Boro Park - how do people do it?

amother

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 7:17 pm

Thank you all so much for the kind and helpful responses. I’ve learned a lot! Obviously, there are a lot of life circumstances that explain why I’m not holding in these areas, but the tips are incredible. I’ve already learned of one store that I’d never thought to look at because I assumed it was out of my price range. Please, keep the tips coming! (And if you see a schlumpy mom with a few kids in last season’s sale kidichic shopping around BP in the future, thanks for the help!)

amother

Oak

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 7:31 pm

amother Navy wrote:

So interesting because I live in Teaneck and consider Junee to be expensive. I cleaned up when they were 70% off in the Monsey store.

The idea of spending $100 on a black skirt (see above regarding S&W) blows my mind.

Teach me your ways of keeping the clothes looking pristine.

LOVE junees 70% off sales!!

amother

Pear

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 7:41 pm

I wear makeup and my wig is usually somewhat done (haven't gotten any new ones since my wedding 5 years ago). my 2 kids are matching with pretty clothing from kidichick, tottini and ali... I have a bugaboo that my in-laws bought me when my oldest was born and still using it... I think I look put together but definitely not fancy or striking out. I look like a typical bp young mom.
and my kids clothing is terribly stained but going to push it to the end of the season, light stains so you can't see from far.

YounginBP

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 7:56 pm

amother Oak wrote:

It is but just for a year, when the couple still needs to be supported (or programs). Many are in chinuch; don't think those pay well.

Most do not get supported. The women work until 2-3 kids. Lately a lot keep working bec you need 2 incomes. Those in chinuch get the programs.

Although a few mentioned tuition, mine is far from cheap. It's not at $250 for years already. For sure not the newer places.

amother

Beige

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 8:16 pm

amother Navy wrote:

Lol I threw in a name, I haven't shopped in so long. What I find is that the more strict your tznius standards are, the harder & more expensive clothes become regardless of where you shop.

Re black skirts, you can get more value out of 1 good black skirt than you'd get out of multiple colored skirts. That's if you're OK with a minimalistic wardrobe ( very common in bp). I have house skirts, skirts that don't fit, & 1 black skirt I wear for weekday & shabbos. I have no other skirt except 1 printed shabbos skirt.

amother

Quince

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 8:45 pm

From a chassidish woman's perspective:

My husband is the OLDEST yungerman in his very prestigious Kollel and he is 31. We have been doing it without help since th first day of marriage. My parents hosted us for suppers twice a week and for Shabbos for the first year.

We do not support our couples, so they learn to be resourceful and self sufficient right from the start.

We don't buy a lot, just one or two that are awesome (usually on sale).

We take hand me downs of those fancy clothes from our siblings and friends all the time.

We live in TINY houses because we love the convenience of BP.

Our tuition is low, we don't send our girls to sem and our boys don't HAVE to go to EY to learn.

There is definitely a classy put together look. Some of this is tied to the fact that we adhere to high tznius standards, so no easy-wear jeans skirt will do...

Generally, kids will be fashion forward because as long as they grow, you must replace their clothing regularly. But often, if you look carefully, you will notice that the mom's coat is 10 years old...

Ask away if you have questions. Happy to answer!

amother

Steelblue

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 8:51 pm

Yes so many responses on par! I love BP it's fun, also coming as an outsider tho.

The tricky thing with buying sales at end of season for next season is you can be lucky or unlucky, I bought one summer at the end and the following summer the sizes didn't really work for the kids I thought they would...honestly I look for the most year round that I can. Like not such heavy dresses and skirts for my kids that could easily pass for fall and spring too, etc.

For myself I'm still very much a newbie. I recently discovered clover and been very happy OP, you should check it out. Again I wouldn't call it cheap, a new season fully tznius top was $50 and it's the new season so not on sale, but honestly Amazon tops are $20-30 and you'd be lucky to not need a shell under, etc. I like the quality of their skirts too, only bought a long house skirt there so far.

I bought a black weekday skirt from a hosiery store! I didn't realize how much clothing the hosiery stores sell, for kids for sure but even adults. Really happy with the quality and now that I'm wearing it Im noticing so many women wearing the same (black pleated skirt just below the knees). It was probably $60, but again for everyday use I felt it was worth it.

Also Amazon not all returns are free anymore, often there's a charge to return even w prime.

A cute dress on Ali ran $17-22 for my kids and tottini outfits are also $20-25 and I could try on...so really it can happen. I do feel like the "real" boro parkers I meet just buy stuff local, it wouldn't occur to them to look at children's place online, etc. Just a different mentality than what I grew up with. Like babies are very well dressed here. In a way it's nice, just eye opening.

Hatzlacha raba!

amother

Crocus

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 9:31 pm

a neat skirt and top is just as cheap as a shlumpy one. combing your hair, washing your face doesnt cost money.

Also, many chassidish men own their own businesses due to the fact that they didnt get an education, and they didnt qualify for that starter job at teh finance company your husband might work in. so they gather money to get into real estate. start an amazon business etc. etc. etc.

Maybe your education is not all that its cracked up to be.

Plus, there are plenty of people that dont have money and still look put together.

amother

Ghostwhite

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 10:24 pm

OP I was on 13th Ave yesterday but I guess you didn’t bump into me. I don’t have a bugaboo because I refused to spend such a ridiculous price for a carriage. My coat is technically a brand name but I got it massively reduced at a pop up store that was in Anshei Sfard 3 years ago. I shop in department stores like gap, old navy, H&M, target etc and usually manage to find a better deal on the list price. When I do shop in bp I go to Tottini or kidichic. I work full time and so does my husband. I think if you look closely you’ll see that not everyone is all dressed up. You wouldn’t believe how good you can look without much effort or money. A lot of great stores were mentioned here, it’s worth checking them out.

amother

Oak

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 10:27 pm

amother Quince wrote:

How do you afford rent, utilities, and food if your husband is still in Kollel and you get no parental support?

Trademark

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 10:30 pm

amother Navy wrote:

A good quality basic skirt that you wear every day $100 is not a lot.

IMO it makes less sense to spend on fashionable items that won't stay in style too long or kid's clothing that they grow out off or ruin.

amother

Tomato

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 10:42 pm

I frequent Boro park a lot. We live in Flatbush. I am from OOT. I learned that people save their best outfits for Sunday outings. Adults and kids included. I learned that most people wear make up and nice clothes to go shopping.

And I learned that lots of people are in debt and/or on govt programs.

Op you are doing great. Don’t worry.

amother

Amber

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 11:24 pm

amother NeonGreen wrote:

No pressure here either.

I’m chassidish

Agree with you on that.
There's way less pressure here then friends/family have in other communities

I think a big factor is that the tznuis levels and communities norms in bp are what make the difference in the overall look. Many women don't wear long skirts, won't go out without there proper headcovering only wear tights & shoes when on the street..because those are there standards and way of life
Plus bp has so so many different types of people that's there's many of all types, and nobody will be called out for dressing or looking different

I know many that shop sample sales,designer bargain deals and ali and shein as well

amother

Clover

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 11:58 pm

amother Pumpkin wrote:

There are alot of amazing balabustas who know how to put themselves and their kids together to always look sharp and classy, they are pros at keeping clothes well-would love some laundry tips from them!

Soak clothing in nature bright and a drop of lest oil Smile

I know a real BP lady who always says, if you don't use nature bright, your shirts are gray

(referring to the men's white shirts)