Going away to a non kosher place for pesach.

amother

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 8:43 pm

I find this so strange but my brother in law asked my dh to book something for him (he doesn't have Internet access at home) for chol hamoed, and the last days of yom tov.
To a completely non kosher and non Jewish community. Its half an hour drive from home so not that far, but they won't be going to minyanim on pesach. They have boys, teens and about a 9 year old although maybe they'll stay at grandparents. The rest are girls... I suppose they'll take their hot plate and all their food.
Anyone else find this weird? I'm not supposed to know so I'm not going to discuss with other family members. They're very private people besides to my dh, my bil is quite close to him.

amother

Crocus

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 8:50 pm

MYOB. He obviously didn't tell you because This is what they want and not interested in your opinions. I know families that have gone places where they kashered the kitchen. It could be they are taking their own food or ready made so no need to cook, just to warm up. About the Davening, They realize there are no Shuls close by. Maybe the boys are not going to Shul so they feel why stay at home? Maybe you really don't know what's going on in their home. when they get back, call up your SIL and ask her how it was. Tell her you are happy they were able to take a break and go away a bit.

amother

Ivory

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 8:51 pm

It sounds odd, but it's none of your business. Maybe they're experimenting with going OTD, and maybe they purposely want to go somewhere where they know they won't meet anyone they know, because they've had it up to here with the prying, meddling, showing off and judging they encounter every day in the community where they live.

And I hope you'll forgive my saying so, but your dh has a big mouth. If I were his brother I wouldn't trust him ever again. If you were "not supposed to know," he should not have told you.

amother

Lightblue

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 8:56 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

MYOB. He obviously didn't tell you because This is what they want and not interested in your opinions. I know families that have gone places where they kashered the kitchen. It could be they are taking their own challenges and keeping it secret is a chore in its own. food or ready made so no need to cook, just to warm up. About the Davening, They realize there are no Shuls close by. Maybe the boys are not going to Shul so they feel why stay at home? Maybe you really don't know what's going on in their home. when they get back, call up your SIL and ask her how it was. Tell her you are happy they were able to take a break and go away a bit.

Don’t do this, you are not supposed to know
You could put on a family chat how was everyone’s YT. Please don’t pry. We are going through some medical

amother

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 9:08 pm

amother Ivory wrote:

He really doesn't, he never tells me anything about them. I was there when he was talking to him, so I casually asked him if they're going away for pesach...

amother

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 9:20 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

One of my teen son's doesn't really go to shul so I get that. I just find it really odd to go on pesach. I guess you need to know them to know what I mean. They're at the same accommodation now, they were there for shabbos, so they wanted to rebook it for yom tov.

zaq

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 9:23 pm

For all you know they may be part of or even leading a group getaway of several families, enough to have a minyan. Either way it's none of your business. Do not, I repeat, not ask you sil "how it was" when they come back. That's none of your business, either, and you supposedly don't know they're going.

amother

Ginger

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 9:25 pm

amother Ivory wrote:

with no internet access?

amother

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 9:40 pm

zaq wrote:

Haha nope they're very quiet, private people.
No one but them will be there...

amother

Oleander

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 9:43 pm

I dont get the big deal. We went to an airbnb in the middle of nowhere one year. Kashered the kitchen / used our own electric appliances and brought our own kosher food and bought produce locally. Had a nice quiet private pesach.

amother

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 9:43 pm

funkymom2.0 wrote:

how are you sure that your sil is not on here?

She doesn't have Internet access but even if she did, say go to her parents house to use it, she wouldn't use her time to be on here. She'd do a shein order etc. Plus I'm not worried if she found out that I know. She's really sweet, we get on pretty well, although don't speak often. We live a couple of hours away from each other, so usually only see by family simchas when they go.

amother

Seashell

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 10:04 pm

I’ve gone away for an entire Pesach to a place that didn’t have a minyan. On Chol Hamoed my DH did drive to minyan further away.

They may need to be close to a place to get medical treatment c”v and because they are private they wouldn’t share with you whether a family member is ill or not.

amother

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 10:19 pm

amother Seashell wrote:

In England people don't go away for medical care. They're going to the sea, to get away from it all. I just wanted to know if this is a regular thing to do.
I'm not saying a thing to was anyone, not my other sisters in law or my kids so everyone can stop saying don't ask sil how it was afterwards! No plans to say anything, hence why I came on here. They'd be looked down on by my in laws and siblings in law if they'd know.

zaq

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 10:24 pm

Lady, it's none of your business. You're not even supposed to know about it. Put your pretty little nose back where it belongs and give the subject a rest.

amother

Linen

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 10:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

If they were at the same place now for shabbos, then why is it surprising they're going for chol hamoed and the last days of pesach.
I agree, for someone as yeshivishe as not having internet, to go to a place without a minyan is strange, but they must have their reason.

amother

Turquoise

Sat, Mar 18 2023, 10:44 pm

If it's a vacation area, maybe there are other families going as well and there will be a minyan. That's common in the US.