Boro Park - how do people do it?

Reality

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 5:46 pm

flowerpower wrote:

I really think you should leave this thread. You’re making a lot of people believe things that are just not. Really!

For the record my kids do not have Sunday or Monday outfits, they don’t wear bibs, they don’t get fed, they look neat and put together, they match their siblings sometimes, I only go out with make up, normal clothes-no black $100 skirts from S&W, etc. Can you just stop with the stereotypes?

Whatever, no skin off my nose. I'm assuming you never lived in an apartment building in BP?

Reality

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 5:48 pm

HeartyAppetite wrote:

Why do you think they did it because they wanted the kids to stay clean?
If the kids were playing outside and they came to feed the kids it’s way easier to come with one big plate and feed everyone.
The kids eat better outside and she feeds all the kids while they are playing even the 6 year old.
I’m sure when they eat at home they all sit at their place with their own plates and eat by themselves.

And this is my last comment on the thread, sorry flowerpower!

Because when the weather wasn't nice, they fed their kids like that in the lobby of the building.

Goodbye!

amother

Yolk

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 5:50 pm

Reality wrote:

And this is my last comment on the thread, sorry flowerpower!

Because when the weather wasn't nice, they fed their kids like that in the lobby of the building.

Goodbye!

Still outside and sounds like they didn't want the food all over the floor. Very different than what they do at home at their table.

amother

Yolk

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 5:52 pm

Reality wrote:

Because they also put bibs on their kids way past the age most American kids would wear them.

Yes, it is cultural. It never dawned on me to serve my kids chicken outside. I would serve my kids inside and then go outside to play. If my kids were eating outside, I'd serve easy finger food the kids can handle themselves.

Your judgmental posts are really crossing lines. If this works for them so what. Feeding your kids neatly outside just shows you aren't self centered and care about not making a mess. How are you turning this into something bad. So not ok to post ridiculous assumptions.

Reality

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 5:53 pm

amother Yolk wrote:

Still outside and sounds like they didn't want the food all over the floor. Very different than what they do at home at their table.

Sorry for still commenting!

Don't you get it? There was a group of neighbors who always fed their kids outside of their apartment. In nice weather, in front of the building. In bad weather, in the lobby or in the hallway of their apartment.

Reality

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 5:54 pm

amother Yolk wrote:

It was not nice. They still left a mess, made a lot of noise and other people were furious. But that's besides the point.

And I never said it was bad. I said it was culturally different from me. I also said this was their way of maintaining their lifestyle. I never judged them in my posts. People are reading into things I never said.

amother

cornflower

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 6:57 pm

amother Hibiscus wrote:

To each their own… matching clothes for kids is definitely neater looking. Many women in BP do look pretty trendy.

I don't think one is better or worse as it is a cultural thing.

However I was responding to a certain *tone* and implication that somehow the women of BP dress classier and that the children look more put together.

As far as I am concerned, matching clothing for children is not *neater* looking - unless one is describing an outfit on ONE child that matches. Perhaps the phenomenon of matching children and viewing that as "neater" (I.e. better) goes along with a culture that is much more herd like than the one I am in.

My children are individuals and I don't need to have them in outfits that match because that assumes each of them is not an individual with their own tastes and preferences. It is like the old fashioned way of dressing twins in identical clothing.

Again it is not a culture I am a part of but I certainly don't think that it is better nor am I envious of the way the women or children are dressed.

amother

Geranium

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 7:02 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

Right. There's no better or worse either way, it's just different.
I remember once a person wrote a letter into Family First (I think) stating as though it was law of nature something along the lines of "everyone can agree that chassidish women dress more refined than yeshivish women" which I did not agree with. I think women from both groups dress in a refined manner. Just, chassidish women tend to be dressed more formally on a daily basis, whereas yeshivish women may be more casual. But that has nothing to do with refinement, or trendiness for that matter. (And trends anyway depend on the fashion of the society around you, it's situational and location dependent, especially in frum fashion which is a world unto itself.)

amother

Hibiscus

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 7:16 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

My kids are also individuals and get treated as such. It has nothing to do with 2 kids wearing the same top. If you don’t get it then it’s ok. No need to knock it. Talk about living in a bubble…

amother

cornflower

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 7:19 pm

amother Hibiscus wrote:

Again I was responding to posts which stated that is was neater looking to have matching children.

That is a value judgment which implies it is better - neater and classier.

I went to great lengths to acknowledge that it is indeed a cultural chasm. I don't start threads extolling the virtues of other ways of dressing. I was reacting to posts in which women were jealous of all of this and/or women were bragging that they were indeed classier and more refined,

None of the above - just different.

amother

Oleander

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 8:30 pm

Im chassidish originally from bp now live in lakewood.

I shop on aliexpress, tottini.. I havent spent more than $20 on a single outfit and my kids look adorable and stylish. you would think I shop in the jewish stores

I have 2 little kids I only have a single carriage. No bugaboo or double carriage!

My 2 year old throws a royal tantrum if hes not matching his sibling!

I cant understand those people who spend $45 on a pair of pajamas (!!!) and brag how affordable it was. I get one nice pair for $20 for shabbos and the rest from target or carters in their $7 sale

amother

Viola

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 9:28 pm

[Some thoughts:

Some match when they have close in age and they're looking to keep laundry orderly. Also its way easier when you find 1 thing that you like at the right price, to buy it in 4 sizes.

I don't match my kids (gender and age gaps... Just never worked out) yet I do try to color coordinate 1-2 things a season. especially if I know certain color look better or is in season, it makes it easier to shop.... Someone once told me she does matching on days out to help keep an eye on everyone Very Happy

I like the way it looks in general (neat put together look). BUT buuuuut but This isn't a die hard rule and I wouldn't give a hoot if they decide not to color coordinate.

Regarding feeding Lil ones it is absolutely not a bp thing it is probably a young naive mom thing. I've seen it in Lakewood, monsey, in the mountains and in eretz yisroel at busy development and parks.

Many Chasidisha mom are domestically inclined. They're Laundry and homemaking gurus and many of them have a keen eye for classy put together look, effortlessly.

It might be coming from the close knit communities and the generational togetherness that is often seen in communities like bp. Kids are raised around bubbies and aunts and a lot of womenly wisdom gets passed around that way. Wink

amother

Yolk

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 9:39 pm

Reality wrote:

And your point is? I would too if I lived in an apartment it’s really claustrophobic sitting in it all day. How is this an issue?

amother

Yolk

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 9:40 pm

Reality wrote:

If everyone is reading it the same way, maybe it’s you?

amother

Beige

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 10:32 pm

Reality wrote:

Why do you think this happens all over? For 12 years I lived in one of the largest buildings in bp & this wasn't happening. You had a group of weird neighbors & now this is all people in bp?

amother

cornflower

Thu, Mar 16 2023, 10:12 am

Could someone explain how feeding children outside your home keeps their clothing clean?

Feeding a group of children in an urban setting where other people are passing by doesn't seem refined.

But the real question I have is how this helps children keep their fancy clothing clean? The kitchen yes but not the clothing.

The only time we were ever fed outside (apart from cookouts and picnics) was once when someone lent us their beach house and so all the children were banned on the last day so my mother and aunt could scrub and clean everything in order for the house to be left immaculate. LOL

They had us line up at the back door to collect our sandwiches. LOL

amother

Yolk

Thu, Mar 16 2023, 10:15 am

amother cornflower wrote:

They had us line up at the back door to collect our sandwiches. LOL

People feed their kids outside because they eat better that way. My grandmother who was from Hungary was very into it. She said it made our appetites better and it was the best way to feed kids. The poster made up that it has to do with keeping the apartment clean. This is how rumors are spread. She made it up, it’s not the reason.

amother

Cadetblue

Thu, Mar 16 2023, 10:17 am

amother Yolk wrote:

Exactly this!! I fed my younger kids outside always they gobbled up the food and they could go right back to playing. No one does it to keep kids clean yes some people put bibs on their kids at 5 so they don’t stain their clothing .