One year old very aggressive out of nowhere

amother

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 12:59 pm

My 14 m o baby started to bite, scratch and hit me this shabbos and it didn’t stop yet.
I don’t get it.
What would you do at such a young age? I think she might be teething or uncomfortable for some other reasons.
But sometimes she is happy and them can start hitting me and laugh. I literally cannot hold her when she keeps attacking me snd have to put her down.

relish

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 1:04 pm

Sometimes it’s helpful to look at what happens right before the child starts the aggression. Pay attention to the aggressive behavior and try to figure out what triggers it.

Also, look at the bigger picture. What changes have happened recently in your baby’s life? New babysitter?
Any changes at babysitter?
Are you newly pregnant?
Recent job change for you or husband?
Recently been around someone new?
Recent travel?

Try to become a detective about this, and see what comes up for you.

fbc

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 1:11 pm

Putting her down would be the first step, which you said you do. That shows that what she's doing isn't acceptable and you won't hold her when she does that..I also have a 14 month old BH, and for her I'll take her hand and tell her " boo boos hurt. make nice, be gentle" while doing a "nice" motion on my arm (or whatever she hit). Or I say (if you're child isn't doing these, yet, you can teach,) "we can't scratch, but we can beep noses (then I'll have her beep my nose) and tickle tosies (and have her tickle my toes) "Then give her a kiss and distract with some toy or whatnot. I think, unless it's really excessive, it's pretty normal at this age when n they're trying to figure out A) cause/effect, what happens with I hit mommy? B) how much power can I assert I'm any given situation?

amother

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 1:31 pm

relish wrote:

She goes to a daycare group with many kids so one option is that someone else in the group is going through a phase and she picked it.
Another idea is that she is trying to communicate, for example she would burry her head in my neck or arm and try to bite me until I change her poopy diaper (which I didn’t realize she had). Or give her a drink.
So every time she does this I offer a drink a snack and a diaper change. Then I try to take her hand to stroke me but she will inevitably scratch. Then I put her down and imitate crying so she knows I am not happy.

relish

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 1:42 pm

Hmm…it sounds like you are doing what you need to do to give her what she needs, and replace the biting, and that you have a pretty good idea of where she may have picked it up.

I wonder if giving her words to replace the biting would help her?

So, perhaps, when she bites you, you stop her and tell her “No”. Then figure out what she needs, and give her a word to represent that need. Repeat that word to her until she tries to say it, and then celebrate her verbal expression of that need.

Then, every time she uses a form of that word, you celebrate her, and give her what she needs, and every time she bites, you stop her and say “no”, and then redirect her to the word you chose, while addressing her needs. Again, celebrate when she makes any attempts to say the word you chose.

Does that approach make sense for you in your situation?

mushkamothers

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 2:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

You can teach her words + sign language by saying it a million times and offering her a sign (even if you make it up) so she can communicate.

amother

Tanzanite

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 2:47 pm

when this happened with my little one I took her to the pediatrician - turned out she had a bad ear infection. Antibiotics and 2 days later she was better... Hopefully it's something small like this. much hatzlacha!

amother

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 3:02 pm

relish wrote:

Yea
Thank you
Will try it

amother

Mon, Mar 13 2023, 3:03 pm

amother Tanzanite wrote:

This was on my mind too
I will try and take her this week