Boro Park - how do people do it?

amother

Gardenia

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:36 am

What about maternity clothing?
I went to shavy jaffes class and all the girls with me were chassidish. Their clothing was beyond stunning so I figured ill go to BP and willi to check out the maternity stores... do people really spend $100 on a plain top? I felt so dumb walking out of the store. But I also love how put together chassidish women always look!

amother

Ghostwhite

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:42 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

I found gorgeous stuff at Cos which wasn’t cheap but more like typical BP prices without the maternity tack on fee. Amazon also has very pretty swing tops and loose fitting dresses. For shabbos I found a very pretty dress at H&M. I did buy some stuff in BP stores but most were from the sale rack.

amother

Papayawhip

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:49 am

The husband makes a lot of money
Both parents work
They have rich parents/grandparents who are helping them out
They get lots of government assistance
And the ones in the middle class are living paycheck to paycheck or are in debt
Because everybody has to look good and buy pretty clothing even if they can’t afford it
It’s really very sad that the poor and rich both look the same

amother

Gardenia

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:50 am

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

What and where is "Cos" ?

The tops these women were wearing looked frum they didnt look like amazon designs (ive been looking there)

amother

NeonGreen

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:53 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

She still gives those classes?

Wow. I was there over 20 years ago.

amother

Gardenia

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:55 am

amother NeonGreen wrote:

She still gives those classes?

Wow. I was there over 20 years ago.

well I went almost 2 years ago! lol
she does it in her basement
I felt it was kind of a waste bc it just went in one ear out the other when I was actually pushing. now that im expecting again and know what to expect I want to do her course again....

amother

Ghostwhite

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 12:55 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

What and where is "Cos" ?

The tops these women were wearing looked frum they didnt look like amazon designs (ive been looking there)

https://www.cos.com/en/index.html
They have a store in Manhattan and I’m not sure where else. They’re not specifically maternity but their stuff is loose fitting. I carry pretty big and wore their stuff till the day I delivered. The quality is great too.

Reality

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:32 am

amother Papayawhip wrote:

The poor should walk around in holey rags? That will make you feel better?

The people who can't afford, buy 2 outfits for their kids and constantly wash. They are super meticulous about their laundry and work really hard to get out every stain.

There are certain things in chassidish culture I have never seen anywhere else. I don't think they realize it is any different than anyone else.

First of all, many mothers feed their children until a very old age. Many will also feed all siblings from the same bowl and spoon. This keeps their clothes clean and cuts down on housework. I don't agree with it personally but I have witnessed first hand, countless times, mothers feeding six year old children, kids even older, who knows.

When their babies swim/crawl, regardless if they are boys or girls, they put tights over their clothes to keep them from getting stained. I've also seen mothers put only tights and a onesie on their babies, again regardless if boys or girls, in the house and only dress in real clothes in public, to keep their outfits pristine.

In general, they value keeping their children looking perfect and matching. So they spend a lot of effort maintaining it. There is no magic secret!

amother

Mintgreen

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:35 am

amother Papayawhip wrote:

This is so stereotypical and also very not true if you actually read through the thread. It is not a crime to look good or to match your kids and there are plenty of ways to do it without breaking the bank

crust

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:28 am

amother Clover wrote:

Soak clothing in nature bright and a drop of lest oil Smile

I know a real BP lady who always says, if you don't use nature bright, your shirts are gray

(referring to the men's white shirts)

Tell that lady that if you don't live in the city and your water is hard water then you can use all the nature bright you want and it won't help the shirts be white.

Oh, the heartache that this causes me. For real.

I don't care if everyone laughs from my Hungarian-ness.

It is a real pain point for me to not have pristine white clothing because of the water situation.

I have to keep replacing white shirts because at some point I just can't look at them anymore. (And perhaps no one else would even see what I'm seeing. It doesn't matter.)

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:32 am

amother IndianRed wrote:

I live in bp. I work. Dh works.
I always look put together and up to date. I don't shop locally. I have a knack for finding the 'in' looking stuff in non-jewish stores or online/Ali.
My stroller-I got it for 50% off around Black Friday.
It's funny how tottini is just as packed as the expensive stores.

It’s the knack that some people have. I find some of my friends will take the cheap top and make it look beautiful it’s a knack. For myself I buy in marshals a few tips and buy one nicer top in a Yiddish story I look clean and put together. My kids I buy sale from past years. It’s also a way of dressing making sure your skirt is perfect length your Sheitel is washed etc. my stroller I used for multiple children and it’s about keeping clean and neat.

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:32 am

crust wrote:

I have hard water I have a a system for my shirts and they are white!!

amother

Beige

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:36 am

Reality wrote:

do we live in a different bp?

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:37 am

amother Papayawhip wrote:

Oh really no they just know how to do it! Government assistance is not what it used to be it covers nada and don’t make them rich at all. They just know how to do it!! Nowadays most parents can’t help their kids financially.

amother

Steelblue

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:38 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

What and where is "Cos" ?

The tops these women were wearing looked frum they didnt look like amazon designs (ive been looking there)

I agree that the tops are from frum stores, I've lived in BP long enough and searched Amazon enough to know they are from local stores. They are on sale or full price and worn for many years, or some go to Burlington and other big stores at kings plaza mall (it's always packed with frum yidden at Macy's, Primark, etc)

I think it's also the makeup. There's a certain way like the foundation maybe? And like eyebrows done maybe? It's really nice that this community seems to prioritize looking good I think it's a kiddush Hashem.

crust

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:46 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

I have hard water I have a a system for my shirts and they are white!!

Its not just hard water.
I dont want to out my exact home address Smile

so I am not going to say more details about the water situation here.

But please do share what your system is.

Also, my neighbors don't know what I'm talking about. According to them this is white.

But I have lived in other areas before and I know that white can be white. Can't Believe It

amother

NeonPink

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:46 am

crust wrote:

my wash machine has a setting where you can make the water soft. Have you ever tried those tablets to turn your water soft?

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 8:50 am

crust wrote:

Its not just hard water.
I dont want to out my exact home address Smile

I soak my shirts for 8 hours in hot water with OXI white packets then I wash it with tide. And they are stunning

Trademark

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 9:30 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

I soak my shirts for 8 hours in hot water with OXI white packets then I wash it with tide. And they are stunning

IDK I don't do anything special and my husband's shirts are nice.

Maybe because I'm not such a particular person.

My husband never complained, and he does care.

amother

Cobalt

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 11:39 am

I live in BP and I have no idea how people do it. The pressure isn't worth it for me. But then you are considered second class if you're "shlumpy" or wearing only cheaper stuff (unless those cheaper stuff are copies of expensive stuff) I don't think it's a good thing except for people that really enjoy the shopping and matching activities.