Broke working class tzedakah

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 2:22 pm

We have a small family, both work as much as we are able, but it's just not working. We make I little over 100k but everything is so expensive. We are in so much debt that we had been digging our way out of, but now we are falling in deeper. Of course no savings.

We don't qualify for any govt programs.

We have a high needs kid who's costing 20k+/year in tuition/therapy.

How broke do you have to be to reach out to an organization for help with pesach? And can you ask if you buy occasional take out, aren't shopping thrift, ect.?

Its either tzedakah or more debt.

I feel like they like giving to families with a lot of kids, making barely anything. Not working families with a few kids.

IDK. I'm trying to figure out if my guilt is justified.

amother

Wine

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 2:25 pm

You are working and not making ends meet..sounds like enough to qualify to me. Hatzlacha on getting the financial assistance you need.

amother

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 2:33 pm

Maybe what's confused me is where's the line, if we can just borrow more?

Are tzedakah organizations there so people don't go into debt?

So they don't have have to bend over backwards to find time to do more bargain hunting?

Or so they don't have to dig into savings? (Not applicable to us)

Or so they can not work hard?(not applicable to us)

Like when is it justifiable to ask?

amother

Tulip

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 2:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

We have a high needs kid who's costing 20k+/year in tuition/therapy.

I was just thinking today about how different my budget would be if not for my one higher maintenance kiddo. Bh she is a darling and she’s really making progress. And yes, I take a bit of help before sukkos and Pesach. Nothing major. But it really makes a difference.

amother

Tulip

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 2:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

So people don’t go into debt? Yes.

So they don’t have to do more bargain hunting? How much do you think they will give you already? I’m still bargain hunting.

amother

Clover

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 2:41 pm

I have three kids and dh and I both work. We applied for pesach help. Most organizinations have a vetting system in place so if they feel you don't qualify you won't get it. But I would definitely try.

amother

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 2:43 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

So people don’t go into debt? Yes.

So they don’t have to do more bargain hunting? How much do you think they will give you already? I’m still bargain hunting.

I shop stores like target, sage, kidichic, I buy the bare minimum I can get away with. But I'm having hard enough time managing on my plate, I can't add more right now...

DVOM

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 2:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

These are all good questions.

But I think some additional questions are:

Is this income/output level sustainable for you? Do you anticipate your income rising? Your expenses lessening? I can see a generous charity donation (if you can get it) being a lifesaver in a crisis, but what about the long term. Is your child going to need this schooling for many years to come? If your going to need a steady stream of charity funds for the foreseeable future to live, your lifestyle isn't sustainable.

I'd ask for the help you need now, but also look to the future.

Can you improve your earning power? Reduce your spending?

amother

Copper

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 3:03 pm

Definitely ask

amother

Blonde

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 3:17 pm

I don’t think it’s wrong or bad of you to ask for help. The worst is they will say no, and you have nothing to lose by asking. I’m in a similar situation. My family has been middle class and we had always been able to make ends meet.

But I got injured a while back and am unable to work from my injuries. I may not be able to work ever again in the future, TBD, as my recovery has been slow & painful and im still getting needed medical treatment. I have hired a lawyer to help with my injury case, but no idea what type of settlement,if any, I will be able to get and that can be years away still.

My short term disability is running out soon and we’ll be relying on only one income going forward. Not sure if I’ll be able to get long term disability, looking into that next. But We’re having to make drastic financial changes going forward in order to financially survive & not go into debt, since my family income will be dropping like a $100k a year. Number one, it looks like I’ll need to pull my kids from Jewish schools to public schools. There’s just no way we can swing tuition unless the school lets my kids go basically free, and this has been an extremely stressful and difficult decision for my family.

I have already been doing every other cost saving trick we can swing. Shop sales, use coupons, almost never eat out, I make 95% of food from scratch. Rarely ever eat red meat because it’s usually more $$ thann chicken. Clothes/toys for kids usually free hand me downs, thrifted or from discount stores. Never go on vacation, only low cost/free events in our city for entertainment. We utilize the library a lot for books.

And I’ve started to apply to our local Jewish charities & organizations about resources I may be to get assistance from.

So I feel for you and all the financial stress.

amother

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 3:47 pm

DVOM wrote:

Thanks for your advice. Our income goes up incrementally. I wish I knew a path towards a serious income rise. I feel so stuck.

amother

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 3:48 pm

amother Blonde wrote:

I hope things get easier for you soon!

notshanarishona

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 3:51 pm

To me broke means I am doing my best to live frugally and have to borrow money or pay interest if I wouldn’t get help.

amother

Clover

Sun, Mar 19 2023, 4:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

I shop stores like target, sage, kidichic, I buy the bare minimum I can get away with. But I'm having hard enough time managing on my plate, I can't add more right now...

It sounds like you are quite frugal. Everyone understands that pesach is a huge strain even if you aren't going broke. That's why there are so many organizations for pesach. And you don't need to be practically homeless in order to apply.

camp123

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 3:39 am

It's better to take tzedaka money now than go into more debt. Because, without a plan to get out of the debt you'll just need more tzedaka money in the future to pay off the debt and the interest. Debt is just procrastinating the problem if you have no dea how you'll pay it back. Reach out to tzedaka organisations that can help you.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 4:20 am

If you need help, you need help. That's what it's for.

After Pesach, though, it may be worth asking some big picture questions.

Is your income going to rise to meet your needs? If not, what can you do to change that? In the longer term, are your children getting the kind of education that will enable them to be self-sufficient down the road?

Are you living in a place you can afford? Can you find someplace where the cost of living, or the social expectations, are lower than now? What would you have to give up if you moved and would that be worthwhile?

Can you meet with a financial planner and talk strategy?

You have real challenges to face, but it sounds like you are realistic and thoughtful. That puts you ahead of a lot of people already. I wish you bracha and parnassa, and lots of luck going forward.

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