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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
No child care tonight & womens reading @ 9:30pm - sexist?
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amother
Beige


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:21 am
Firstly, you don't fast if you have a baby.
2nd, can you not find an earlier megilla to go to?
I live in England and my dh and boys are there now, I'm going about 30 mins after they get home at 8.15. Why do you have to go to your shul? They do loads of smaller readings in peoples houses here. I assume they have that where you live too? Find one that suits you, ask around on groups, ask friends etc.
A freilichen purim!
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amother
Linen


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:21 am
amother OP wrote:
I think you missed the point. lots of shuls have child care at the main reading after maariv so the whole family -- men, women, kids old enough to hear megilah -- can go together and all hear megilah, eat the breakfast, and socialize.

I have never heard of a shul having childcare at the regular megillah reading.
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amother
Cyclamen


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:29 am
I personally would never send my little kids to a random group babysitting situation at bedtime.

I’ve also struggled to stay up til 9/10 to hear megilla when I had a baby waking up all night so those years my husband davened maariv then came home before megilla so I could hear the first reading then he went to the 9/10 one. Our Rav said it was fine for him to break his fast so I could hear Megillah
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amother
Daylily


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:30 am
My Shul has kids programs. For kids 3-5 yrs old, there’s a magician. For kids 1st grade and up kids megilla reading - very noisy.
The teens minyan have there own reading where one of the older teen reads ( yes they are trained to Lein, even Torah reading on Shabbat)
The main minyan has 2 back to back readings

Kids under 3 have no childcare but the parent is welcome to sit with them at the magic show or at the kids megilla reading
Parents need to switch off to watch the babies under 3 yrs old.
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amother
Eggplant


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:30 am
I think childcare for megilla is a great idea. OP, why don't you sponsor it? I'm sure the reason they don't have it is because either no one thought of it or can pay for it. But why sexist?

OP, are you a new mom? I feel for you. Hugs.
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amother
Mocha


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:40 am
Within the MO community, the setup OP describes sends a message in my opinion. It communicates that this is a more right wing shul that values social gender separation and considers women's participation in shul activities a low priority for which minimal accommodation is sufficient. Some people who are MO prefer that, but many find it a turnoff, whether they call it s-xist or something else.

Outside the MO community, I think these two things are basically a given and don’t bother too many people.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:49 am
amother OP wrote:
I think you missed the point. lots of shuls have child care at the main reading after maariv so the whole family -- men, women, kids old enough to hear megilah -- can go together and all hear megilah, eat the breakfast, and socialize.


I never heard of child care provided at the shul for megilla. Our shul has kids attend the megilla reading. Everyone survives
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amother
Melon


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:55 am
amother OP wrote:
shul doesn't have child care / babysitting tonight for the megilah reading and is having a women's reading at 9:30pm? is this sexist and offensive? I've got a baby and I get woken up at 4am every night they expect me go back out at 9:30pm for the megillah reading after the men already had their reading, had their fun breakfast buffet, socialized and danced, etc.? women have to fast but don't even get to partake in the breakfast buffet?


Are the women not invited to the "main reading" in your shul?
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Busybee5




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:56 am
amother Melon wrote:
Are the women not invited to the "main reading" in your shul?


What should she do with her little kids?
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amother
Birch


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:57 am
amother OP wrote:
I think you missed the point. lots of shuls have child care at the main reading after maariv so the whole family -- men, women, kids old enough to hear megilah -- can go together and all hear megilah, eat the breakfast, and socialize.


Not one shul I know has childcare. I go to later reading and tomorrow to early reading cause that works for me .
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amother
Opal


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 11:59 am
Busybee5 wrote:
What should she do with her little kids?


I take my kids to the main reading. Many people do.
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amother
Arcticblue


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:01 pm
amother OP wrote:
I think you missed the point. lots of shuls have child care at the main reading after maariv so the whole family -- men, women, kids old enough to hear megilah -- can go together and all hear megilah, eat the breakfast, and socialize.



Idk where you get off saying most Shuls. If you know of a shul that has babysitting … go there! I have no idea what shul around me has childcare.
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amother
Birch


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:01 pm
amother Opal wrote:
I take my kids to the main reading. Many people do.


No shul bans kids that I know if but if kids are noisy you need to leave I know people who risk it with lots of junk in tow and bottles it works well.
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amother
Melon


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:02 pm
Busybee5 wrote:
What should she do with her little kids?


Bring them?

what I found 's@xist' is that the 9:30 reading is Women Only. Let the couple decide who goes to the "main event" and who goes to the 'second reading'.
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amother
Mocha


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:04 pm
flowerpower wrote:
I never heard of child care provided at the shul for megilla. Our shul has kids attend the megilla reading. Everyone survives

With a small infant, I might try my luck that baby will sleep through. I would not even bother trying to come with a toddler.
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amother
Opal


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:04 pm
amother Melon wrote:
Bring them?

what I found 's@xist' is that the 9:30 reading is Women Only. Let the couple decide who goes to the "main event" and who goes to the 'second reading'.


She didn't say it's for women only.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:04 pm
Op I get it. I've got 2 young kids and 1 month old. I'm exhausted. It's hard to figure out childcare and to take turns for megillah on purim. But it's one time a year and these years of young children will go by fast.
You need to do what is best for you though. If thay means swirching shuls to one that has babysitting, getting a neighbor who already is home with kids during regular megillah reading to watch ur baby, or switching off with ur dh. I hope you have a freilichen purim!
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amother
Melon


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:06 pm
amother Opal wrote:
She didn't say it's for women only.


she called it a "womens reading"
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amother
Opal


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:06 pm
amother Birch wrote:
No shul bans kids that I know if but if kids are noisy you need to leave I know people who risk it with lots of junk in tow and bottles it works well.


I give them a lollipop, bring along books & their pacifier. Bh it works.
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amother
Opal


 

Post Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:07 pm
amother Melon wrote:
she called it a "womens reading"


Because the later readings are usually mostly women, because that's how it works out. But it doesn't mean that it's only for women.
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