What do your kids do when they come home?

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:24 am

As soon as my kids ages 3-8 walk into the house from school they say they’re bored. My husband goes and plays games with the kids. I feel it’s crazy. They have no idea how to play by themselves and keep themselves entertained. They always need us to tell them what to do or they just hang around us the whole time. What do your kids do?

amother

Opal

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:39 am

My kids are a bit older. But it was always hard for them to wind down. For some kids, its just really difficult after a long day at school, holding yourself together, managing your time and supplies, focusing on schoolwork, dealing with the social ins and outs of the day, and then to come home and have the head to think of an idea and start a whole game. I find that on vacation or shabbos, its much easier for them to get into a play mindset.

I know its controversial, but I allow my kids screen time after homework. Sometimes games, sometimes, more rarely, a video. I feel like they have used a lot of inner resources to get through the day and they just want to veg. I know that some kids like to drop their books and run out to play. But mine aren't like that. They are more introverted, and the group atmosphere at school takes its toll. I finally realized that I can stop listening to all the naysayers and do what works for me. Still working on the mommy guilt, but I really do find that it works for them. They calm down, they de-stress. Its not like they're on devices for 4 hours at a shot. They do their homework, they eat something. And they can use electronics. And then they can play a little or read. Or do a project. Its fine. It makes for a more pleasant evening.

So, do what works for you.

amother

DarkPurple

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:54 am

Always a mad rush to the next thing; play/read, homework, bath, dinner, bedtime.

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 10:57 am

amother DarkPurple wrote:

Always a mad rush to the next thing; play/read, homework, bath, dinner, bedtime.

Yes, this.

There's never enough time for them to do everything they want. Every once in a while someone complains they're bored. I say, "That's great! It's when you're bored that you can come up with the best ideas of fun things to do!"

#BestBubby

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 11:19 am

amother OP wrote:

Your kids should be taught to entertain themselves.

Tell kids if you will play by yourselves

for 15 minutes (timer) than I will play one game

Or read one story.

Then set timer for another 15 minutes.

Go to toy closet and everyone MUST choose one
Toy, game or coloring. Or you will choose for them.
Nobody allowed to hang around parents, stay in
Playroom.

AlwaysGrateful

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 11:29 am

#BestBubby wrote:

Nobody allowed to hang around parents, stay in
Playroom.

So this I don't agree with.

My kids are in school all day. Of course they want to reconnect when they get back home again. My son wants to show me the rubix cube pattern he just made. My daughter wants to show me the picture she drew. They randomly remember things in school they want to talk to me about. I'm not locking them in the playroom. I can talk to them while I get dinner ready or change the baby's diaper or whatever. I'm their mother, and I want them to want to spend time with me.

Kvetching about being bored? No. Hanging out near me? Sure, why not?

And the OP's kids are little, only 3-8. Sure, sometimes they may want to play on their own. But you don't just shoo them down to the playroom so that you can have a quiet afternoon. You're their mother...

amother

Lilac

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 11:42 am

When my kids tell me they're bored so I tell them I'm not their entertainer. I will play games and read with them sometimes. But if they ask me for something to do, I'll offer them ima things to do such as exciting laundry or sweeping...... I also remind them of all the books and toys they have b"H

amother

Hotpink

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 1:23 pm

My kids are littler. 2.5 and just over 1. When they come home, they spend the afternoon destroying the house unless I’m playing with them every second. Just accepting that this is the stage and trying to keep my head above water in the meantime

#BestBubby

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 1:28 pm

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

You are right.

Change that to "no kvetching you're bored"

But if they want to watch mommy cook, do laundry,
Sure.

You sound like a great Mother.

amother

Purple

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 1:38 pm

my kids do the same. we don't do screen time and it's the only thing they want.
clay, puzzles, games, toys, coloring.... nothing interests them.
it's really hard.
I'm hoping now that the summer is upon us they'll keep busy w outdoor activities.

amother

Alyssum

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 1:43 pm

I think that’s very special that they get to spend time with your husband after a day in school. It’s a great transition to dinner/baths…
Obviously they should be encouraged to entertain themselves. I have 1 child that can play for hours on their own but my other kids need me to give them ideas what to do and sometimes sit with them. I know it’s a stage and when their teens I’ll be begging THEM to sit with me Smile

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 1:49 pm

snack
read or listen to story cd
play: board games, lego, cards... and/or homework
artes/crafts/drawing
supper
bathtime, pj
read some more
bedtime shma

giftedmom

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 1:55 pm

They eat
Then they nag or play or act nuts or go outside

samantha1

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 5:15 pm

Wow! Super nice that’s your husband has time to spend time with them ! Don’t worry if it’s normal or not , who cares , my husband unfortunately doesn’t have that much time to spend with the kids , just appreciate it and don’t worry whether it’s normal or not. We’re usually busy with hw, eat, bath….not much time to play , except the 3 yr old tht comes home earlier but he is my only one that knows how to play. I fully believe that kids CANNOT be taught how to play . Trust me I tried ! It’s just a personality thing … some kids know how and some don’t … of course u can offer options … bring up toys …. Give them ideas …I even had my son make a list of things to do and refer to it … but at the end of the day it’s a skill that some ppl have and some don’t .

mushkamothers

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 5:24 pm

samantha1 wrote:

If it's a skill then it can be taught. And yes every kid can be taught just like every adult can be taught mindfulness, for example. By personality it may be easier for some than others, but it's absolutely learnable. Starting from when they're babies in fact.

amother

Lily

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 5:28 pm

My kids used to be really bored as well and I started rotating toys so it’s always exciting.

Additionally, I find kvetching a lot of the time comes from them being overtired or hungry. Make sure they get enough sleep and eat something normal when they come home.

amother

Orchid

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 5:31 pm

3-13. They have supper/snack. Tell me about their day. Play with lego, read books, go outside if it's nice, color/do crafts, listen to the naki radio, play with a neighbour. Then theres homework, shower, more snack, bedtime.

Rappel

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 5:32 pm

They play lion, or baby monkey, or something that requires all of them and a lot of their blankets and my scarves.

Fabulous

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 5:32 pm

It’s my older one that has a hard time. Younger ones are easier. Coloring themselves or a printed pic or color by numbers. Chalk outside. Lego. Magnatiles. House. Dinner. Homework, bubble bath. Minimal screen time. Sometimes we do some family errands too. Takes time

amother

Bergamot

Mon, Mar 20 2023, 6:27 pm

I’ll be honest - They fight with each and drive me crazy mostly.
Sometimes they do a dance party (put on music and dance ), help prepare dinner, play outside if the weather is good. Sometimes I take them to the library or on another errand. We do dinner,bath time , homework, reading but none of it is easy. My evenings are a struggle but well worth it.

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