WWYD... staying by in laws all of pesach?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach

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amother

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:19 pm

Hi! I am planning to go to my in laws for the sedarim and can't decide if I should just stay there all of pesach to avoid pesach cleaning. I have twin toddlers (15 months) and my in laws live 10 minute drive away. I have never made pesach before so I feel like if I'm already going for the three day yom tov and probably the second days then maybe we should all stay there for the whole holiday. On the other hand, I don't love going there and there isn't much privacy (even though there is a lot of space) and my mil likes to micromanage their schedules and everything they do (I love her, just the way she is!). It will be hard being there for the whole time because my husband and I like privacy but maybe it's worth it? help pleaseee!!

amother

Mimosa

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

If you’re already staying there first days and second days, especially considering it’s a three days straight yom Tov this year, it pays to stay and not have to clean your house.

amother

Nemesia

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:23 pm

We’re debating similar. Deal with cleaning but be happier over yt? Or go the easy route and have to deal with the downsides of being guests, whatever they are?

There is no right answer really.

flowerpower

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:24 pm

Is your mil ok with you moving in the entire yom tov?

amother

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:26 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

If you’re already staying there first days and second days, especially considering it’s a three days straight yom Tov this year, it pays to stay and not have to clean your house.

Thank you! What if we stayed at home second days? Then should I be home? I will likely be very annoyed and stressed being there all of pesach. (I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, it’s extremely generous that my in-laws are willing to have us!!!)

amother

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:27 pm

flowerpower wrote:

Is your mil ok with you moving in the entire yom tov?

Yes BH they reallyyy want us to come

amother

Lightpink

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:34 pm

Me I’d stay but You answered your own question : if you will be annoyed and stressed if you stay the whole time then go home.
Cleaning is worth it then

ima22

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:35 pm

my humble suggestion (and what I would do) is to clean minimally but don't turn over. make your house klp enough that you can sleep there and have some snacks but eat at your in laws if this is amenable to them. it will give you a few days break in the middle, some privacy, your own schedule without the entire headache of turning over a kitchen. go for breakfast, pack up lunch and spend the day out or back at home and go back for dinner. 8 days is a LOT of together time and being able to go home for a bit would refresh me.

amother

Blueberry

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:35 pm

Do a very light cleaning. Stay home chol Hamoed. Buy a single Burner, frying pan and toaster oven to make simple meals. You don't have to kosher just cover counters, and line sinks.

keym

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:36 pm

Personally I would clean enough to be able to go home. Lock up most of the kids toys.
Clean some.
Kasher and set up enough so you can eat light meals on Chol Hamoed.
Come home and decompress. Even if you go back for supper Chol Hamoed night.
Those 3 days of the kids sleeping in their own beds, of being on your own schedule, privacy can really help

giftedmom

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:37 pm

Stay and do day trips on chol hamoed so you get your break but don’t have to clean. Or if you can sleep in a hotel for a night or two.

amother

Zinnia

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:44 pm

To me it’s a no brainer. Anything to avoid cleaning and prepping for pesach: yes stay the whole time

amother

PlumPink

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:47 pm

ima22 wrote:

Exactly what I was going to recommend
(But home for breakfast. Chocolate leben is an acceptable and healthy breakfast on Chol Hamoed.)

amother

Wandflower

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:48 pm

As others have said, I would clean enough to be able to stay home, but lock everything I didn't need away and go home chol hamoed. Either have a basic plug in hob to make basic meals or go back to them for meals. I would really struggle being at my inlaws all yomtov.

scintilla

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:48 pm

amother Blueberry wrote:

Do a very light cleaning. Stay home chol Hamoed. Buy a single Burner, frying pan and toaster oven to make simple meals. You don't have to kosher just cover counters, and line sinks.

Agree. I've done exactly this, it was very doable. I would add to buy a small pot just in case but I only ended up using the frying pan the first year that I stayed home!

amother

Mocha

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:50 pm

Look at the long term picture. What will be best for your relationship with your in laws?

mha3484

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:53 pm

I dont even cover anymore. I just put a huge folding table in the center of my kitchen and use that for my work space all week. It saves me a ton of work.

mommyhood

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 2:56 pm

ima22 wrote:

This is what I did for years. I didn't have to do any kashering and I didn't do spring cleaning just actual Pesach cleaning making sure there was no chometz out. I used paper good that lived on the counter or table so no cleaning cabinets or emptying pantries.
I did clean my fridge so we could have yogurts for breakfast, matzo and cream cheese for lunch and then super we went to family.

Raisin

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 3:44 pm

If you buy a lot of ready made products and eat gebrokts, and even if you don't (we don't...) I would go home for chol hamoed. Lock up cabinets, clean counters, clear all the chamets in your fridge to one or two shelves. Take out clothing for the week and lock your closets.

If you use ready made stuff buy yogurts, fruit, matza, cheese, cold cuts etc so you can have breakfast and lunch. You just need paper plates and cups and a knife for salad.

If you don't buy a burner (or kasher stovetop) and a frying pan. Or something like a george foreman and you can cook salmon or chicken breast in it.

Then go to the in laws for supper.

Trademark

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:04 pm

I would just go for the entire thing, if I had the option of not making pesach I would take it. I was already at my in-laws for the entire YT, took out the real chametz and just locked my house and left!

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