Did you receive acknowledgement for Purim Tip?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim

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amother

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:16 am

I tipped my sons Morah a check for $100 and I see it was cashed.
I am just wondering if Morahs usually say than you, especially for such a generous tip.

amother

Carnation

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:18 am

Yes, as soon as I get a tip I thank the mother.
Your morah is rude nothing else to really say about that
Im sorry you felt not appreciated

amother

Violet

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:28 am

Nope. And don’t expect to.
I sent to 4 Morahs and 1 rebbe
None of them acknowledged it . I’m assuming they said thank you when my child handed it over to them.

I don’t think a thank you needs a thank you. And that’s what my tip was meant for so I’m cool with that .

amother

Clover

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:54 am

I always acknowledge

amother

Stoneblue

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:57 am

amother Carnation wrote:

Yes, as soon as I get a tip I thank the mother.
Your morah is rude nothing else to really say about that
Im sorry you felt not appreciated

Whoa....Way to be judgemental!

amother

Gray

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 9:58 am

my sons rebbes put a thank you message on the newsletter. not personal but its an acknowledgment

amother

Carnation

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:04 am

amother Stoneblue wrote:

Whoa....Way to be judgemental!

Ok I guess im judgemental
I say the same things on threads about kallahs who dont write thank you cards
Whats with people excusing bad behaviour?

amother

NeonPurple

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:10 am

I'm a school therapist and I always send a thank you text. I used to write a card for very large gifts (like $50) but I was worried that the kids didn't actually give it to the mother. So I just text everyone.
My son's rebbi sent home a generic thank you card. His therapist sent a text.
My dd's morahs did not acknowledge it at all
I think it's rude and bad middos not to thank someone for sending you a gift (even if it's a thank you gift).

NechaMom

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:13 am

I did not receive acknowledgment and did not think of it until this thread.
I have no doubt they appreciate it and would thank me if I’d hand it over in person.
Purim is hectic. Life is hectic. I forgive them if they forgot to acknowledge my thank you to them. It doesn’t make me think of them any less.
ETA I’m thinking now I may have noticed on the homework sheet from one teacher a general thank you for all Mishloach manos. There may have been more. Just like I missed reading it they may have missed writing it.... it’s really okay!

Fabulous

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:15 am

Every single Morah and rebbe that I sent to, sent a card home and one actually called me because I think no one else sent her (a reading Morah that my daughter really likes)

Eta: I gave multiple menahalim and they didn’t send a card, but I think that’s a little dif, almost like giving a Rav of a shul. It’s more private

Last edited by Fabulous on Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:17 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:16 am

amother Carnation wrote:

Ok I guess im judgemental
I say the same things on threads about kallahs who dont write thank you cards
Whats with people excusing bad behaviour?

So if I receive a thank you note from a kallah, do I have to reciprocate with a thank you?
A tip is a thank you. My kids teachers did send home thank you notes, but I really don't expect it and I don't think that a teacher is rude for not sending a thank you for a thank you.
Many teachers have it printed on the weekly newsletter or homework sheet, and parents may miss it/not read it. Or the thank you note the teacher sent, may not have made it home. So many possibilities.

glowing1

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:19 am

I find that I am waiting for a thank you when I gift a teacher to motivate them to further invest in my child etc. When I gift a teacher or individual purely out of sheer gratitude, I don't actively look out for the aknowledgement.

miami85

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:27 am

Our school had a chanuka gift campaign for the teachers and the teachers send out notes/emails about the gifts.

amother

Maroon

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:32 am

No, and I didn't send any acknowledgements either (I'm a teacher). I personally find it uncomfortable to send a group thank you on a class sheet because some students' families aren't able to give, and I don't want students to feel embarrassed thinking their parents didn't do something that was expected. It's all good. You want to give, give. You can't or don't want to, don't. Purim is a hectic day and I have no expectations. I appreciate anything anyone gives me, but what I appreciate much more is the opportunity to work with your precious children, whether or not you give me gifts.

amother

Almond

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:34 am

Gave nice checks in the mm. No acknowledgement. Honestly not a great feeling when you extend yourself in a very expensive time of year. A simple thank you would be nice. Obviously you dont give a gift to get a thank you, but IMHO it's menshlechkeit for an adult to say thank you when they get a nice check from someone. I'm not surprised, I rarely get a thank you all the years I've been giving checks. Its usually the English teachers who are much more thankful and appreciative and call/text/send home a note. The rebbe usually doesn't acknowledge it. At least that's been my experience.

amother

Lemon

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:40 am

One Rebbi did one didn’t. Really appreciated the Rebbi who did. Come to think of it he did chanukah as well.

amother

Poppy

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:48 am

My boys' teachers and rebbeim (elementary and mesivta - so they were different yeshivas) all acknowledged. Some with phone calls and others with a group thank you on the weekly parsha sheet.

My daughters school - not one Morah. We gave to four morahs.

Its not really that you don't have to thank for a thank you. What it really is, is a gift to you acknowledging what you do. And I believe it IS appropriate to say thank you for a gift. Especially because a lot of people really extend themselves for it at a very busy and expensive yom tov season.

amother

Carnation

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:50 am

amother Forestgreen wrote:

So if I receive a thank you note from a kallah, to I have to reciprocate with a thank you?
A tip is a thank you. My kids teachers did send home thank you notes, but I really don't expect it and I don't think that a teacher is rude for not sending a thank you for a thank you.
Many teachers have it printed on the weekly newsletter or homework sheet, and parents may miss it/not read it. Or the thank you note the teacher sent, may not have made it home. So many possibilities.

No bc thats going in circles. I think its terrible that kallahs cant take 2 mins to write a thank you note for getting a gift or money. And I think theres no excuse for not thanking someone. its a text or email "thank you for the gift. purim sameach!"

amother

Impatiens

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:50 am

Of the 3 morahs I gave to, only 1 acknowledged. I feel like maybe I shouldn't have bothered to give...

amother

Carnation

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:51 am

amother Maroon wrote:

Why does it have to be one or the other. Why cant you text a parent privately then.
To use a cop out like "but what I appreciate much more is the opportunity to work with your precious children, whether or not you give me gifts" is so interesting to me. Its a simple text to a parent that uses their hard earned money on u as a gift

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