I hate purim | Imamother

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I hate purim

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim

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flowerpower

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 4:25 pm

First of all, we prepare a lot of mm. Whoever gives my child will definitely get one back. Go explain to a little kid that it’s all about “giving”.
Second of all, if we drive to drop off mm we call the family to ask if we can come by. This way they are prepared that we are coming.
Third of all- in our school each kid gets a group of 3-4 kids to give to (not in school) so this way each kid feel very included. I think it should a thing in every school.

imasinger

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 4:31 pm

amother Freesia wrote:

See my comment on the other thread. That the person things she shouldn’t have to reciprocate. How often is it not the child, but rather the parent that teaches the child to social climb.
I will copy and paste

will never forget when my daughter was younger. We drove across town and brought to her friend. The girls were 6. We got to the house and my daughter very proudly presented the MM. It was kid friendly stuff about two dollars worth not a big deal. The father answers the door and says that the girl is out with her mother delivering. He invites us in. I say no thank you, he insists, it will just take a minute. The dining room table was covered with three different types of types-high end gown up, fancy kid and something regular but nice looking (comparator my $2 bags). There must have been 150 at least. He then consults his list, and says nope, you are not on it, we don’t have one for you. I say no problem, have a wonderful Purim and we walk out the door, the older sister then runs down the driveway and hands my daughter a lollipop. I’ll make so not a big deal of it. Tell my daughter the mitzvah is giving, look at the lollipop is red, they just weren’t expecting us because we live across town, that it is all good.
The next day in carpool, the “popular girl” whose dad is a gevir , from my daughter’s class is talking about how this girl drove over and dropped off the most beautiful MM for her and all the treats inside.
It has been 10 years. I hope my daughter doesn’t remember, but I sure do.

Wow.

Try to imagine the mother sinking through the floor if she ever found out her DH did that.

I'll bet you any amount of money that if she had been there, it would have been different.

amother

Freesia

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 4:38 pm

imasinger wrote:

Wow.

Try to imagine the mother sinking through the floor if she ever found out her DH did that.

I'll bet you any amount of money that if she had been there, it would have been different.

I wish I could say that, but after sending your child to school with someone for a dozen years (and then working at the schoo) you kind of get a feel for people.

She would sink through the floor if people knew, because of her reputation and desired image, but we are nobody’s so it is really quite alright.

amother

Eggplant

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 5:18 pm

A woman in our neighborhood started a ''give MM to someone that needs''. Many people prepared, and this woman found many kids who need it. She did it also this year. She put out notices already a month ago. Very beautiful mitzvah.

amother

DarkPurple

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 9:49 pm

Just decide to find the joy and create the joy. Some of our best y"t were ones in medical situations (good & less good ones). Its about giving. The joy is in the giving & togetherness, sometimes with other solo stranded yidden. Don't allow your mind to be sucked in elsewhere. Create a single focus each year.

That dad story, that's bad, no tact. You just grab one and figure it out later.

behappy2

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 10:04 pm

Celebrate her. Have fun with her. Make her feel loved. Have faith in her ability to get through this and don't show her that you pity her.

Sending my love to you and your daughter!

amother

Magenta

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 10:05 pm

So sad not the norm even the snobby families typically reciprocate even if they didn't have your kid in mind - unfortunately that's so sad I hope ur kids don't remember that either we make a bunch and give off our list I don't make extras but wouldn't be obnoxious to your kid ... most probably would quickly put something together

BaltoMom65

Mon, Mar 06 2023, 10:18 pm

amother Freesia wrote:

Money can't buy class. Unfortunately this disgusting behavior is not super rare

chocolate moose

Tue, Mar 07 2023, 6:51 pm

I would be mortified if someone thought I was needy just bevause we don't get a lot of MM.

we don't have a lot of family and friends so I take care of myself. I get up early to exercise and I hear megilla and eat a big breakfast. I attend a coworker's part and enjoy seeing the people in costumes in the street. I cook the meal if we're eating at home and maybe do laundry if necessary.

I don't make a big deal that I must have a bunch of fun and craziness that day. if you expect less, you won't be disappointed.

amother

Mintgreen

Wed, Mar 08 2023, 2:27 am

Wanted to follow up with the OP and see how it worked out for your daughter. I read your post yesterday and it opened my eyes and I had my kids choose a few kids from their class that they wouldn't normally have thought to give to, and bh it worked out really well.
Another perspective, my oldest is pretty popular and has alot of friends bh, but we dropped off at everyone on her list, and only 2-3 people came to us. Just wanted to share that since you should know that minimal people coming happens to alot of kids. Hope she (and you) had a wonderful purim Smile

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