Sending your kids on a plane unaccompanied

Apple pie

Sun, Jun 22 2008, 4:26 pm

So in the light of the raging debate of sending away the kids after giving birth or not, I thought I would throw this question around:

What do you think about sending children unaccompanied (with a steward)?

We've done it a few times for short flights, not more than 3 hours (to visit their grandparents at times when neither me not dh could travel).

Children were 5 and 7 the first time.

Before doing it, we thought a lot. At first the idea was shocking to me. But then, I thought about my kids personalities, they are very independent and manage very well, they speak a few languages (the language of both countries they were flying from and to), and when we asked them, they were very excited and did not have any problems.

I think it was also a matter of preparation: we made it into an exciting trip, prepared with them all the procedure, went over each of the things that will happen to them, packed for each one nosh, books to read, small games, and coloring books.

Also, they had each other for company and support.

The trips were beautiful and we always had great feedback from the flight attendants (and from the kids themselves).

What is my point: before, if I would hear about someone sending her 5 and 7 year old kids by themselves on a plane, I would have thought: she is crazy and irresponsible.

BUT, it worked beautifully for my kids.

Again, for some other kids, it would be a disaster.

What I'm trying to say is that different things work for different people, and that it's difficult to judge or to give blanket statement such as "poor kids" "they must feel abandoned" etc.

What do y'all think?

ss321

Sun, Jun 22 2008, 4:35 pm

I think youre a terrible mother and your kids, nebuch, must be deprived of alot.
JK.
I did it when I was a kid (to visit my grandparents) when I was 5. it was so exciting and what an experience. you have to know your kids. if they can handle it, good 4 u and even better for them!!!

amother

Sun, Jun 22 2008, 4:39 pm

I totally agree with you - it's not a "one size fits all" when we're talking about children.

Another example is sleep away summer camp. My oldest went for a week the summer before 5th grade and 4 weeks the following summer. I asked the camp director what age camp begins, and he said 2nd grade. At first I was totally shocked, but then I started to think about it. Although I personally wouldn't do it before the ages I set for my oldest, I could see the younger ones, if they were all going together along with their older brother, going and having a good time in 3rd/4th grade. Like I said, I feel uneasy about it and so would never do it, but I suspect it has more to do with my feelings than it does with my children.

Rutabaga

Sun, Jun 22 2008, 4:47 pm

I have been sent as an unaccompanied minor between NY and Toronto and NY and Miami to visit grandparents. It's really no big deal. The flight attendants take special care of a child and will only release him/her to the people specified by the parents. It was kind of fun, actually. I felt very grown up. Before security got so strict, my parents used to come to the gate with me and see if they could find someone Jewish on the same flight to keep an eye on me as well. Once, after security became so strict that they wouldn't let anyone without a ticket past a certain point, my father bought a refundable ticket so he could come to the gate with me!

yo'ma

Sun, Jun 22 2008, 5:20 pm

I wouldn't send my kids on the plane by themselves, but then again, the flight would be 11 hours. I went from NY to California by myself when I was 7.
Now that, that is said, you can't compare the 2, sending your child away when a baby is born to this. Also when parents go on vacation and the children are sent elsewhere. The biggest difference is, THE BABY, that's the whole point. The other child might feel that they are being pushed aside, the baby gets all the attention. With them going away or parents taking a vacation, the only one to be jealous of, is parents taking a vacation that they don't get to go with.
The only reason why I mentioned the above is because the op did.

Apple pie

Sun, Jun 22 2008, 5:44 pm

I agree that the 2 cases are very different, that's why I started a different thread.

My point though was different:

Quote:

What is my point: before, if I would hear about someone sending her 5 and 7 year old kids by themselves on a plane, I would have thought: she is crazy and irresponsible.

BUT, it worked beautifully for my kids.

Again, for some other kids, it would be a disaster.

What I'm trying to say is that different things work for different people, and that it's difficult to judge or to give blanket statement such as "poor kids" "they must feel abandoned" etc.

greenfire

Sun, Jun 22 2008, 5:47 pm

it cost extra here - even for my 14 year old ... one way she was well taken care of and the other way they were absolutely mean ...

I think everything is dependent upon the specific kid and the situation as well as how often the parents speak to the child and what other things are happening in the family dynamics ... they do not want to feel left out of s/t big or not able to speak to you ...

good thought though as to the differences - I also think age and perception play a big part ...

Atali

Sun, Jun 22 2008, 6:25 pm

How does this work for an international flight? I can understand sending kids on a domestic flight by themselves, but how can small children appropriately fill out customs forms and know what to say to the customs officials, etc.

And what if they are detained by customs for some reason (such as a visa issue)?

manhattanmom

Sun, Jun 22 2008, 7:59 pm

Regarding the whole thing--It also depends on the particular airline. A few years ago, my sister, brother, and cousin who were ages 17, 16, and 13 flew to visit some family for Yom Tov. They flew Delta on the way there and were not considered minors--they were able to come and go without a flight attendant responsible for them. They were fine.
On the way home, however they flew Continental and because my brother was 13 they considered him to be a minor (age 14 was their cutoff) and my cousin was only 17--not 18 so he couldn't be "responsible" for him. So when my aunt brought them to the airport, she got a special pass to bring them to the gate, had to pay $60.00 and had to sign consent forms. A stewardess sat with them the entire flight and wouldn't release them until my father came to meet them at the plane itself. And they were pretty mature teenagers who were quite miserable about it!

zufriedene

Thu, Jun 26 2008, 9:54 am

very , very interesting thread, in 1966 ny parents send me and my brother aged 12 and 13, to Israel to visit our grandparents ,the flight made a stop over in Paris, we were in flight nearly 24 hours, in the pre cellphone age it was unheard of, I realy cant figure out how they did it, since then I hate flights even though I tried 5 different kinds of therapy to overcome that incident. consult with your kids before u send them off!

Imaonwheels

Thu, Jun 26 2008, 1:18 pm

Mine also went precellphone. The only issue we had was the stewardess took them during stopover to McDonalds and dd chose to sit with her younger bro outside rather than go in. I learned then that to write on the same large card that they werar that said in large letters "I speak Hebrew and very little English " I only eat kosher".