WWYD... staying by in laws all of pesach?

flowerpower

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:24 pm

If you go to your in laws the whole yom tov try to go out- to give yourself space and your in laws. Go for walks or chol hamoed outings…

amother

Snow

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:32 pm

Take it with a grain of salt, I'm writing as someone who cleaned for pesach since I got married 30 yrs ago! Even when I wasn't staying home.
My biggest fear is not having a place to go home to! I've heard of ppl that had to go home and couldn't!
I also love the feeling of a clean house!
You don't have to organize. Bedrooms just have to be thoroughly vacuumed.
All you kitchen cabinets can be taped shut.
Couches will take a little bit of time.
Otoh I've stayed by my in-laws all of pessach and didn't mind either! LOL

tichellady

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:32 pm

ima22 wrote:

my humble suggestion (and what I would do) is to clean minimally but don't turn over. make your house klp enough that you can sleep there and have some snacks but eat at your in laws if this is amenable to them. it will give you a few days break in the middle, some privacy, your own schedule without the entire headache of turning over a kitchen. go for breakfast, pack up lunch and spend the day out or back at home and go back for dinner. 8 days is a LOT of together time and being able to go home for a bit would refresh me.

exactly what I was going to say. buy yogurt, fruit, matzah and cheese and deli etc so you have some stuff to eat at home on paper plates

amother

Green

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:57 pm

I'm in team clean a bit and stay home. Wash 2 toys or buy new if you were eyeing something.

Buy a crock pot for dinners. Doesn't hurt for future investment for cholent when you do decide to stay home
Frying pan for breakfast

Don't kasher. U can put plastic tablecloths on counters. Simpler then lining/covering.

I need my bed. My kids do better on my schedule.

SG18

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 4:58 pm

I would clean for Pesach and be home at least for chol hamoed. You don't need to clean clothing closets unless you put food in there. It isn't spring cleaning!

amother

Green

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 5:05 pm

tichellady wrote:

exactly what I was going to say. buy yogurt, fruit, matzah and cheese and deli etc so you have some stuff to eat at home on paper plates

Off topic but per Rabbi Blumenkranz paper that you put food on can be an issue, bec they are made with recycled products.
You need to use plastic or buy with hecsher.
This applys to hot cups and paper liners for cup cakes.

(Yes I know tissues don't need kfp, it's just a marketing gimmick)

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:19 pm

As a mother of twins my advice is that whatever you decide to do you need to be flexible. You can decide that you want to come home and try to clean but be unable to or you can clean but decide it makes more sense to stay at your in laws.

ra_mom

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

Hi! I am planning to go to my in laws for the sedarim and can't decide if I should just stay there all of pesach to avoid pesach cleaning. I have twin toddlers (15 months) and my in laws live 10 minute drive away. I have never made pesach before so I feel like if I'm already going for the three day yom tov and probably the second days then maybe we should all stay there for the whole holiday. On the other hand, I don't love going there and there isn't much privacy (even though there is a lot of space) and my mil likes to micromanage their schedules and everything they do (I love her, just the way she is!). It will be hard being there for the whole time because my husband and I like privacy but maybe it's worth it? help pleaseee!!

I don't know. Being cooped up in a place I don't enjoy being with 2 toddlers sounds like a nightmare to me.

Ema of 5

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:28 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

If you’re already staying there first days and second days, especially considering it’s a three days straight yom Tov this year, it pays to stay and not have to clean your house.

This, and even though it will be a chance in schedule for them, going, then going home, then going back would be much worse.

amother

Brown

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:28 pm

My life is super hectic so I would rather just go away for the entire YT rather than clean and turn over.

I do clean minimally so I can come home for showers and laundry.

I feel like I will have plenty of years to stay home as my family grows iyH, so I am enjoying going away now while we are still being invited out!

Ema of 5

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you! What if we stayed at home second days? Then should I be home? I will likely be very annoyed and stressed being there all of pesach. (I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, it’s extremely generous that my in-laws are willing to have us!!!)

If there is a possibility you will go home, then clean. I thought you were asking if you should stay the whole time. If there is a chance you will go home at some point then clean. Rather clean and end up staying, than WANT to go home and you can’t.

amother

Sunflower

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 7:38 pm

Can you handle your in laws all pesach?
Can you handle making the bare minimum pesach in your house?
For me the thought of not making pesach wud be enticing but you wud need to go knowing that 8 days at your mom in law is a lot and you will just make the best of it so you don’t have to clean. Iyh next year you will be in a position to be able to clean and stay home. It’s all in your attitude! No your mother in will not be different this time. Just brace yourself and try to stay nice to each other

tichellady

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 9:05 pm

amother Green wrote:

definitely not what everyone holds by. lots of different opinions when it comes to pesach

amother

Dill

Tue, Mar 14 2023, 11:20 pm

Can you stay at home for chol hamoed but go to your in laws for supper, and get food from them for 2nd days? It’s much easier when you don’t need to turn over your kitchen and cook for Pesach.

amother

Natural

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 12:57 am

I would say stay home. You don't have to spring clean to make your house kosher for pesach.
Being a guest for so long is stressful ( for me)

amother

Mocha

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 1:15 am

A side note: if your inlaws really enjoy having you, the might be insulted if you "run away" for chol hamoed, especially if they try their best to be helpful (even if you don't appreciate their form of helpful). You might want to keep this in mind, too.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 1:25 am

Go home after first days. There’s nothing like everyone being able to sleep in their own beds…
You don’t have to clean out your oven . just buy a convection oven and a burner… maybe a hot plate. I’d rather my own space , but that’s me…

ShishKabob

Wed, Mar 15 2023, 7:54 am

amother Lightpink wrote:

Me I’d stay but You answered your own question : if you will be annoyed and stressed if you stay the whole time then go home.
Cleaning is worth it then

This, it would also make them excited to see you for second days as oppose to having them sigh with relief when you leave. Maybe you can get food from them and avoid major Pesach cleaning that way. Bhatzlocha