Mazel tov im pregant! from what age kids do I tell?

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amother

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 2:44 pm

From what age kids can I tell kids I'm pregnant?
My teenage daughter will be upset that I don't tell her immediately...
And my younger kids are going to ask me all about it? They always want to know all the details!
How do I deal with all this?? Please help me!
Thanks

shabbatiscoming

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 2:53 pm

Why not tell them all, at 3 months, so that its also ok if they tell their friends and everyone they know (the younger ones Smile

)
I dont think there is any value in keeping this from any of them.

Iymnok

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 3:08 pm

I’m 33 weeks. I should tell my preschoolers by now. I told my teens at three months, just after telling my parents and siblings. In between I have boys whom I told when I figured they might be suspicious. I probably could have waited till my 9th month to tell DS11, but that wouldn’t be nice.

amother

Dandelion

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 6:55 pm

I throw up really badly and my 12 year old daughter knows that people who are pregnant throw up. I would actually rather not tell her before 12 weeks but she will likely figure it out. I just found out that I'm pregnant.

amother

Lightyellow

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 7:06 pm

Just a gentle reminder, we don't say mazal tov till the baby is born. We say B'shaah Tovah.

amother

Blue

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 8:29 pm

What did you do the other times you were pregnant and how did it go? My kids all notice really early so I don’t have this decision….

cupcake123

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 8:32 pm

I tell my kids pretty much right away

amother

Chambray

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 9:18 pm

Iymnok wrote:

I tell my kids under 8(ish) at 36-37 weeks. I’m a big person, so the bump isn’t so noticeable and I find that the waiting is too much for them before that. A teenage girl can be told right away if she understands that it’s supposed to be kept private, and if she understands the concept of losses.

amother

Steelblue

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 9:36 pm

I told my kids by 10 weeks because I was feeling horrible and needed them to understand why etc.

amother

Aqua

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 9:44 pm

I told my kids at 12 weeks. I wanted them to hear it from me not other family members. My oldest was 6 (he was 3 when I was pregnant with my second child and I told him at 12 weeks then also).

amother

Marigold

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 10:24 pm

I don't tell younger until much later. why risk having them have to grieve in case of a loss ch"v? let them innocent and happy!
I told my 13 year old in my 4th month. 11 year old is clueless type, even now at 25 weeks. I know for a fact she hasn't picked up n it. I'll be telling her something soon Iy"H. rest will get a nice surprise.

amother

Chambray

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 10:31 pm

amother Marigold wrote:

Do you mean you don’t tell the younger ones? I’m interested in hearing about the reason because I’ve debated not telling some of mine too

amother

DarkPurple

Sat, Mar 11 2023, 10:34 pm

All I can say is my 7 year old son is waiting anxiously for me to give birth! He has been telling me for 6 weeks it's time to have the baby and I told him not until after purim! Now that purim is over he wants to know if it will be today/shabbos. I told him it may be next shabbos! I am not due until march 19. I told him he needs to stop talking about it already and he can daven for me for a healthy baby iyH. He is the one who actually noticed on his own that I am pregnant a few months ago. My other kids are also excited. It is exciting but do you want them to drive you crazy or not? Thats something to consider. My 14 year old picked up on it. After laughing a few times over different things, I told her maybe I was 14 weeks? And then I told 15.5 year old son. My husband wanted to tell 11 year old when I was toward the end of my 4th month. After 7 year old figured it out, we told the 9 year old. Then we waited a couple more weeks before telling the 5 year old.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Mar 12 2023, 8:11 am

amother Dandelion wrote:

My 4 year old knows people who are pregnant throws up because I threw up when he was 2.
Anytime someone throws up he asks.
(Which is rare)

imaima

Sun, Mar 12 2023, 8:19 am

amother OP wrote:

12 weeks earliest…
Your teenage daughter should know her place

amother

Violet

Sun, Mar 12 2023, 9:00 am

When I was 12, my mother told me right away because she thought I'd be suspicious. I didn't tell anyone till she gave permission several months later.

amother

NeonPurple

Sun, Mar 12 2023, 9:09 am

amother Lightyellow wrote:

Just a gentle reminder, we don't say mazal tov till the baby is born. We say B'shaah Tovah.

Who's "we"?

In our community people definitely say mazal tov when they hear the news. Bshaa tova is kept for towards the end.

OP go by your instincts about what is right for each child. Some children need to hear earlier some later. If they are going to compare when they heard, best to choose one time to tell them all.

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