Bris at home- is it still done?

amother

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 5:05 pm

Iyh expecting my fourth boy in a couple of months. In the past, the biggest stress for me was having to be somewhere out of the house, dressed and ready early in the morning. My youngest son was born towards the end of 2020, and due to Covid, and we made a Bris in front yard and had the meal in the house. It was so so so much more pleasant for me as the 1 week postpartum mom.

I would love to make a bris at home again this time but not sure if this is done, or if it’s a weird thing to do…
Anyone know someone who’s done this recently or have an opinion on it?

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 5:18 pm

For sure if the Bris is Shabbos, but if not, I don't see an issue with it as long as the crowd is small enough to fit in your house. I've seen it done in a weekday where the davening is in shul and then immediate family and the mohel go back to the house for the actual bris and seudah. It's your simcha, you do you!!

amother

Offwhite

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 5:20 pm

Shabbos, succos, pesach. Also shavuos.

In some chassidish circles the mother stays home. Makes a lot of sense.

It doesn't matter what others do. You do you.

Elfrida

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 5:28 pm

We did it for my nephews bris, but that was close to fifteen years ago. They had moved a month earlier, and wanted to combine the bris with a chanukat habayit. (Also, having just brought a house, they didn't gave much money to spare for renting halls.) Whatever the reasons, it was a very nice simcha and easier for both the mother and the older children.

amother

Geranium

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 5:30 pm

If you have the space, why on earth not?

My fancy cousins just did one at home.

Most people I know do in a hall or shul but I say go for it!

amother

Molasses

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 5:34 pm

I’ve done mine all at home - except a Shabbos bris.
It’s so much easier to stay home then to leave the house. The older kids are calmer too.
Upshern, girls kiddish and more.

brightness

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 6:10 pm

If you have the space and all the cleaning up after doesn't fall on you ,then why not? It's your simcha, do as you please!

schoolbus

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 6:11 pm

It’s beautiful to make at home. And as a side note it’s a big zechus eliyahu hanavi coming to your house

amother

Purple

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 6:13 pm

Why not? My neighbor just did theirs at home last week. It was not weird at all. My parents made three of my nephews at their house. Not weird at all. I would do it....

SweetMouse

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 9:31 pm

My good friend has very little family from both sides, and the few people she has live very far away. She finds her simchas hard because they tend to be empty in even a small simcha hall. She hosted her son's bris at home and felt so much more comfortable. Other people talked, but she did what felt right for her.
As a side, the baby had some medical complications and they didn't know if the bris would be on time until the last minute. Hosting it at home removed the pressure of worrying about losing the hall and catering deposit.

clowny

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 9:41 pm

amother Chartreuse wrote:

That's what we did. Was so beautiful and easy.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Mar 05 2023, 11:27 pm

My friend makes all her brissim (and upsherins, bar mitzvahs ,etc) at home - and it's not even a big house!

But she loves it, she has good taste, and it fits her budget, and I have never ever heard anyone grumble about it. We have the best time at her parties.

amother

Begonia

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 2:06 am

We made my baby's bris in the shul across the street from my parent's house right after davening, and then had the seudah in their house after that. It was beautiful... And the pidyon haben was also in their house... and so was my shabbos sheva brachos. They don't have such a massive house at all, but we didn't have a lot of people by shabbos sheva brachos, and we moved a lot of furniture.
For the pidyon haben and the bris, we had men in the living room/dining room, and the ladies in the kitchen.

Alternative

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 2:27 am

You do what is good for you.
Personally it would stress me out more to make sure the house was party-ready. Even with a dh who cleans a lot, and even if I took cleaning help that day - there are lots of details that often only the hostess notices.
Also I wouldn’t do it if the women had to be put in the kitchen. (As a pp mentioned).

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 2:50 am

amother Offwhite wrote:

Shabbos, succos, pesach. Also shavuos.

In some chassidish circles the mother stays home. Makes a lot of sense.

It doesn't matter what others do. You do you.

This is the case in my circle (chassidish). Mother is not expected to be at bris at all. I can't imagine going out 1 week pp to any event, let alone my own. It's also less "traumatizing" for mother in her sensitive state. (Even if she knows what's being done (obviously) it's different than seeing and hearing everything. )

I do understand others may feel differently about it, and there definitely is beauty in having the mother being there and praying or just even being there, and others will not want to miss it for anything in the world.