My ds was kicked out of class

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 5:17 am

He’s in 8th grade and has never gotten in trouble before. According to him, he didn’t even do anything. From what he told me, he did not deserve to be kicked out, but that’s neither here nor there. The point of the post is how to help him. He was not able to calm down until I spoke to him, about an hour after the incident. The school tried, but they couldn’t. He said he felt like his arms and legs were paralyzed and his head and stomach felt funny, dizzy. That’s probably because of all the crying.

Anyway, how can I help him not to react this way AND not feel so horrible when things like this might happen? I thought maybe it was because he was unfairly punished, but he says he doesn’t know. I have another kid that would only be very upset if he felt it was unjustified. TIA

amother

Ebony

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 5:22 am

Very strange that a good kid is kicked out for "no reason". Maybe DS is shaken up by the incident that he doesn't remember. Can you get to the bottom of what actually happened? It seems there's more to the story.

amother

Antiquewhite

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 5:24 am

How did a kid who never got in trouble before suddenly get kicked out? What does the teacher claim he did? It sounds like a panic attack.

Rappel

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 5:28 am

Sounds like a good kid.

Highstrung

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 5:28 am

Validate your son. Don’t try fixing his reactions right now. I believe him. His reaction proves that he probably did nothing wrong. He seems to be panicking . What does the teacher claim he did. Being accused of doing something wrong and being kicked out of class when you were not at fault , is a terrible and degrading feeling. There’s a feeling of betrayal and deep hurt. If he did do something wrong his reaction wouldn’t be so strong . BTDT

amother

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 6:08 am

Thank you and I know all that! If you say it’s a panic attack, how do I help him not to get to that point of having one and if c’s he does help him out of it?

amother

Antiquewhite

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 6:09 am

amother OP wrote:

Thank you and I know all that! If you say it’s a panic attack, how do I help him not to get to that point of having one and if c’s he does help him out of it?

I wouldn’t be concerned if it was a one time thing during a traumatic time. He needs to take deep breaths and tell himself he will get through this.

Chayalle

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 6:10 am

Speak to the Rebbe and find out why he was kicked out of class from the school's POV.

amother

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 6:12 am

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

I wouldn’t be concerned if it was a one time thing during a traumatic time. He needs to take deep breaths and tell himself he will get through this.

I’m getting to the bottom of why he was kicked out, but that’s not what the post is about. That was background. You say being a one time thing, until it happens again and then I won’t know what to do or even prevent it.

amother

Oxfordblue

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 6:18 am

A grounding exercise when a panic attack starts - he should notice five things he sees, five things he smells, etc all the senses.

Highstrung

Fri, Mar 10 2023, 6:27 am

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

I wouldn’t be concerned if it was a one time thing during a traumatic time. He needs to take deep breaths and tell himself he will get through this.

Focus on the breaths. Breathe in deeply to the count of 4. Hold to the count of 4. Exhale (breathe out) to the count of 4. Hold to the count of 4. Repeat as necessary.

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