address the prep part that the OP was asking about.

Davening on Purim is amazing - but who has the time?! It's such a busy day with the MM and costumes and seudah...

I HATE the prep. I wish we could be in shul all day and daven. That would be awesome.

I host the Seudah, I make the MM, I dress the kids... So much to do for such a busy day, and then I don't even have time to do the most important part, the davening?! It feels so unfair.

amother

Whitesmoke

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 10:47 pm

amother NeonOrange wrote:

I wake up very early to daven and say tehillim. It's my only time to do it. Then the day overtakes you! Especially if you have little of kids, hosting.
I make a few reminders about mincha ( I check the earliest I could daven mincha that day) And I really try to do it. I once joked how I wish I could sometimes lock myself in the bathroom and daven a mincha LOL

Once the kids see my siddur its like Mommy we need you.... ( They could also bang the bathroom door down, but I think you get what I'm trying to say)

amother

Darkblue

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 11:02 pm

I never really know what to give for mm that makes me look respectable. Last few years I just give the same thing but I see that many people give much classier mm. I feel a little out of it because I don’t know how to present things in a classy or trendy way. I don’t do themes. My kids prepare their own mm with themes and costumes to match. They are very into it and I buy them almost whatever they want. My girls have told me that they wish our family would give cuter or nicer things. I feel bad for them because I know what they mean but I just don’t have that creative streak. My mother used to give a grape juice bottle, an orange and a hamantaschen! These days her mm is a drop better but that’s how I grew up…
Tonight I was shopping in a large Jewish grocery store and it was chaotic. People were piling their wagons with all types of candies and sodas… next week every family will be looking to get rid of it all.. it’s too much commotion and pressure for me. Sometimes I wish we could go away for Purim to a pressure free community but my husband would never be on board. He loves the action here.

gr82no

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 11:19 pm

seeker wrote:

I meant to add it don’t know what happened. Not gonna bother a mod to fix it
So my oldest is under two but I imagine in ten years it will be stressful for each kid to figure out what they are being but I like making costumes. I hope my kids will always be happy with homemade costumes if not we’ll figure it out then.
I also spend time saying tehillem and daveming in the morning- there’s a special feeling in the air.
But I really enjoy the whole prep. I also give a possibly nerdy mm I couldn’t care less because it fits with my theme and I enjoyed making it and it fulfills the requirements.

seeker

Thu, Mar 02 2023, 11:39 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

I never really know what to give for mm that makes me look respectable. Last few years I just give the same thing but I see that many people give much classier mm. I feel a little out of it because I don’t know how to present things in a classy or trendy way. I don’t do themes. My kids prepare their own mm’s with themes and costumes to match. They are very into it and I buy them almost whatever they want. My girls have told me that they wish our family would give cuter or nicer things. I feel bad for them because I know what they mean but I just don’t have that creative streak. My mother used to give a grape juice bottle, an orange and a hamantaschen! These days her mm’s is a drop better but that’s how I grew up…
Tonight I was shopping in a large Jewish grocery store and it was chaotic. People were piling their wagons with all types of candies and sodas… next week every family will be looking to get rid of it all.. it’s too much commotion and pressure for me. Sometimes I wish we could go away for Purim to a pressure free community but my husband would never be on board. He loves the action here.

If the girls want the family to give something cuter, give them your budget and let them do it!

You'll have to close your ears when they whine that you need a higher budget maybe.

amother

Cherry

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 5:05 am

amother Darkblue wrote:

I love your post.

You expressed my feelings so well. Thanks.
I feel validated.

I love the nice classy shlach monos and the cute themed costumes but I just cannot pull it off!!.
And its just so much pressure!!!

amother

NeonBlue

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 5:54 am

Not much enjoyment unfortunately but definitely a lot of pressure. Not one of my favorite yomim tovim. I often feel like I'm missing the point but don't see how the things we do lead to the point anyway. Don't get how the excessive drinking, firecrackers in the street, forced appreciation/tipping is holy. Every year I feel like the day goes by and I have the feeling that something precious has come and gone but it was too fleeting for me to grasp.

amother

Ecru

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 9:12 am

amother Darkblue wrote:

I don't think you need to be creative in order to pull off a classy looking mishloach manos.
For example, you can buy the J&J cappuccinos and give it with 2 individually wrapped pastries to go. Put in cellophane bag and tie a ribbon around it. If you want to add more, put in a chocolate bar. Beautiful and classy!

amother

Ecru

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 9:14 am

amother NeonBlue wrote:

That's because it's a very auspicious day to daven. Daven daven daven!!!

I happen to really enjoy the prep, Purim is one of my favorite holidays. It's not a contradiction to davening though. The prep occurs in advance, and while of course purim is busy with the mitzvos of the day, it's so important to carve out time to daven.

amother

Darkblue

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 11:19 am

amother Ecru wrote:

Yes, I do something almost like this!
But I’m receiving many store bought professional looking ones so my homemade mm seems like a poor attempt at trying to be classy.

amother

DarkYellow

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 11:29 am

gr82no wrote:

I loved it for years when I was able to be creative and do themes etc.
My kids grew . My DH wanted me to make more traditional MM and I’m not going to lie , Purim has become hard for me.
I feel like I am suppressing a part of me. I do use my creativity instead with writing thank you poems . For example this year I volunteered and wrote about 15 different poems for the School MM for all the staff and faculty at my kids school. I’ve done it for a few of my kids schools over the years when they ask.
My kids are mostly MIA on Purim, going collecting etc . So I don’t even see them for the most part . I was feeling sad , so DH invited his family to my Purim Seuda. At least I’ll be able to use my creative abilities with my cooking and set up. It will make me feel like I’m doing something enjoyable and fun.
But I definitely had more fun and enjoyed the Purim prep when I was able to do themes , matching costumes etc. Now I look at the photo albums of years gone by.

amother

Tangerine

Fri, Mar 03 2023, 12:51 pm

I love purim. The prep. The day. The costumes. Mishloach manos. All of it.

I have fond memories of it when I was a child. My name is Esther and I connect very deeply to the story of the Megilla.

I don't go overboard on any of it. My kids dress up how they like. If I can do a theme, I will. If not, whatever. I make homemade stuff. I give some people- like 20. The day is busy but not crazy at all. Maybe that's why I like it as well.

amother

Mulberry

Sat, Mar 04 2023, 8:20 pm

It's my favorite holiday. Inspiration arrives at random times throughout the year--one day a shoebox may reveal itself as a potential funny hat, any nice gift container is evaluated for possible reuse as a MM package, etc. etc. Purimspiels may start out with one line or one stanza and not be completed till years later--inspiration comes when it will and not on demand. For quite a few years I participated in a women's megillah reading/chagigah. Like many other things, Covid killed that, and Purim hasn't been the same since. One day I hope to learn to lein the whole megillah and read for shut-in women who can't get to a public reading, but that'll take quite a bit of effort. I don't learn as quickly as I used to.